nothing to see here

now that I have had a good night's sleep after a semi-nuclear breakdown yesterday. I am trying so hard to live in the NOW and be HAPPY and POSITIVE that it all became too much yesterday and it manifested in my passive aggressive tendencies towards Mr. P in a very bizarre way.

I registered for the 1/2 marathon yesterday. I registered for myself. NOT Mr. P.

Then when we were gathering stuff for our trip this weekend I told him, "Hey, if you are going to run that race, you need to register." He looked at me quite surprised. "You didn't register me?"

To which I replied, "Well, you aren't training at all, and it is in two months, so I wasn't sure if you are serious about it or not."

Yowza.

Then when we were watching some TV later and he said, "You really didn't register me?"

AND I am OFF.

When we take a trip, I make EVERY arrangement. I pick the hotel, make the reservations, rent the car (if need be), arrange for the dog, and every other detail that has to be taken care of. Mr. P has NEVER registered for a 5 or 10K himself. I do it. I pay every bill that we have with the exception of his student loan. I take care of health insurance, car insurance, all paperwork. And yesterday I was COMPLETELY over it. So, when it came time to register for the race, I selected to register for myself only.

I told him that I wanted him to start acknowledging all that I do. He just ASSumes that I will take care of it, but he never really asks or thanks me for it all. So I said if he would ask me to register him, I would. He wouldn't.

I am going to be very upset if he ends up not doing this race with me because while I believe I am RIGHT about his taking some initiative now and then, it is making me nauseous that maybe he won't remember or take the time to register.

Maturity reigns at Chez Potchery.

Life happens, so you should LIVE

When I was in 10th grade we moved to Alabama and I started high school with 350 kids. I was still the 'new' kid when we graduated 3 years later because everyone else had been going to school together since Kindergarden.

Anyway, during that first week of 10th grade I was assigned two lab partners in Biology and one of those lab partners led to most of my high school friends and many, many memories. As typical with a small town high school, we had crushes on each other (at different points in time), he was the object of a very weird love triangle with two of my now very good friends, we played tennis, drank grain alcohol mixed into Hawaiin Punch, collected 50 seeds for Biology and during that project I tried chewing tobacco and dry heaved for hours and hours, he joined my church and we went through confirmation classes and softball coached by my father.

We lost touch after high school and he made some very bad choices. VERY bad. But, at the 20 year reunion he was sober and looked great, his wife seemed happy, and their kids are cute.

(He is in the blue shirt).

I have now spent 10 minutes trying to decide how to tell you where I am in the photo if you couldn't tell. I am on his right when looking at the photo, but really I am on his left IN the photo and I don't know which one is the right way to tell you. How about I have on the white shirt. I babble, because the hard stuff is next.

************************************************
Two nights ago, he was speeding, drinking and not wearing his seatbelt. He is in a coma.

************************************************

The evening I got the news about my high school friend, some friends asked us AGAIN to go skiing/snowboarding/tubing with them for the weekend. I immediately said, "Maybe next year when I have lost a bit more weight." They are used to that song and dance and just smiled and said, "cool".

Then I looked at Mr. P and out of NOwhere I said, "YES. We CAN go." So yesterday I found a hotel, rented a car, got a pet sitter, and figured out what we have to do to rent equipment. Tomorrow at lunch we will pack up and head north to a VERY cold eight degree mountain and we will try our hands at skiing and tubing and bringing in the New Year in a life where I no longer say NO because of my weight.

I am done WAITING. I am ready to be LIVING.

Because you just never know.

yeah, you probably SHOULD judge me

because I am eating bon-bons...but not MY bon-bons, but Mr. P's bon-bons because my Mom loves me and Penny and therefore did not give us any bon-bons. Oh, don't judge me for eating candy, but instead because while I eat bon-bons I am just now working on my Christmas cards.

AND

I wrote a.

a.
a.

Christmas letter. I know. I know. I laugh at the Christmas letter writer people.

also, judge me because I compiled a 'collage' photo to include. oh dear, how obnoxious am I?

Anyways, I thought I would share with all of you because other than a few people, I like my interwebs better than most I am sending this too. (Except for YOU, of course).

December 28, 2009
LATE LATE LATE!

We wanted to wish everyone a great holiday season, and even picked out cards out very, very early this year, but we wanted to include an updated family photo and time got away from us—

But…while we have your attention, we will provide a quick update, this has been a HUGE year!

CK2 graduated high school, got a scholarship to Auburn, moved into an apartment (with CK), and completed his first semester in college. He was in two community theater productions this year, Fiddler on the Roof and Miracle Worker.

CK turned TWENTY and is now a senior at Auburn. She has decided on her career…high school science teacher! She will graduate next December. CK spent her summer in upper NY working at Camp Echo Lake and currently works at the after school program where she attended Kindergarden, talk about full circle.

Mr. P and I are enjoying our empty nest, and are anxiously awaiting my tenure decision. I put my packet together in October and should get the final word in early spring. We are definitely hoping for tenure since my sister and her family, and my mother moved to Auburn this year.

It has been a good year for our family, and we hope all of you are well! Hope you had a terrific holiday season!!!

P.S. Santa brought our family a cruise to Mexico for Christmas, and that is when we finally managed to get all of us in a photo!

Commence barfing and gagging, and check out the photo collage:



Merry Christmas. again.

Indulgent, much?

The cruise was DEC.A.DENT. Here is an alphabetical sampling of what I did/ate/drank/saw:


angel fish
bacon
banana daiquiri
Beatles show
bingo
bread pudding
Bud Light
butter
champagne
cheerios
cheese burger
cherries jubilee
chicken fingers
chile relleno
cold strawberry soup
Diet Coke
Dos Equis
duty-free store
flamingos
flying fish
french bread
french fries
french onion soup
french toast
fruit
guacamole
Gulf of Mexico
hammock
hash browns
jogging
karaoke
kayak
lobster
lounging
mangroves
Michelob Ultra
Mongolian barbecue
omelet
pedal boats
quesadilla
queso fundido
ratatouille
reading
Riesling
rye bread
shrimp
sunburn
Tecate Light
tilapia
towel folding class
tree crabs
tuna salad
water trampoline
yogurt

Mr. P and I LOVED cruising and will definitely be going on another as soon as we can coordinate the time off. It was great spending time with the family while NOT dealing with 'real life'.

I will go through the pictures tomorrow and find some that do not fit the adage, "What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico!".

Christmas was fantastic, BUT food has been out of control, same with drink. I am just bloated and BLECH. Ready to get back on the straight and narrow. Will slowly begin to catch up with all of you, and catch you up with what is going on here.

Feliz Navidad!

Bon Voyage!!

In about 7 minutes we will be headed towards the Gulf of Mexico and our cruise ship.

Things here are still "ehh", but I am putting that aside until December 28th.

I am actually at my lowest weight so far this journey, let's see if I can maintain whilst about the giant floating buffet!!!

I just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, Good Kwanzaa or Chipper Channakah...whatever it is that you celebrate, I hope it is great. Catch you on the flip side!

in TRAINING

I officially started my half marathon training today with a 4 mile run that I had to complete in the rain since that is all it has done here in days. and days. and days.

There is some stuff going on 'round Chez Potchery...nothing BAD in itself per se, but pile on a bunch of moderately troublesome stuff and it gets to feeling like a giant pile of shit. Anyway, that stuff has kept me from wanting to blog at all because I want to write about how I feel about the stuff that is going on, but really? They aren't my stories to really blog about in depth if that makes sense. Nothing is going on with ME, stuff is going on with other people that matter to ME.

Oh, but in stuff I can blog about? I took my kids car away. I am very conflicted over this. I feel guilty for taking the car, but relieved because now I can get some stuff done that I have needed to do. When I see grades for this semester I will reevaluate my position.

In Challenge news? I stayed the same weight this week, which is a good thing. I did not log my food. boo. I did not drink 80 oz of water. double boo. There was an additional challenge to try something new...so when I roasted veggies the other night I included brussel sprouts and got everyone to try them (me, Mr. P, CK and CK2). We all agreed that the first one or two are cool, but then they get over-powering. Not sure they will get moved into our permanent repetoire.

I hope to shake these blahs soon, because I sure do miss the blogoshere!

eight miles is FAR

It is official!

I am starting 1/2 marathon training on December 15th and I am pretty stoked. The half is on March 7 at the beach. I am very excited about it.

