You've got what I need.

I like that I can stock up on all the necessities on one aisle.

Should I stay or should I go now?

I am struggling. Struggling with my eating. Struggling with getting my exercise. Struggling with Mr. P's disdain for his job. Struggling with my own disappointment in how my job is going. UGH. The horrible part of my struggling is that my life is actually really, really good. I have everything I need and most of what I want.

I love the town where I live. It is a college town. It is OUR college town. I have friends here. My whole (just about) family lives here. I am settled in at my job. I make good money.

HOWEVER, there is an opportunity. The one school I said I MIGHT be willing to leave my school for. It is in bigger city that we love. It is ON water (as opposed to 4 hours away). The school would appreciate my work and give me many opportunities to really further my career. The pay increase would give Mr. P the opportunity to peruse his options.

I would have to give up tenure. I would be leaving a KNOWN for an UNKNOWN. My kids live here. My sister lives here. My nephew(s) live here. If I wanted, I could basically go through the rest of my career collecting my check and teaching two classes a semester.

I don't know. I just.don't.know. Believe me I know that I am trying to figure out if I want to give up my good life for a different good life. I know I am lucky to get to make this type of decision, but damn I am struggling with it.

Is recycling just my religion?

One of my old coworkers (a coworker from a long time ago, not a coworker that is OLD) has arthritis, and once a month has to see her rheumatologist (I think that is the right word...arthritis doctor) and everytime she has an appointment she makes some comment on Facebook about how she is going to visit her favorite Muslim and she hopes she has a "divine" meeting. Someone asked her to explain, and she made some comment about getting him to see the way, or something equally obnoxious about making her doctor love Jesus. I remember once her and I having a conversation that it was my duty as a wife to serve Mr. P. I think I laughed right out loud. ANYWAY, her most recent visit is today, and just as I was about to DeFriend her, I got thinking about something I did to my friend on Friday night.

Friday night we went to a friend's house to play poker and we were having some snacks and beers. After I finished a beer, I asked him where to put the can. He said in the black container at the end of the counter. It was the trash can. I was really shocked. I said in a very loud super judgey voice, "YOU DON'T RECYCLE???" and he said, "No, I don't really care about the Earth...I don't have kids to leave it to anyway." Then, Mr. P, me and another friend harrassed him for 10 minutes about how easy it is to recycle and how he should and on and on and on. We were kind of relentless until he caved and said he would start.

Did I do the same thing to my friend about recycling that my co-worker is trying to do to her doctor...just swapping Mother Earth for Brother Jesus?

Grieving for my family of four

Last summer when our children seemed to take a VERY long time to gain employment, Mr. P and I discussed our financial culpibility with respect to their lack of sticktoitedness. I remember being very financially stressed for most of my adult life, and I really, really wanted to spare them that particular stress so they could concentrate on school. I didn't pay for everything, because I think working is important---we left them to pay for their electricity and cable and food and $140 each for their rent, and I would pay the remainder ($200 of their rent, car insurance, car repairs, cell phones, medical stuff). We made this deal when they both had full scholarships and were getting about half again their tuition refunded to them for expenses.

Over time, they lost those scholarships due to lack of attending their classes (from what I gather). Mr. P and I downsized significantly so that we could absorb more of their finances...granted we were ready to move, but I was too chicken to buy a house in case the kids needed money. It became the norm that I paid all the rent for both of them every month without a word from either one...no "is there work I can do for you" or "thank you so much for covering us" no nothing, and I kept paying it. And in restrospect, I shouldn't have allowed that to go on for so long.

Now I am grieving for the life I wanted them to have. I wanted them to leave college with a great undergrad and no debt, with some financial stress to learn the value of a dollar, but not enough that they lay awake at night trying to figure out what to sell on Ebay to keep the power on. That life is gone. Mr. P and I did the best we could, and apparently we just didn't get the job done, and unfortunately that means my kids are starting their adult lives without the solid base of education that I would have preferred.

As of March 1, 2011 I am no longer paying any bills for my kids. That was a VERY hard decision to come to and after I told them last night I cried. CRIED hard, first reaction to grieving, right? Well denial is likely first, which is what I did for a long time when I just paid for stuff regardless of their school progress.

So they have 2 months (really 3, since I will pay bills on March 1) to figure out their finances and get employment at a level that will support their spending habits. I have two months (really 3) to let go of being a parent to a child and instead become a parent to an adult. And while I think both kids really want that, I think we are all going to struggle with how that changes the family dynamic.

BYE "Family of Four". We had a great run.

Now we are a family of TWO with two adult children.

It is time.

So, I think NABLOPOMO is officially a fail, no?

Considering my last post in November was the 12th.

Things have been, to say the least, hectic. OH MY BLOGGY HELL. I just typed a whole paragraph about why things have been so hectic, and I was re-reading it, and fucking hit some button and it was GONE. As I was saying. I still haven't finished all my grading for my fall course. I graded twenty exams today, and have one project left for tomorrow. SHEW.

Also today I have done 732 loads of laundry, including all the bedding in my house. My children have been staying here for a couple of weeks while I have been away, and apparently they go to bed with their shoes on and let the duvets drag all over the floor...both white duvets were FULL of dog hair and floor dirt. SUPER YUCK. They also apparently each use 14 blankets a night, each of which were left on the floor at some point. I was SO aggravated, but the goal of them staying here is that my dog is okay and not fretting over being alone, and he seems good, so mission accomplished.

On the subject of my very messy children, I am trying not to be very upset with them and have a happy Christmas, but it is proving difficult. Our son quit going to classes in October, which results in all F's, and he lied about it until about 2 weeks ago when I caught him in a lie about finals. (HINT: When your Mom is a professor at the same University, don't try to lie about finals timing.) So he is not going to go to school at all. Our daughter lost her job in October, and still does not have a job. She also quit going to school in October, but has worked it all out, and is going back in January with a different major.

I know they are young, and have to find their own way, but I feel like we have completely failed. Both of our kids are very smart, funny and creative. BUT, I think they are a bit lazy and do not realize what effort real life takes...every.damn.day. We are about to have to take a major.stand. and the thought of it makes me so anxious I haven't slept longer than two hours in a row for weeks and weeks. So, in a nutshell, that is why I haven't been posting. I didn't want to put it out there because I am embarrassed that I did not instill better sticktoitedness (I am pretty sure that is a real world) in my kids.

We return to our regular angsty programming

We did a few things really right with our kids when they were growing up, but we have also done a few things really, really wrong.

We never taught our elder child how to deal with failure or criticisim, constructive or otherwise. As a result, when she gets any type of negative feedback she reacts so strongly that she turns little issues into huge issues, and huge issues into NON-issues because she retreats and doesn't deal with them at all.

There are a couple of instances that should have clued me in, there was this time she obviously had something in her mouth (which turned out to be a butterscotch) and she denied it to the point of hysterics. Another time, she had a cold Mountain Dew in her room, but denied taking it, to the point of slamming doors and more hystrionics. There are other instances, but honestly, reprimanding her wasn't something that had to happen much, as she really is a great kid...she did well in school, she was respectful to her teachers and coaches, and she was a good athlete. She excelled at most things, so there wasn't much room for "instruction" so to speak, but I should have realized earlier and worked on that with her, but I was lazy and just ignored it for the most part.

But now, she is at a point in her life where she is not handling herself or her responsibilities very well, and I feel helpless. Trying to talk to her is very difficult because she is so very defensive and quickly blames me or her brain chemistry for her decisions or lack there of.

I now am forced to wait and see what she does with herself. It makes me sad that she is sad, but it makes me annoyed that in order for her to do the things that she is supposed to do needs to be happy. We all have crappy stuff, and we have to work through it. From what I know, she is not in school. She is not working. I am not sure how she is spending her days. In response, I turned off her cell phone and the car insurance. I am still paying her rent because I am the guarantor.