One of the "prerequisites" of the program was to be able to run 8 miles. Check out my Nike girl---eight.miles. and .02 just for good measure. I felt pretty good up until 7.25ish miles, then the last part was really tough. I wanted to go into work this afternoon, but not sure I have another 1.5 miles in me (to get to the transit, then to my office). I am going to go watch Biggest Loser and try to get pumped up about going to work.

Mr. P's work drama was a one person firing for being a jackass, not a layoff...so everyone else is fine. We ended up not going to the movie because CK had a flat tire, and Mr. P went to help out and then followed her to Walmart so he got home a bit later than we thought...no biggie, instead we went and played trivia and listened to some music. It was fun, we had a really good night. Tonight is family dinner with tacos, crafts and games, and then we have one more weekend until MEX.ICO.

luckily for them, the shirt WAS good

Oh man, the 10K was BRU.TAL. I don't know how the hell they managed, but the whole entire thing seemed completely uphill. And not tiny little hills, but long, long hills that lasted for 20 miles. Oh, the whole race was only 6.2 miles? My bad.

My iPod messed up and told me I had 2.5 kilometers to go, when I thought I had about 1, so I slowed down, and didn't make my goal time...I did it in 1:21 something. Plus, I got lost at one point. I was actually last and the two people in front of me turned and against my better judgement I did too, and that led me astray for a few minutes...oh well, excuses aside as soon as it was done I was thrilled to have done it, and I wore my shirt with pride that afternoon. (and I finished SECOND to last, thank you very much.)

Sadly, I haven't run since. I had a long, slow run planned for today and it rained/drizzled all day and I was sure I didn't want to attempt 8 miles when I was damp/wet. Maybe tomorrow.

I managed to lose 1.6 pounds even with a day of baking on Sunday where I MAY have sampled at least one of about 7 kinds of cookies that I made for the family. I don't know why I bake when I KNOW I can't resist. I said it was to make my kids study care packages for finals, but it is more likely I wanted a reason to eat some cookies.

Mr. P and I were going to see the Blind Side tonight, but he just texted me that he is going to be late because they are having a meeting re: layoffs. He is safe, but it makes my stomach hurt to think of people getting laid off/fired right before the holidays. OH, and speaking of fired, my cousin supposedly got fired for stealing $83. Weird, huh?

Well, I told Mr. P I would get ready to be dazzling company for him this evening since he is bound to be bummed...So I am going to go put on a good bra, low cut shirt, practice my understanding/compassionate doe eyes, dab some vanilla behind my ears and watch some stand-up comedy that I can pretend I made up on the spot. the things we do for love.

this SHIRT better be good

It is 37 degrees.

It is overcast and windy and gray.

It is 7am on a SATURDAY.

The damn shirt better be damn good because a damn 10K under these damn conditions seems like it should almost qualify me for the damn winter olympics.



FYI: I am not really a morning person.

tis the season to go SHOPPING

Normally by this time every holiday season I am in shear panic mode trying to make sure that we are getting the kids the right gifts both in quantity and quality, and while I have done this to myself, I realized last year that I was kind of over that stress.

As if to assure me that last year I was correct in how the holidays were making me crazy, the same thing already started happening...I ordered the kids what I thought were comparable Advent calendars and once they arrived, CK2's was noticably better, and I don't want CK to be upset and so the parent guilt of keeping kids 'even' continues.

The Advent calendar debacle makes me even more grateful that Mr. P and I came to a decision in August that we put into motion in October. No presents this year. Well, no piles of gifts under the tree this Christmas morn. NO, we haven't gone all Scrooge or hippie or anything. (I don't know why I thought maybe hippies didn't give presents, but it fit in the sentence.)

Instead? We booked a 5 day cruise to Mexico for December 19- 24. We will be home by noon on Christmas Eve all set to do all of our traditional Christmas stuff after having spent 5 days together, the 4 of us, in sunny MEXICO. So that means I don't have to spend the next three weeks scouring the Internet for deals or trolling Best Buy and stacking and restacking and then stacking their gifts just.one.more.time to make sure they are going to be happy.

So, my biggest stress of Christmas? Gone.

But today Mr. P and I are going shopping. We have two Toys for Tots events...tonight a basketball game, and tomorrow the 10K, so we are going to go buy toys. FUN. Plus when we had family dinner at the mall on Wednesday I took a tag off a tree to buy a toy for a baby in need. That was the last thing we did, and we were all walking out of the mall, less one Mr. P.

When he caught up to us, and that crabby, grumpy, delicious Mr. P had a tag from the tree for Seniors that live in a local retirement home. He said, "I nearly teared up when I saw that someone made a tag and had to ask for lotion and a blanket."

This afternoon we will be dining at Olive Garden (DON'T you snicker. CARB loading for the 10K tomorrow), then buying 5 toys and lotion and a kick.ass blanket!

How about you? How do you feel about the shopping part of the holidays?

it's OK to be fat and work out...

I have been struggling with food lately, having more bad days than good, so today before I decided on my lunch I found the 'Where are they now' episode of Biggest Loser online and am watching it now (in another window, of course). At the beginning of the episode the doctor made a comment about one of the impacts the show has made on America and it is that the show has made it so that it is okay to be fat and work out. That is really resonating with me.

It took me a long time to feel okay about going to fitness classes, using the weights at the gym, running on the treadmill, running in public...I still wonder if people who pass me or see me are thinking things like:

A little late, dontcha think?

or maybe,

That isn't going to help you, Fattie McFat.

But you know what? I think I (mostly) don't care anymore.

On a somewhat related note, for which I could figure out no graceful or clever transition, I read a post today that inspired me to do something else for my health, and that is to make my appointment for my "annual exam" (I think it has been three years since my last one, OOPS) so that I can then get a referral for a baseline mammogram now that I am at the big 4-0.

Okay, back to the Biggest Loser episode...it ended on the note of finding a DAY TO DAY way to live a healthier life...not the Biggest Loser ranch way, but a real-life way that you can do for.ever. I am definitely NOT there yet, but heading that way for sure.

So on that note, before some lunch, I will get in my last run before the 10K on Saturday, then will have a nice pasta with chopped spinach and broccoli.

Best ADVENT calendar EVA

If you haven't been around these here parts long, then you don't know how I feel about the season of Advent from a gift perspective. I like, no LOVE getting a tiny gift each day, or different gifts leading up to Christmas. I am very gifty. It doesn't have to be much, I just love the thrill of opening presents here and there as opposed to all at once.

A few years ago Mr. P got this whole thing started by having the 12 Days of Christmas for me where I got a teensie tinsie ornament from Hallmark every day for 12 days to go on cutie picture frames. He did this for two years.

The next year, I got a Peyton Manning themed Advent which included a Peyton ornament, Colts stocking, a KICK.ASS official 18 Jersey, a Peyton Manning rookie football card and a subscription to Sports Illustrated. No daily prize, but here and there. It worked for me. (no duh, right?)

The next two years I did Advent for Mr. P. Both times I got him Lego Advent Calendars, the first I got at the Lego store at Disney, and because he dug it so much, last year I ordered Playmobil, Lego and Littlest Pet Shop calendars for all of us. Then.it.happened.

Long story short, Mr. P didn't do anything for me for Advent and my feelings were crushed. THEN he had the gall to complain when he got an ice cream stand as his prize. (I personally liked the Lego prisoner, complete with handcuffs as one of his prizes, what? You don't see the Christmas in that?) Anyway, I got completely defensive and told him it was all him next year. I expected a season of Advent from him next year, which coincidentally is right.now.



I was sure he hadn't done it and had no plans for it. I even sort of called him out. (Yeah, I am a spectacular human being.) I got home today and on the mantle there was a prize, wrapped, for me. It was this:

For those not from around here, this is an artistic rendering of the iconic building of our University. Cool, no?

You know what is cooler? Mr. P made it for me. MADE it. That is his theme for this year, he is making me stuff. I am so excited. I made a comment to him that he should have saved this one for later, because it rocks so hard it would be hard to beat it. He laughed and said, "OH NO, it won't be. Just wait."

He knows me better than that. I CAN'T.

YIN(g) and YANG

So, apparently the saying is YIN and YANG, not YING and YANG as in the YING YANG Twins. I learned that today after reading Nilsa's post about Thanksgiving.

Yesterday I learned that what I have been called a SHUFFLE pass, and Mr. P has been calling a SHUDDLE pass (to each.other even) is actually a SHOVEL pass.

Last night I had a quick spelling bee at our MNF Bingo gig, and I, the HOSTESS, had Massachusetts spelled wrong. MASSECHUSETTS is what I had on my paper.

What the hell man?