It sucks.

Wordless Wednesday, but with words

I am going to try the every other day approach so I don't completely scare everyone off. Yesterday I shared with how I am kind of dead inside, SO today I will share some pictures I have taken with my phone over the last couple of weeks.

First, the Poltergeist doppelganger lady that was spotted at our favorite pizza place.

Next, a claw game where you can pay $2.00 to grab a lobster that you can then have cooked for free. Penny was not amused by this.

We went to Orange Beach, Alabama and this was the view I had on my morning walk. It really helped get me centered so I could get to dead inside as opposed to raging to the point of boiling my innards. (oh, is that still a bit dark?....okay, I will try to lighten up.)

Ahh, pretty....

Mr. P thought this guy was SO cool, so we had to have his picture taken with this guy. (9-0, baby. Football has been FUN this year.)

At the same restaurant with the claw game, this tiny guy was hiding out by the trash can. (It is a tiny crab.) In deference to the bizarre issues with shellfish, we stuck to burgers and fries.

Since our move, we walk downtown for pizza/beers, work, yogurt, what have you a couple nights a week. We pass this tree everytime and we always wonder...."What the...."

Have you seen anything interesting lately?

OH, and Sabra Supremely Spicy Hummus and pretzels? ADDICTING....so I call bullshit on TEN servings in the container. I think it is more like 2.

Well, we gotta start somewhere

so I will start with how I am taking my MOTHER on a 5 day cruise in a month. Well, a month and two days. So in a month and four days, will somebody please come get me out of the Mexican prison where I most certainly will be residing?

Here is how it happened. A friend of ours wanted a bunch of people to go on a cruise for his birthday, but Mr. P can't go because of his new job...we will be going on a longer (better) cruise the following week. But I could go, because I will be done with the semester by then. Then Mr. P told me he would likely be out of town working those days, so I should think about going. I first considered taking my elder child as one of her good friends is going, but she SHOULD have finals (note how I said SHOULD---we will get back to that later), and I am not taking someone on a cruise during finals when the reason they do not have finals is not cruise reward appropriate (in my opinion).

It was the day before my mother's birthday, and I am not sure if I told you guys this, but my mom was kind of annoyed that we went on a cruise on Mother's Day and didn't invite her to come with Mr. P and I to the Bahamas....because she so wants to go on a cruise.

SO, back to the day before her birthday, I texted Penny and few times, and we decided we would give her the cruise for birthday/Christmas. So we did at her birthday dinner. She was extremely excited and very grateful, and that makes me feel good. But I am not sure good enough because I am sort of dreading it. I kind of feel like like I shouldn't have to see or talk to her in the mean time since I will have 5 solid days of all mom, all the time.

I think right now I wish that Mr. P and I lived far away and we could have Facebook and text relationships with everyone. I suck at family and friends normally, but lately? I am completely checking out. It is almost like I don't have the piece of my brain that "misses" people or feels sad when I don't see them all the time.

Well, I guess that is a start.

From once a month, to once a day? Really?

Today is the start of NaBloPoMo or some such combination of letters, and I have done this once a day posting for November quite successfully the last two years. Then, I decided about a week ago that I wanted to do it again this year, to reconnect with some people that I have missed and to reconnect with myself in my own mind.

---I am struggling with a few things.



Then stuff blew up and while I want to write it out, I have to decide if it is something I am comfortable sharing...I probably should wait until I am less upset, because right now the title of my blog post is, "Raising Asshats For Dummies" and I am pretty sure that is not the sentiment I want lingering on the Interwebs for all eternity because while I feel like there is some asshatty behavior going on right now, they are no actual asshats, per se.



And then finally, to maybe start being accountable again to myself about my healthy (or lack thereof) habits.



So here it is...I am throwing my hat into the ring for November 2010...we will see how it goes.

mother lover

I couldn't think of a title for this post except for mother fucker, and maybe that is even less appropriate than even I deem to be today. But now this title has me thinking about the SNL song and I am laughing about it because I know how much it makes my sister laugh, and now all my angst and annoyance aren't nearly as angsty or annoying so this post may be kind of boring.

So, last October my mom moved here under the guise of us working on our relationships, etc. Well, in many ways that really hasn't worked out that well because I am still really angry at her, and I think she just doesn't really want to have relationships with us because let's face it, relationships should be two-sided and I don't know that she has thought of another human in say....15 years. Plus, dudes. She is really, really weird. She wears a floor length fur coat made out of recycled tires when it is any temperature below 70. She smokes 80 cheap ass cigarettes a day and hacks like a merchant marine who has been snorting fiberglass for 30 years. She eats generic bologna as her only food group that isn't candy or Pop tarts and carries around bits of food in her pockets. Not in a baggie in her pocket, just plain old cookie right there in the pocket. (which is handy when you are 3 and want to feed the fish at the pond, so Eli doesn't completely mind.) When we have family events she can't stay where we all are and participate because that might cut in on her smoking time, so she hovers around and when she hears something that may intrigue her she yells, WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTT and right now my anger is back and I want to punch her right in her smoke hole.

Anyhow, in January she announces to us that she is moving back to the place where she used to live, to work at the job that she used to despise and live with her cat in a motel for 4 months. She is completely flabbergasted that we didn't find this a spectacular idea. Whatever. She goes.

She has called me twice in the entire time she has been gone...and that is when she needed Mr. P to go pick up her meds (thank the baby Jesus for pharmaceuticals or she would be even weirder) and then calls me every day checking in on how my doing her a favor is going until I have completed it to her satisfaction. The second time she started this cycle I told her I was annoyed that she only called me to ask for favors and she said, "Yeah, I knew you would be mad about that" and then proceeded to tell me how her cat is sad there is traffic in the parking lot of the motel. I just found out she might be coming back a week early and she said, "Don't change your plans," to which I said, "Yeah, I am not" and she got offended. But in fairness (to her), our conversations aren't that great, so maybe these snippets are why she doesn't call more often:

Mom: When I get back I am going to need a boat trip. (alluding to us taking her out on our boat.)
Me: Should be soon.
Mom: You know, since you are going to be saving all that money on the new house, you should use that to buy a bigger boat.
Me: NO, because mostly on the boat, it is going to be me and Mr. P. Alone. No one else.

******

Me: Yeah, we are going to put the boat at the marina because the driveway is pretty steep and Mr. P isn't sure our transom will tilt enough. (I am really not sure if those are the right words, but she wouldn't know either...)
Mom: So, you are going to have to park your car in the street?
Me: No, why would you think that?
Mom: Because if it is steep you will have to be in first gear. (my car is a stick shift)
Me: Yeah, but considering that I know how to drive my car, it won't be a problem.

******

So anyways, mom is coming home soon. Maybe even this weekend.

awesome.

******
P.S. To try to help counteract all this pissiness I just sprayed out on the interwebs, I am participating in Relay for Life, and I will even let you try to win some pants if you will donate $10. Full story here.

If I quit you, then maybe this is why...

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling

I am buying the poster for my office.

BUT, you don't have to worry about me telling you about how much I loose* each week, since I am GAINING weight. Yup, I am watching my weight go up. Not high up, but a little up, then I lose it, then a little up, then I lose it. I was SO cocky about how I well I would do in January and February that I asked for a large wicking shirt as my prize for THIS WEEKEND'S HALF MARATHON. I am on track to finish the whole thing whilst jogging (albeit, most people can probably walk faster than I jog after 11 miles).

My goal is to get an 'official' time, which means I have to finish in 3 hours. I did a trial half two weeks ago, and I was over by twelve minutes. (I didn't even lose weight THAT week.) However, I am assured that this course is pretty flat, and gorgeous, and I can use my iPod to keep me from holding my breath just so I don't have to listen to myself pant for 3 hours.