So after my debacle of a breakfast yesterday I posted that I would do better for lunch. I ended up in meetings right after my class so I didn't get to leave for lunch until 2:30 and I bolted across the street to Firehouse Subs. On the way I made the decision to have Jalapeno Popper Doritos (7 POINTS) with my sandwich. DUDES, as luck would have it, they didn't even have them, so I had Southwestern Baked Lays instead. Then I had a grilled chicken salad for dinner.

and 4 fried pickles. and 1 french fry.

All POINTS tallied, I am halfway through my Weeklies on Day 1 of the week. Stellar.

Today though, I have done a 5K (which I haven't uploaded yet because I still like the 7.03 under my Nike+ girl), took the dog for a walk, and ate my yogurt breakfast which while I was eating I thought...YUM, this is so.much.tastier. than greasy hash rounds. I have plans to hit my favorite 6.5 POINT lunch (slice of cheese pizza and spinach salad) and finish my day not touching any.more.weeklies.

SEVEN!

Yesterday afternoon I got so freaking pissed slightly annoyed at Mr. P's general crabbiness. I decided that I needed a little break from him and the house and where just one year ago I would have grabbed my book and gone to Moe's for nachos to give us time to chill the fuck out, I threw on my running gear and went for a little, teensie, tiny SEVEN mile run. During the first mile I was sure that a kickass divorce lawyer was surely the answer to our problems as Mr. P snapped at me for a Diet Coke can sitting by the sink instead of being in the recycling (and the can wasn't.even.mine and I had spent all morning doing all.his.laundry) and because we, wait for it, didn't even have an egg. But, after a few miles, I decided maybe just cutting him a little bit of slack because we did have a bunch of family stuff this week, his work is very stressful right now and he is really trying to cut back on smoking was probably a better idea.


When I returned , Mr. P and I made nice and then he went and gathered some Panera for dinner. Then we watched Four Christmases. Funny thing is that Dad and the girlfriend watched it Saturday night and said it was pretty bad and that it was just.too.weird. Ironically one of the Christmases is where the dude's MOM is with his friend from HIGH SCHOOL and of course, the dude is highly freaked.out. Mr. P and I just looked at each other and laughed...because right before they left yesterday (Dad and the girlfriend) they told me anytime that I thought our family was bad, I should watch this because it was WAY worse, and really? Seemed sort of exactly the same to me.


With the GINOURMOUS run yesterday, I elected to just do a 30 minute walk this morning at the break of dawn, and then I weighed in. EXACTLY the same as last week which I consider to be pretty victorious. So that means I am sitting at a Fat Test score of 84.53%.

I attribute much of that to the running of 12.5 miles over the last two days, because I really, truly did not watch what I ate at.all. Then this morning I was a bit rushed and ate Chick Fil A for breakfast instead of my yogurt, fruit, cereal combo. A biscuit and hash browns. SEVENTEEN POINTS. what the hell???? But I did journal it, and will eat a sensible lunch and dinner and try to get my exact same ass back in gear because getting to 80% in a month, this particular month, is going to actually require me to work.at.it.

a few Thanksgiving pictures

I have spent the ENTIRE day in my pajamas on my chaise with my laptop watching the Colts play the Texans (NFL). I have caught up on my farm, my blog reading, and even a little workity work. I am feeling very content and lazy and good.

I thought I might share a few photos from Thanksgiving...

I am celebrating Penny scoring a touchdown for the girls. I am NOT on the sidelines, I was a receiver in a spread offense! We play a sport every Thanksgiving afternoon, and it is always boys versus girls. It worked out much better for us when CK2 was a munchkin. Now that he is giant, not so great. If you look you can see tiny Eli too! The game ended in a tie.

After dinner my guts hurt so much from eating so MUCH FOOD (we had turkey, ham, two kinds of stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, baked acorn squash, roasted veggies, green bean casserole, sausage balls, mini pigs in blankets, blueberry salad, deviled eggs, coleslaw, and gravy) that I decided to lay on the floor and play with Eli. First we did Lincoln Logs then he wanted to draw. We made hand turkeys, and I am getting quite a bit of guidance on how mine should be.

My art was Thankstastic!

After resting for quite awhile we were ready for some dessert. We had trifle, bread pudding, blackberry cobbler and pumpkin pie. Here is an overhead view of my trifle. Angel food cake, berries, sugar-free fat free banana and vanilla puddings whipped with a bit of Fat Free Cool Whip, bananas, and the thing that pulled it all together? JAM. Sugar free blackberry jam and red rasberry preserves. On Thanksgiving I had one bite of dessert, I was just TOO full. I did manage a serving (or 5) of trifle yesterday. I have one bowl left for this evening.

I haven't stepped on the scale to determine the damage done, but just in the nick of time, another race week is upon us. We are doing a 10K this Saturday for Toys for Toys so we will be on our best healthy behavior all week!

giving THANKS

Over the past year I have done a bunch of moaning and groaning about various sources of angst...my parents, my job, my kids, my fat fat fattiness and occasionally even Mr. P. Yet over this last 10 days I have tried to do a lot of reflecting and thinking about where I am now that I am 40.

I have been married for 20 years to a man that will on any given day walk my dog for me, go out late to fetch a Diet Lo Cal Cherry Limeade, does laundry, dishes, cooks, is very handy and loves me very much. I tend to focus on when he farms too much, or smokes more than I would like, or is generally very crabby at restaurants. I don't really get what that is about, but man, dude is CRABBY at restaurants. My sister finally admitted that she always thought I was exaggerating, but now that she is with him more, she sees it too. For Mr. P, I am thankful.

I focus on my kids taking my MOVIES from my house and not telling me, or losing laptops or cell phones, or being messy. But I know how lucky I am to have smart, beautiful, funny and healthy kids, and for them, I am thankful.

I have a job that requires me to kiss more ass than I would like, at all levels, and I think I have been caused more angst than I should have and I focus on that. Not that I really only have to be in my office two days a week, can wear whatever I want when I am not teaching, can come and go as I please, and have LONG Christmas and summer breaks, not to mention it pays well. So for my job, especially in this economy, I am thankful.

I focus on my mother wearing bizarre clothes and just being weird. Sort of the same stuff with my Dad. But on Thanksgiving I spent all day with both of them and I have to say, I really enjoyed it. I didn't have to worry that the other was feeling left out, because they weren't. My dad was nice. My mom was nice. It was all so nice. I still have both of my parents and they are trying to be around and for that I am thankful.

My fattiness is been especially problematic the last few days for me because while I have lost a bunch of weight in most of the Thanksgiving pictures, well, I am still just fat. I have eaten a bunch of food, but I did manage to get in a 5.5 mile run this morning. Starting this running plan really, truly changed my life and gives me hope that I can keep up with this journey even during the eaty, eaty holidays, and for that, I am thankful.

Section 46 Row 13 Seat 20. Thirty two minutes until kickoff. War Eagle!

Happy Thanksgiving! Mine was pretty perfect. I am completely full and content. Food. And family. It was pretty awesome having my whole. I mean WHOLE family for a day. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Thanksgiving Eve is in the books

at Chez Potchery, and with only a tiny bit of blood shed (literally)...I shoved my hand in a drawer looking for a can opener and the food processor blade got me. ouch. My kids were both there and we all kind of thought we might be spending the evening at the urgent care place getting stitches, but a Diego bandaid is all I needed.

The girlfriend DID show, and as of right now, I feel completely bad for her situation, so she is welcome. Some weird drama with her kids and her ex and her ex's new wife (who I graduated high school with if we are keeping score). Now, I still don't get why someone MY AGE would want to be romantically involved with MY DAD, but whatevs.

We threw together a fun little barbecue with hamburgers, hot dogs, grilled chicken, baked potatoes (sweet and regular), corn on the cob, salad, fruit, and s'more fixings. We had a fire in the fire pit, had some drinks and now everyone is either watching Holiday Inn, or catching up on Biggest Loser and blogs (only I am doing that actually).

I hope everyone has a fantastic holiday, and I will wow you with pictures of my rock ass trifle tomorrow. (Think angel food cake in the shape of turkeys).

And so the holidays are right.up.on.us

So my Dad shows up for Thanksgiving tomorrow. He may or may not be bringing his girlfriend. You know, the one that is TWO years older than I am. I don't really get why she would come because she has a 14 year old child of her own that it seems like she might want to see at some point over the weekend. AND even though my sister is not thrilled at the prospect of her joining us, I don't even really believe she will come. There have been two other potential sightings and both times weird stuff (READ: Stuff she lied about) happened so she couldn't come. I hope that happens again.