*I was just about to post this, and I wasn't COMPLETELY sure that you guys would know I was being facetious and that spelling makes me SO nuts that I decided to add this disclaimer.

when is enough really enough?

First off...let me just assure everyone that I did NOT go all shooty when I was denied tenure...as alas, I still.don't.know whether I got tenure. However I got word that the decisions have been made, letters printed and are awaiting signatures and 'hopefully' will go out tomorrow. They will come through campus mail and I should know Wednesday after lunch at the very latest. Hopefully. Hopefull.y.

Now that that is cleared up I have two big things that I want to tackle today, and a million little things I want to tell you about because stuff has happened, but let's get the big stuff done today so you can decide whether to block my IP address, or ban me to Reader purgatory, I completely understand if you choose either.

Here goes: I can't live without some of the blogs I read. BUT, there are some blogs that I definitely have to break up with. Some bloggers just, to be completely honest, annoy the fuck out of me, and for some convoluted reason I believed that if someone EVER commented on my blog I OWED them blog loyalty for now and ever more. I was finding that if I opened my Reader and certain people had blogged, I felt dread at reading those posts and then just wouldn't read any posts because I felt all guilty and angsty and blech. I know some people tag blogs at Good, Better and Best and read down as time permits, but I find if I have anything 'unread' I am anxious about that as well.

Here is what is stuck in my craw: I have read posts about what annoys people about blogs, Facebook and Twitter and frankly, I don't give a shit about what people put on Facebook or Twitter...I find the mundane chatter to be interesting. I don't mind knowing about your child's potty progress (chances are I want to know, that is why we are friends on Facebook), or what you are having for snacks on the train. Here is what gets me all upset and twisty: bloggers who don't know their place in the blog hierarchy or WORSE, want to be considered an expert in something whether it be weight loss or running or photography or mothering or beastiality or any combination of the above when they just are not. I don't want to be your fan on Facebook, I don't want to Twitter about your contest, or link to you on my blog unless I WANT TO...I just want to know what makes you tick and how you are and really, who annoyed the fuck out of you and why and what curse words you said (either out loud or in your mind) and maybe who you want to have fantasy sex with (this week I am into the Skipper of the Swedish curling team, YES, I know he is a tiny baby, but he is so pretty.) So that is where my head is at. Charming, no?

Plus, keep in mind that I am very NON-confrontational so don't ask me if you annoyed me, because chances are I will say, "NO, I love your blog" because either I do love your blog or I don't want to read your blog, but I don't want to tell you that I don't want to read your blog because I don't want to hurt your feelings even though I do think you are annoying as hell. I feel better and worse all at the same time. So, on to another issue that is very important to me:

How many t-shirts is the appropriate amount of t-shirts? I have not counted, but I probably have 50, which I know is TOO many. Mr. P says to keep 5, which I know is TOO few. What is the baby bear of t-shirts? AND, for the t-shirts that must depart my wardrobe, do I throw them away, or donate them? Seems weird to donate a t-shirt. But I totally will if that is appropriate.

I will smack you down with (PATH) words

There is a guy in my department that makes pies for everyone for Christmas. The first year, he sent me an email and asked when he could bring it by, but I am VERY weird about the presentability of my house and whether I could let a co-worker see it in a awful state of disarray, so I took awhile to respond at which point he apparently ate my pie. Then later he sent another email and by then my sister and her family were here and I didn't care to respond because I didn't want to have to try to schedule him coming by when my family was in and out and really? Family trumps work pie. Then he invited us to his house to watch the National Championship game, and I despise the team they were all rooting for, and to be frank, he is okay at work, but really quite full of himself, and I have people I COMPLETELY LIKE to hang around with outside of work. Then he invited us to his baby's birthday party which is quite nice, but just so happens it was when my sister was here a different time, and family trumps work baby party.