AND, my Dad is also planning a get-together for my house tomorrow evening...he wants us to grill steak and sit outside around the fire pit having adult beverages under twinkling white lights. He had this whole plan for said twinkly lights that included some lumber and maybe a nail gun...we shall see. JUST IN CASE though, I did buy some marshmallows that are chocolate/vanilla swirl.

Then Thursday we have planned out every minute of the day beginning with pumpkin bread and "Thanksgiving" coffee (I don't know exactly about that, but check with Penny if you are curious), followed by some outdoor sporting activity (I hope for football this year), then sausage balls, then dinner, then fancy drinks, or maybe vice versa, then a block party downtown.

Block party? Downtown? On Thanksgiving? YES. Because while Thanksgiving is big, it isn't the BIGGEST thing happening this weekend in our neck of the woods. It is the Iron Bowl. Auburn verus Alabama. and I made a bet. A very, very scary bet. Jen, from Hey Y'all* is a die hard Bama girl. I am NOT. Loser will display themselves on their blog for all to see wearing a SNUGGIE from the other team. Mr. P is NOT pleased and swears he won't take the photo. So, on Friday afternoon, if you happen across CBS cheer for the orange and blue. That lunatic in the 13th row wearing orange and screaming her face off?

That will be me.

Last weekend was great. This weekend will be greatER.

War Eagle.

*I originally did the weblink wrong because I thought Jen used Wordpress. She doesn't. But, the chick at the other address was supposed to get asked out by some guy after he dumped his girlfriend but didn't. In case you were curious.

this may or may NOT be cheating

but I am merely posting to fulfill NaBloPoMo. We are home, but not home. We have a second gig whereby we host MNF Bingo at a local watering hole, and I just grabbed Mr. P's computer real quick to do a post.

Let's see...we went to Tybee Island today and ate a bizarre crab place that has exotic birds, cats and alligators. Then we walked on the beach and gathered some shells...I have a present in mind for my mom. It may involve silver spray paint.

Then we drove home. At an outdoor Christmas light store we saw a cross made of white lights with a red and green Jesus (also made of lights) cruxified upon it. I missed the picture opportunity but the place is only 15 minutes outside of town, so I will be going back for a picture.

It was great to be away, but now it is great to be home. Thanksgiving awaits!!!

life isn't fair

Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair to be happy and have what you want when other people don't and you know that they probably deserve it more than you do.

hippie mormon pirates

Last night when we were walking by the river we saw a pretty awesome tall ship. Today when we were out and about we saw that you could take a free tour, so we did. It was really, really cool. Mr. P tried out being a pirate:

Then we noticed that there was one man, and a bunch of women and girls making pottery. on the ship.

Mr. P grabbed a pamphlet and we promptly got off that boat. He just read it to me, and I am not sure exactly what religion they are but it sounds like a cross between mormon and hippie and they live on that boat and drive it up and down the eastern seaboard selling pottery and accepting donations.

Then we went to an art gallery where I fell.IN.LOVE with this glass hangy sculpture.

Then we got a cup of crab chowder and loaf of french bread and some garlicy cheese sauce. and then $35 worth of candy at the fudge/caramel apple/gummy store. I swear at least $2.78 worth is for Eli.

our bags are packed, we're ready to go...

about 6 hours later than we had originally planned, but I refuse to rush or be stressed, even on mini-vacation.

Mr. P and I decided that we would spend SOME money on a little get-a-way...and Savannah, GA is the winner. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous and we plan on just DOING whatever, whenever as the mood strikes us. No plans. None. We have hotel snacks, running gear, and Christmas movies (for room service one night). I guess we do sorta have some plans.

Maybe even more exciting than the getaway, is that I have contracted with my dog sitter for my house to be cleaned top to bottom for Thanksgiving guests while I am away (by the college kids). Which means when I get back on Tuesday, I have a few errands to do, and then I can just enjoy Thanksgiving break with my kids and the family. Booyah.

I need to grab my phone charger and my camera charger and shut this thing down so we can get on the road!!

Seniorita, you be too mucho grande

Even after all I have done to work on getting healthier, the fact that I am still obese just keeps smashing me all right up in my grill.

Mr. P and I surprised the college kids with a 5-day cruise to Mexico for Christmas. We are all very excited about it. One of the stops is Cozumel and we have been debating what shore excursion we want to do. College kid posted on my FB page that she wanted to do this zip-line/snorkel combo so I took a look at it because while it sounds super fun, I KNEW there would be a weight limit.

I was right. There is. That isn't the problem. There is also a WAIST limit. 44 inches. My waist? 44 inches. Almost 4 feet. I am still almost FOUR feet around. I had to tell the kids, sorry, I can't spend the next 30 days petrified that I will get there and they say, "Seniorita, you are too fat."

Then Mr. P jumped in and said, they won't say THAT.




They would say, "Seniorita, you be mucho grande".

asshat.

sigh of RELIEF

Today I gave my last lecture of this semester. We have next week off for Thanksgiving, then I gave them a week off to make up for evening exams and the last day of class the students will present their final projects. shew. I am even, for just this second, caught up on grading. SHAZAM.

Now I have THREE researchy things due on December 1. One grant proposal, one conference submission (yes, I want to go to San Fransisco in August for freebie), and one paper has to get back to a journal. Once I get through those deadlines and get the final projects graded I am free as a bird until we start back in January. This will be the first real break I have taken in 10 years. No research. No class prep. Only gingerbread house making, craft doings, movie watching, and other fun stuff for a month. I am PSYCHED!!!

In regular news, I am a tad bit under the weather and every day that goes by that I don't run I am worried when I start back it will be like day one of the Couch to 5K (I ran 3 miles on Monday)...do any of you ever feel like that? I have been good on the food journaling front, and decent with water (but that will be a fail this week too, because yesterday I thought that homemade Diet Cherry Limeades would make me feel so much better than water. I was right.).

And apparently my mom dyed her hair BLACK today. Yikes. However, I think it might be better because I was telling Penny that I think she looks really weird sometimes because her hair is the same color as her face (kind of an orangey tan look?).

(I have been very parenthetical on this post.)

Specious rewards?

Some of my research focuses on how users of technology focus only on short term rewards instead of considering the long term benefits of learning a new technology. This is especially evident in industries where time is extremely valuable.

I am finding myself struggling with this exact notion, not with learning technology, but with kind of everything else....I have a colleague who is dying, to the point that his wife is afraid to order a birthday cake for herself in a few weeks because he might not be around and it might be too hard on their kids. I think about them all the time and I think that is why I struggled so badly with food last week and am struggling with all kinds of decisions that usually I do not fret about.

"If I am going to get hit by a bus tomorrow, who cares if I am 3 pounds heavier from chicken wings and cookies?"

"What if something happens and I regret not taking Mr. P to Vegas because it would take most of our savings?"

THEN, I go more long term...

"What if I get diagnosed with something and if I had just lost weight I could fight it better?"

"What if I use all our savings to go to Vegas and the truck breaks down?"

I am struggling to find a balance between living in the present and living for the future.

When do you live for?

As it should be

Of course, I gained weight at my weigh-in this morning, and let's be honest, that is exactly what SHOULD have happened based on my behavior this past week.


I gained 2.2 lbs to get my Fat Score to 83.94%.

(For those of you that haven't been playing along, my ultimate goal is to get to 62% of my fattiest fat weight which was almost a year ago, and for the Holiday Health Nut Challenge is to get to 80% by December 28 which will mark a year of this quest.)

Journal every bite? massive fail. After I logged my weight last week, I never opened the PointTracker again until I just entered this week's weight. However, I have logged the THREE miles I ran at 6am where I got to see 6 deer and 2 turtles/birds/snakes. No, not two of each of those, but I could only see a head and no body in the water and am not really sure what the water things were...I have narrowed it down to either turtles or birds or snakes. I have also logged the first 20 ounces of water and my yogurt breakfast.

80 ounces of water? ha ha, I laugh at this because again? fail. Not even close.

So, I am now at my office, hydrated, breakfasted and exercised and it isn't even 9am. I am starting to feel like myself again, and really, that is just so bizarre...because it wasn't so long ago that it was this exact same feeling that made me feel like a stranger in my own skin.

deTOXification process

My body revolted at my complete disregard to her health this week. I had such a bad stomach ache last night I had to lay on my side and pathetically rub my own belly because it was just so hurty and yucky. I paid the toll for about 12 hours and now I am well under way in the detoxification process. Lots of cool, plain water. Fresh fruits and vegetables. I was telling Mr. P that as I ate fresh spinach and tomatoes I could feel my cells start to party in pure relief..."DUDES, she is FEEDING us actual FOOD today!!!!"


It is so obvious that I way over did it this week, even the neurons that make up the Fattie on my shoulder (you know the one that says, "GO AHEAD...EAT IT") are in total agreement with some all natural, healthy goodness. I know that because today when we were stocking up on fruit, vegetables, yogurt and milk this display did NOTHING for me:






And normally I lick at least one package.

the girl who eats too many cookies

Last week Mr. P and I had a picture perfect week of healthy, healthy, healthy topped off with a 10K run. I got lots of good regular work done. I woke up feeling perky, with that good muscle stiffness that comes from lots of running...you know what I mean, right?

But this week? Not so much. We have eaten out every.night. And more nights than not (this week) we had adult beverages. or three. All in all, I am not digging how I feel. Sluggish and tired and bloated and blah. That feeling leads to wanting to eat Wendy's or McDonald's "to feel better".

Feeling all pathetic and wilted this morning has me all introspective. I am wondering about Shay from the Biggest Loser. ****SPOILER ALERT**** She started out at 450+ pounds. She lost 100 pounds, then got voted out. Usually when someone gets booted there is a little 'where are they now' update at the end of the show. They didn't show hers. Why not? Did she gain it all back? Plus some?

That is how I got to be 100 pounds overweight. I started out 20 lbs overweight and lost it all in a month in a VERY unhealthy way. Gained it back plus some. Had two babies, and then was 40 pounds overweight. Lost 25 in a few months. Gained 45 back. You see the cycle. If I do that to myself again, I could end up at 300 pounds. I really thought I had broken my cycle and haven't really considered that I would gain all the weight back until last night when I ate 7 cookies. SEVEN. In a matter of minutes. So while I have changed in many, many ways...that tendency is still there.

So I sit here today sadly admitting to the world that even with all my running and talk of healthy choices, underneath that facade, I am, and likely always will be the girl who eats too many cookies.

Friday Hotch Potch

I haven't done one of these in awhile, but working within my own rules and standards for NaBloPoMo, I really don't have anything that is completely post worthy on its own, so here is what I got:

• For you runner/jogger/walker types: when you are between training cycles, what is your running/jogging/walking routine? The 1/2 marathon training program I want to do (from the Nike + site) starts on December 15 and I need to get my long run up to 8 miles by then, but I am used to looking at a schedule for my mileage. I took off Monday and Tuesday, ran 3 on Wednesday and 4 yesterday. Thoughts, suggestions, links to other training programs that you like??? HELP ME. HELP ME.
• I have an excited stomach because Mr. P is on his way home and we are going out to lunch and then to see 2012. We love the distaster movies. The more over the top, the more unrealistic, the more buildings and monuments and HOLLYWOOD signs toppling over, the better! Mr. P called me at work a few months ago to direct me to the trailer. We talked about going out of town this weekend, but then didn't because the movie starts.
• Just writing that blurb about us not going out of town this weekend made me realize that I think my office neighbor is getting married tomorrow. Guess we weren't invited. Can't decide if I am relieved or hurt.
• During the all day rain fest of Ida my office got flooded. It is wet and smelly. I have worked at home since. I use the term work very loosely because I found a blog about a polyamorous relationship that is fascinating me and I just keep reading, reading and backreading it some more.
• After last week's success at journaling every bite and getting close on drinking all the water for the Holiday Health Nut Challenge I have not done either. at all. all week. I haven't made bad choices necessarily, but I am making a lot of CHOICES if you get my drift. Notice how I slide that news right into a little bullet point?
• On Wednesday night driving my mom was chatting about stuff she bought for the apartment which happen to include all kinds of stuff we all like, Diet Dr. Pepper, a puzzle, Scrabble, stuff to bake cookies, etc. As she walked into her apartment I looked at Mr. P and said, "Okay. I am done being mad at her now." And I think that I am. I am still snotty to her out of habit, but am trying to check that a bit better. I jogged to her house yesterday to visit a bit, and Mr. P went there for coffee before work this morning. But don't fret, she will still be ridiculous!

Hotch Potchery, OUT!

Complete sign of MATURITY

I am talking about the kind of maturity that you say like this:

MATOUR

Not the kind of maturity that you say like this:

MATCHUR

Mr. P and the College Kid got into a discussion on whether the snake I saw last week was a rattle snake or a rat snake while we were at family dinner last night. In a stand of supremacy, the College Kid went out to the car and got her notebook for the critter class she is taking (all things reptilian and amphibious I want to say) to demonstrate her classification and naming prowess. After her asking me a few questions about that snake's head where I might have made up the answers she admitted it might be a rat snake (she was on the side of rattler) and decided to go play with Eli in the kid's play area of the restaurant.


While she was gone I grabbed her notebook and we added stickers and other commentary to her notes. For example, Penny wrote "I HEART PBI" which stands for some sort of breeding, but I don't remember what the P or I stands for now. Teddy wrote "I heart NEWTS" in SororityGirl16 font. Mom had some stickers with snakes that we added to her notes. But the piece de resistance that had me laughing SO hard that I cried and then my throat got all phlegmy and thick?

Which if you don't know what it is, it is Mr. P's rendition of the SNL skit baby hands lady which comes up in many a family meeting...see the tiny hands on the star stickers????

Like I said, we are MATOUR.

egoCENTRIC much?

So last Tuesday about halfway through my LONGest run, a white pickup truck pulled along side me and rolled down the passenger window to talk to me.


I took out my earbuds and was expecting one of the following questions~


How FAR do you run?


How LONG do you run?



mmmm. NO. Dude was looking for his dog. I have no idea why I would seriously think some random guy would be interested in my running repetoire, but that is exactly what I thought he wanted to talk to me about. sigh.

It wasn't all perfect

So I didn't want to put too much negativity into my post about my race success, you know other than me bitching about the other participants not 'doing it right' so I left out one key detail that had me really aggravated and pissy.


I signed up for this race MONTHS ago to ensure we got a spot and even more importantly we got a shirt. I love my race shirts. I wear them smugly around town. Yeah, I am that girl. Anyway, when I got in the line to get my shirt I was told, "Yeah, we are out of XL." WHAT?!?


I was really, really disappointed to have to get a L. "Great, in the spring I can wear my L." I was really counting on wearing my race shirt out to get beer and wings with friends after we got home and got showered, but I had to get a stupid L.

So we got home, got showered, and then for the hell of it I put the shirt on to see how long it would be before I could wear it in public. Turns out...


NO TIME BITCHES!!! Score.

Gluttons for punishment

Yesterday afternoon, the day AFTER the big 10K, Mr. P and I went out and did a 5K!

I got an email that there was a 5K to benefit pancreatic cancer starting at 4:15pm and the finish line was the 50 yard line IN.THE.STADIUM. They had us at STADIUM. So we got all decked out in school color running gear and headed out. There were a group of my students and two other professors from my department.

We started out a little uphill and I was NOT feeling it. But then, everything kicked in and I felt good. I finished at 39:10. It was the same route as a 5K we did in February and DUDES.....the day after the 10K, I shaved nearly 3 minutes off my time. Even better, I beat the other professors and all but one of my 22 year old students. BOOYAH. After the race we were allowed to roam about a bit and (apparently) I was VERY excited (and what is with my super wide eyes?) to get a picture with Mr. P and this very growly tiger. (I am giving away my location with this picture...so don't tell, k?)


So running has been good this week...but how did I do on the challenge?

• I did journal EVERY.bite. It was not pretty. Check. (I ended up with negative points, after 47 activity points, yikes.)


• I did NOT drink 80 oz of plain water every day. If I could count VitaminWater and Sobe Water then I would have had it...but alas, I can not. So while I did way better with water, I do not get a check on this one.


• My long term goal is to get to an 80% Fat Score for 2009. I started the challenge at 84.89% and after my weigh-in this morning, I am at a sweet 83.14%! I am now .2lbs into new weight territory (if you don't recall I gained last week).

So how do I feel about Week 1 of the challenge? GOOD! Bring on Week 2!

1:19:24. Take that Jolly Trolley!

Yesterday was a great.day. GREAT.

We lazed around in the morning, then we picked up Mom, then Penny, Eli and Teddy and headed to the race. We were all very very eager, and ended up at the race site with numbers pinned on, race bags back in the truck with an HOUR to wait for the race to start.

The weather was gorgeous. I was hydrated and carbed and when the race finally started I felt great. The course was quite hilly, so I was very glad I had trained the way that I had...I saw people really, really struggling doing a sprint/walk duo that seemed very hard, especially on the hills. What was great for me is that with my slow and steady plugging away, I was able to pass a bunch of people. A BUNCH of younger, thinner people.

Here I am about 100 yards from the finish...I had just yelled to my family, "NO TROLLEY!"

My official time was 1:19:24, but my REAL 10K time was 1:18:48 (I started my Nike + at the starting line when I was able to cross it). With a little time math you can see that I finished a good TEN minutes before the Trolley driver even started out to get the stragglers. Mr. P had a great race with 1:06, him and Penny were within eyesight of each other for most of the race which is a story in itself, but I don't want to steal her thunder regarding how she did (she rocked though).

I have read other people talk about race etiquette, and yesterday was the first time it got.on.my.nerves. If you are going to walk, and you know that, back your shit up and get in the back of the pack so that I don't have to go AROUND your group of 5 across that take up the whole running lane. If you are going to run/walk, don't get RIGHT.in.front.of.me. and then stop short to walk so I have to make sure I don't jog up on your feet when you stop. Does my running smugness make you laugh as much as it does me? You know what else? I had FUN yesterday doing that run, and I am sad that it is over.

Here we are post run..

You see how I am leaning in? I always do that because I always think I am going to be too big to fit in the picture. I hope to get over that.

But since that is a goal made and completed, I feel a bit more confident and ready to start 1/2 marathon training. YIKES!!

Oh, and belated thanks for the Christmas song ideas...my playlist was great! And also for the support while I was getting ready for this...you guys came to mind more than once while I was chugging away!

Race Day!

Act 1

So luckily Mom decided she wanted to ride 1.5 hours to the race and back with us this afternoon! Maybe she can tell more stories like this:

(Precursor to story...Mom calls me and asks where she should go get a tire...someone put an arrow in her tire and ripped off her front license plate, so I told her Walmart and another local place that Mr. P uses for such needs.) And no, it wasn't Penny or I. I think.

Mom: I go to [not one of the places I mention] and ask them about a Goodyear tire and they had a Michelin for $110.
Me: Why did you ask me where to go if you were going to pick somewhere else?
Mom: Then I went to Walmart and they had the exact tire I wanted for $85 including installation and everything.
Me: Well, good.
Mom: A midget did it.
Me: They don't really like that word.
Mom: Oh, well I didn't say that to his face.
Me: Okay good.
Mom: (in a somewhat surprised voice) Anyway, he was nice.
Me: You don't say.
*********
Act 2

Last night was opening night of Miracle Worker. I have to say CK2 played quite a douche...and he did quite a good job! i actually enjoyed the story much more than I thought I would. Mom, Mr. P, Penny, and College Kid went and sat behind some people who will probably not want to be our friends...not even on Facebook. Yeah, we are those people, whispering a commentary and eating candy, albeit quietly during the play.

BUT, I almost lost it at one point:

Mrs. Keller: Eva, do you want a pickle?
Eva: You know how I love a pickle.

Simultaneously, one at my right and one at my left, Mr. P and Penny, "That's what she said."
*****
Act 3

I am well carbed and hydrated and I have my playlist ready to go assuming we can use the iPods. It is supposed to be gorgeous weather this afternoon, and I am actually really looking forward to the run. If the title of my post tomorrow is "Fuck that Trolley" you may want to avoid reading if you have an aversion to strings and strings and strings of cursing!

It's a miracle!

Tonight is another edition of 'Dinner and a Show'. We will be attending the community theater production of "Miracle Worker", which for those of you who aren't up on your Alabamians, it is the story of Helen Keller and her teacher, Anne Sullivan.

But we aren't that interested in Helen Keller or Anne Sullivan...we are attending because we adore JAMES Keller. Why, oh, why do we have our hearts set on James? ahhh, because CK2 is playing James!! This is his first "adult" theater experience, I am really excited to see it even though I am not convinced that it is a story I am that interested in...I know, right? I kinda suck. We also get to feel very fancy and go to the window and get our comped tickets...all the stars get those and can "leave them at the window". Awesome.

On the subject of CK2 I had to play the pissed off mom card on him yesterday...I read a letter from his Dean that CK2 had not written a thank you for his scholarship, and the Dean had asked him 3 times already. I was NOT pleased. And CK2 got a text, voicemail and FB message instructing him to write.the.damn.letter. Dude, it is a $2,000 letter...just write the fucking thing already.


I wholeheartedly agree that my ingrate child should definitely thank the person who provided him that scholarship and also should have done it when the Dean first requested him to do so (hence the angry mother voice mail)...but the letter? I think it was completely inappropriate in verbiage and tone. I don't believe that that a Dean should ever threaten a kid "...if you intend to keep your scholarship", or write things like, "if I were the benefactor I would question why someone was so ungrateful and question whether you were a wise investment. Certainly there are other students who would be much more grateful ."

Maybe that is why there is a search for a new Dean in that school.

OR, am I just being one of "those" Mom's ?

Who needs an orthodontist when you have gum and/or paperclips??

So last night was family dinner, sans family. Except of course the family member Penny and I wish was missing, our mother. (It was me, Penny, Eli and MOM.)


I am sitting across the table from my mother and notice that she has chewing gum kind of wedged around her front teeth like some sort of bizarre Hubba Bubba Invisalign braces. But not invisible, but GUM like.

So I mention it. She acknowledges that I mention it. She leaves it there all during dinner. We ate salad. and pizza.



What the hell is that?!?



Oh, speaking of 'do it yourself braces'...did any of you wish you had braces or a retainer when you were in middle school and take paper clips and straighten them out then mold them around your teeth and then wear it at school?



NO?



oh, me neither.

My favorite player of last weekend: On the OTHER team.

I am a HUGE football fan, and is it quite often I find myself yelling, "Rip his legs off !" or some equal sportsman like comment at the television...whether it be college kids or the professional players. On Saturday morning, we were watching our football against another school within our same division...a win was important. We had lost 3 in a row, plus we always want to beat the schools in our division. We did not start out very well, so the house was filled with "sportsmanship".

During the game, one of our defensive players was tackling the opposing running back, and after the play was whistled dead both players were motionless. The crowd went silent. Yes, you want them limping off the field because your guys are more hardcore than their guys, but you never. ever. want to see players laying so so still on the field.

After awhile of coaches, doctors, players huddling around the injured players, come to find out it was our guy that was hurt. Really hurt. And the guy he tackled, the OPPOSING running back stayed perfectly still UNDERNEATH him until the doctors and emergency crew got our guy on the stretcher. That running back could have pushed our guy off of him and popped up like they do every other play, and no one would have thought a thing about it. But he didn't. He laid there with an opposing player on top of him. And by doing that, doctors say he saved our player from permanent paralysis.

Even though we won, that kid on the other team? He made the best play of the game in my book. I hope that I can remember his actions (or inaction) next time I am in a position where I can help someone out, just.to.do.it.

the LONGest run

When I first starting training for the 10K that is.this.Saturday, I remember reading through the training schedule and getting a tiny bit LOT freaked out.

I wasn't sure I would stick with the training schedule, I might hurt myself, I just wasn't completely confident that while still obese (from a BMI standpoint) that my poor old lady body would handle it. But today was that Tuesday that I have been anticipating for weeks and weeks.

I got all water belted up (it was 75 degrees here today), put my phone and even some PowerBar goo in my belt at Mr. P's insistence (because he is at work and gets nervous that on my very deserted run I could keel right over). I felt both dorky and strong setting out. The first 1/4 mile was really, really hard for some reason. But then I got to Right Round by Flo Rida and things fell into place.

I run away from my house for 3.13 miles, then turn around and chug back. At about a mile out I have to go around a fence that keeps my neighborhood separate from a new development. I gave my future self an imaginary high five, well not really an imaginary high five, I did the motion, but my future self wouldn't return it until about 4 miles later. (yeah, I do that type of thing a lot.)

At the turn around I decided to try the goo:

It was gooey and warm and SWEET and kind of grossed me out. BUT I will admit that my 5th mile was about a minute faster than my other miles, so I think maybe there is something to 'refueling'.

On the way OUT, I saw this guy and was scared of him and excited that I had my phone so I could take his picture, but then I did run in the dead center of the road because there were a bunch of leaves and I didn't want to run into/onto any of his buddies.


With about a mile to go, I high fived my past self at the crossing

and then finished up at 1 hour 26 minutes. I felt amazing. I did it. I completely jogged a 10K on a hilly, hilly course. I felt stoked for Saturday. So stoked I pulled out my confirmation card and in the teensy tinsy print, "The Jolly Buggy will set out after 90 minutes to pick up any slow ass motherfuckers so the rest of us can go home."

Okay, no, it didn't really say it quite that way, but I didn't know there was a time limit, and even though I came in under it today, it makes me much more anxious than I wanted to be...remember the training promise that I would be confident now? Not as much, but I am going to 'taper' and 'carb load' and 'hydrate' so that I do NOT have to get on any mother fucking trolley this Saturday. Mark my words.

Challenge Extended...

Challenge Accepted...and none to soon it would seem.


I was perusing the blogosphere yesterday afternoon and while catching up with Lynne, I read about a challenge she was going to undertake over the holidays, The Holiday Health Nuts Challenge hosted by Ginesa at Destination: Athlete.


First, the name was a funny coincidence. Mr. P and I were doing our weekly shopping and I was browsing the cereal aisle and he said, "UM, isn't your cereal in the health nut section?" That made me giggle that any.thing about me might be considered 'health nut'. But alas, he was correct, my Kashi is, in fact, in the health nut section.


Second, even after my triumph of last week's journaling and subsequent 2 lb loss, this week was not stellar. I gained 4.6 lbs. I am not convinced it is due to an excess of 16,100 calories in over calories out (3500*4.6) but the scale displayed what it displayed. TECHNICALLY, I probably didn't go too far over in points, however, more days than not had one giant meal and then a few snacks...veggies? HA. fruit? I scoff at thee. Water? Only in the form of beer and soda.


But back to the challenge...this Health Nut challenge is more than weight-loss. I did set a weight-loss goal to get my Fat Test to 80% by December 28 which is the last day of the challenge and my one year anniversary of Healthy, Healthy, Healthy. This morning I was at 84.89%. I don't normally like to set poundage goals because, well, let's face it, human bodies are weird and controlled by human brains, even weirder. But, that is part of it. The other part is choosing two other goals such as 80oz of water intake, journalling EVERY.bite, exercising, etc. At first I was going to choose two I already do fairly consistently and well, but then realized that really isn't the point. So I chose:



80 oz of WATER per day.

Journalling EVERY.bite.



And away we go....

Official Holiday Kickoff

I love everything Thanksgiving/Christmas. I used to be able to keep my shiznit together and hold off on Christmas until after Thanksgiving, but then a few years ago I succumbed to 'mall' mentality and now as soon as the spiderwebs come down from Halloween, I start gearing up for Christmas. I have already bought 3 new ornaments and am beginning to plan my gingerbread masterpiece of 2009...maybe it will be better than 2008?

Anyway, the holiday season kicked off to a grand start when we DOMINATED the costume contest and our town's Halloween Block Party and Trick or Treating.

While Mr. P's idea of having clear shower curtains serve as our 'shakers' was a good one...it didn't translate that well in pictures. Steve was taking the picture, but you can see his costume over at Penny's place. We won a stellar gift bag that included a water bottle, a $5 off pizza coupon, and giant eyeball bath fizzies. SCORE.

Oh, and again this year I have decided to do NaBloPoMo...wish me luck!

I kinda knew, but they yet again confirmed...

My kids are awesome people. They are smart, funny, and beyond sweet to their 3-year old cousin. The way they treat him makes me feel like I did a decent job as a parent, something I question quite often, because I know that Mr. P and I butchered a LOT of things.

Eli (Penny's son) wanted to be Blue for Halloween (from Blue's Clues), so we jumped on board and will have Blue, Magenta, Steve, Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper, Paprika and Mailbox. We MADE all the costumes. MADE them. Just wait until you see the pictures...we are going to be awesome.

Anyway, College Kid, Penny and my mom came over for a bit this afternoon and we finished up the "shakers", and then I logged into Facebook for some quick farming, and I came across this video:



This is my 18 year old, college freshman, making his Mailbox costume so that he could participate in family trick or treating this evening. In public. Downtown. College Kid will be there too in all her Paprika splendor.

I wouldn't have done this for my cousins. I barely would have done it for my kids. But here are my kids freely and happily doing it for their cousin.

Yup, Mr. P and I did something right, even if it were purely genetic and/or accidental!

Happy Halloween!

I would walk 500 miles

actually I take that back...I DID walk 500 miles since December 28! Check out my Nike+ girlie girl!

To commemorate I wanted to post the Proclaimers video, but bastards are all copyrighty and not letting me embed, so instead enjoy Marshall and Ted enjoy the song:

*alert* I figured IT out *alert*

Okay, so, if you are on WeightWatchers and you track your points, and stay within your points and exercise...guess what happens?

You lose weight! For the first time in, I don't know, EVER how long, I tracked and stayed within my points, and ta da...lost 2 lbs this week!

It certainly doesn't hurt that I am earning boocoodles of Activity Points, as my 10K training has me jogging 5+ miles twice per week (which earns me about 10 activity points a shot as I am SUPER SLOW), and then a couple of short runs (HA HA, I now consider 2-3 miles SHORT) that get me from 3-5 points each. I am now less than 2 weeks from 10K day (November 7), and if nothing breaks, strains or sprains I am confident I will be able to jog the entire distance. WHOOP.

Yesterday the entire family headed out to the Pumpkin farm (it was such a fun day I am not going to dwell on the fact that my mom wore Halloween socks under WEDGE HEELS on a day out to the farm) and it was FUN.

We did a corn maze (where we called bullshit on Penny getting a kid to mark her paper instead of finding her own clues though she claims ingeniousness), jumped in a jumpy house, petted baby cows, took a million pictures,played in big boxes of corn (a la sandboxes), took a hayride to pick out a pumpkin, got dragged behind a tractor in barrels on wheels that were decorated like cows, climbed on hay bales, tried to hula hoop and raced rubber ducks.

Note the purple? Those were all things I was willing AND able to do this year, that I wasn't even willing to TRY last year. It was the first time in awhile that I really felt like this healthy, healthy, healthy journey has definite rewards (last time, was the first boating of the year when I could easily climb up the boat ladder from the water)...yes, better clothes are great. compliments are great.

But jumping in that jumpy house yesterday? That feeling was indescribable. I sit here smiling just thinking about it.

Saturdays as they were meant to be...

I am LOVING today.

Mr. P and I got up early and completed a 5K trail run. I have never really done a trail run, let alone a timed trail run. It was fun, but sort of sad because I didn't get to enjoy any of the scenery, I could only look down, look down, look down and try not to trip over tree roots or roll my ankles on rocks. I had to grin because as I came around the final corner I could see Mr. P checking me out for dirt...he admitted it awhile later. My time was a little over 42 minutes, and I was sort of disappointed because I thought I might beat my old time, but then Mr. P told me he was 5 minutes off his normal pace, so that made me feel a bit better.

Then we went to the grocery store to pick up fresh jalapenos for the TRIPLE batch of chili we just made...it took 2 hours just to get it to simmer, but it is SO SO SO worth it in the end. It is NOT point friendly, but considering this is the first Saturday in probably 6 months that I still have weeklies, plus all my activity points, I don't.even.care.

We also went and picked up supplies for our Halloween costumes, Mr. P and I are going to try to replicate these dudes (we have purchased hula hoops, clear shower curtains, duct tape and silver spray paint):

I just popped in some jalapeno-cheese corn bread and have caught up on some farming while we snuggle on the couch and watch football. I think after some chili and corn bread I will be having a nap, then out tonight with friends to watch our game.

THEN, if that wasn't good enough, last night we had dinner with the family, then browsed the mall a bit where I got Mr. P this ornament

and then we went on a movie date to Couples Retreat. Plus, tomorrow, we are going to the same pumpkin farm as last year and then working on pumpkins and costumes tomorrow afternoon. (I think I might spray paint my pumpkin silver.)

Interestingly (to me) when I was looking back for the post about the pumpkin farm from last year, I read the few posts around it, and I made chili the same weekend. We are definitely suckers for tradition!

She better not unpack

Fuck alert. I am pissed.

because I am going to call a moving company and pay them WHATEVER amount of money they want to come put all her shit in a truck, her too, and just drive and drive and drive then shove everything out on the sidewalk in the middle of fucking nowhere.

I call my mother a few minutes ago to see if all her stuff got delivered, she responds, in my opinion, very snottily, "YES, at 8 o'clock this morning." I assume she is pissed that I haven't called or been there since then. Maybe it is just my own guilt thinking maybe I should have gone over there (I just read my sister's post for today and she did). But my mother has SO MUCH SHIT, and her apartment is NOT THAT BIG, and she smokes incessantly so what the fuck am I going to do but try not to get lung cancer and tacky disease? (As an example of how much she smokes, when we were getting in the truck to take her home last night, she lit a cigarette as she waited for me....to get.in.the.front.seat.and.close.the.door, took drags while we sat there, then got in the truck.)

Then she tells me how she broke a piece of her furniture moving it, and it was 39 years old, so it is "going to live out on her patio for awhile, maybe it can be fixed". Again, I am taking it like she is saying, if my horrible kid had been here to move it for me it wouldn't have happened.

All of this I may have been able to wrap up into my own little guilt burrito that I would have for breakfast tomorrow and go over and help her until....

"So, are you still at home?" To which I answer that I was. Then she said, "Did you do your work?"

fuck you. Don't you ever question my work ethic. Not ever. See, my mother does NOT have a work ethic, but her pretend work ethic is what allowed her to put the nail in the coffin of our family 15 years ago (she used work as a cover for an affair) and was an excuse for not having to parent my then 13 year old sister anymore. Also, since then she has lost several jobs for not showing up because she chooses instead to drink wine at 6am.

In case any of you are wondering? Yes, I have been working today, I am grading projects that are huge Access databases that are insanely boring, but I am forcing my way through them because I want to work on my research tomorrow afternoon while Mr. P plays golf .

However, have I also farmed on FaceBook, caught up on blogs, planned dinner, chosen my 1/2 marathon training plan, done laundry and dishes, caught up on FlashForward and Hell's Kitchen?

YES.

I am 40 fucking years old and I can stay at home all fucking day in my lobster pajama pants if I want to. DAMN it, I have worked very, very hard to get to the point that I can. I refuse to let her ruin it. This is my Thursday. This is how I spend most Thursday's. She better get fucking used to it.

Now that I have vented, I am going to put potatoes in for Mr. P. When he gets home I am going to make a big salad. Then we are going to have leftover pot roast served over baked potatoes and watch Survivor. We are NOT going to talk about my mother.

so my MOM moved here

last Friday. This move is not met with the same anticipation and joy like when my sister moved here. More like dread and despair and locusts (which weirdly, I originally typed as crocuses?) and bees and Armageddon.

I don't really care for my mother too much, and I am hoping that by her living here maybe I can start making some good memories that will help eradicate all the really bad memories I have of her. She is not helping me with that quite yet.

Now, I hate having to wait for people. Hate it. If we have a plan, do the plan. Don't start to get ready for the plan when I am starting the plan. Irony is, I was super late to my kid's birthday celebration on Sunday. Nearly TWO hours late. I felt like crap being late, but I was cooking for her, from scratch, and while I accounted for COOKING time, I forgot that it takes time to mix batter from scratch and to peel and mandolin 4lbs of potatoes. And prepare meatloaves. So I was late and I apologized, but I understand if everyone was irritated with me...they have every right, especially my sister and kids who had been waiting and were starving...but they were gracious...but MOM? she called me out, "So what happened to you being here at 3". Yeah, I JUST APOLOGIZED FOR THAT. (I didn't add that if she had come over to my house when she said she would to help me with the stuff she said she would I wouldn't have been late. But whatever.)

Anyways, so tonight we are going out for her birthday dinner. Guess where she picked to go? CiCi's Pizza, which is an inexpensive pizza buffet. Not my fave, but whatever, birthday people get to pick with no complaints from the peanut gallery. So she just called me at work to ask if Mr. P and I would pick her up on our way. Sure, whatever. I tell her we will be there a little after 6. So she says, "Okay, well call me on your way and I will get changed and cleaned up".

NO. I live FIVE minutes from her. Literally, less than 3 miles on a 55 mph road. Just get your freaking clothes changed and be ready by a little after 6...what the fuck is so hard to understand about that?

So while my life is infinitely good, I don't have the work angst at such a level anymore, I got to read this as Mr. P's FaceBook status last night after he cooked ME dinner, [Mr. P] is having a quiet dinner at home with his bride and watching some TV. I'm a lucky guy to have someone who loves me so much! and my kids are being my sweet, smart kids, I now have my mother. All the time my mother.

I lost 3.2...

OUNCES when I weighed in yesterday. Yup, .2lbs. I have an Excel spreadsheet that tracks my weight lost, percentage of starting weight lost (so I can report my Fat Test score, 83.94% by the way), fat%, and BMI. I was perusing it yesterday when I was inputting my new information, and I realized that I broke into my current weight decade on April 20. For all of you not so fast at date math, that was SIX MONTHS AGO.

I took 6 months to lose 10 pounds. What is interesting to me is that I have no desire to quit trying. I am okay if it goes at a snail's pace, because you know what? Snails eventually get where they are going. This is a brand new feeling...the last real concerted effort I made losing weight I ditched when I was stagnant for a month, when I was 20lbs lighter than I am right.now.

The difference? My goals. My motivation. I want to get HEALTHY so that I can do more things. I want to run races. Not RACE races, but RUN in races. 5K this Saturday, a 10K in November. 1/2 marathon in March. Marathon in 2012. I like to run. I love the way running makes me feel confident and athletic and even pretty. I want to start kayaking because that looks super fun and just another excuse to be in and around water. Plus Mr. P wants to kayak, and I don't like to be left behind!

All kinds of other stuff is going on, it is almost too overwhelming to write about all at once, so I need to break it up into manageable posts...but I leave you now to enjoy a super healthy dinner cooked for me by Mr. P and served to Biggest Loser. YUM.

Blog Action Day: Climate Change

Last year I participated in Blog Action day because the topic felt so REAL to me, poverty. Mr. P, the kiddos and I lived under the poverty line for several years and in many, many ways it was horrible. But last night, the College Kid asked me what my favorite years were. Interestingly, they are those same years, and the pain of sitting at the Food Stamp office, having our power turned off, and writing a bad check at Kmart for Christmas toys is starting to give way to the memories of starting our Christmas Dinner tradition, two tiny kids in life jackets in the apartment complex pool for hours on end, dollar movies, and studying at McDonald's so the kids could play and we could have free drink refills.

But that is not what today's topic is. Today's topic is Climate Change, which is interesting because I have been in the midst of my own climate change experiment ever since visiting the Museum of Natural History in NYC in August. I do not have a car. I have been bumming rides and riding the U's transit system. I am walking much more. I am burning less fossil fuels. I am reducing my carbon footprint.

I am miserable. I want a car for myself. I want to go back to playing tennis two mornings a week, without having to get up an hour earlier so I can walk to the tennis courts if I don't feel it. I want to be able to go get pedicures. But yesterday was the deal breaker...sorry climate change, I want a car. Yesterday morning I got up at 5am to run and it was pouring and dark. Couldn't go. BUT, if I had a car, I could have just gone to the gym. WHAT? I want a car so I spend time at the gym????? Yikes. I also want to be able to go to lunch at my favorite place and sneak off to matinees on weekdays. I want to be MOBILE. Yes, I could do all of these things with advanced planning and taking the FREE public transportation, but I want to live on a whim. Not very GREEN of me.

Even though I will be quitting my public transportation experiment after only two months plus whatever time it takes me to find a sufficiently sweet ride, Mr. P and I will continue to recycle. Mr. P will still follow me around and turn off lights and televisions that I am not using. Next summer we will do the same thing as this summer (we kept our A/C up TWO degrees from last year) and we will rarely turn the heat on the winter.

What are you doing to reduce your carbon footprint?

Was Spock right?

It is the middle of the night and you are on your way home and there is no traffic on the road. You get stopped at a redlight. You sit. You wait. The light is NOT changing, there are no other cars on the road. Do you run the red light?

The reason I ask is because Tuesday is my work at home and get caught up on grading, prepping for class, reading papers, laundry, dishes, vacuuming, regaining sanity from the weekend day. And as part of the day I catch up on DVR, and on today's menu is 3 weeks worth of House. If you haven't watched and are going to...SPOILER ALERT!!! Click away from the blog.

A dictator in the midst of horrific genocide is dying. If you are his doctor, do you work your ass off to save him, knowing he will go back to his country and complete his mission? Or do you perform substandardly and let him die? Or do you mislead others and more or less kill him yourself?

There is a theory of moral development that suggests that a person with a lessor developed morality would sit at the red light and work their asses off to save the dictator. Without a more developed moral compass, people act to avoid punishment. Interestingly, this same theory states that the MOST morally developed would run the red light and kill the dictator.

How developed are you?

I wouldn't run the light.

Maybe even more telling, while I might WANT to do it, I wouldn't kill the dictator because I wouldn't want to go to jail.

What would you do in those situations?

Was Spock right, do the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one?