Then he spent a YEAR basically making a huge deal out of how much I "hate" him and "spite" him and all in fun and games, but really? I am sorry, but dude, it is WORK pie.

Then last year he brought my pie to work, he didn't invite me to do anything and all was good.

Then (when you are telling a story, do you put in "THEN" alot, because apparently I do) this year I got an email while on the cruise to which I replied, "Seriously, you are not going to believe me, but I am on a boat." Then we got home the 24th, spent the next 2 days with mom & family, then the 2 after that with dad & family to which we get to the 27th. Then I get news of my friend, we decide to go skiing, another friend was moving away (in the COMPLETELY LIKE category), so we got together for his going-away, and so last Monday was the first day I was ready for the general public.

So, last Monday I saw him in the copy room and he said "Hi" but wouldn't really look at me. I said, "Sorry, I just made it back" to which he replied:

"Don't hold your breath."

To which I immediately thought in my head, "Are you KIDDING ME? Like, I OWE him making free time to get a FUCKING WORK PIE that I CAN'T EVEN EAT?"

And, wait for it....THEN, yesterday I was on Facebook and saw that his wife posted pictures of a cake that my friend made for their kid's birthday. In the comments someone commented on how awesome the cake was and she posted, "I had a girl make it."

You HAD a GIRL make it?

That pushed my buttons. How condescending. You commissioned a fucking grown LADY architect to make you a gorgeous cake for way less than it is worth because she is MY FRIEND.

I mean, really, check this cake out:

So, you know what I did? Yesterday I saw on Facebook that her husband (the king of pie) was the leader in Path.words. I played. Guess who is in first place now?

TAKE IT.

nothing to see here

now that I have had a good night's sleep after a semi-nuclear breakdown yesterday. I am trying so hard to live in the NOW and be HAPPY and POSITIVE that it all became too much yesterday and it manifested in my passive aggressive tendencies towards Mr. P in a very bizarre way.

I registered for the 1/2 marathon yesterday. I registered for myself. NOT Mr. P.

Then when we were gathering stuff for our trip this weekend I told him, "Hey, if you are going to run that race, you need to register." He looked at me quite surprised. "You didn't register me?"

To which I replied, "Well, you aren't training at all, and it is in two months, so I wasn't sure if you are serious about it or not."

Yowza.

Then when we were watching some TV later and he said, "You really didn't register me?"

AND I am OFF.

When we take a trip, I make EVERY arrangement. I pick the hotel, make the reservations, rent the car (if need be), arrange for the dog, and every other detail that has to be taken care of. Mr. P has NEVER registered for a 5 or 10K himself. I do it. I pay every bill that we have with the exception of his student loan. I take care of health insurance, car insurance, all paperwork. And yesterday I was COMPLETELY over it. So, when it came time to register for the race, I selected to register for myself only.

I told him that I wanted him to start acknowledging all that I do. He just ASSumes that I will take care of it, but he never really asks or thanks me for it all. So I said if he would ask me to register him, I would. He wouldn't.

I am going to be very upset if he ends up not doing this race with me because while I believe I am RIGHT about his taking some initiative now and then, it is making me nauseous that maybe he won't remember or take the time to register.

Maturity reigns at Chez Potchery.

in TRAINING

I officially started my half marathon training today with a 4 mile run that I had to complete in the rain since that is all it has done here in days. and days. and days.

There is some stuff going on 'round Chez Potchery...nothing BAD in itself per se, but pile on a bunch of moderately troublesome stuff and it gets to feeling like a giant pile of shit. Anyway, that stuff has kept me from wanting to blog at all because I want to write about how I feel about the stuff that is going on, but really? They aren't my stories to really blog about in depth if that makes sense. Nothing is going on with ME, stuff is going on with other people that matter to ME.

Oh, but in stuff I can blog about? I took my kids car away. I am very conflicted over this. I feel guilty for taking the car, but relieved because now I can get some stuff done that I have needed to do. When I see grades for this semester I will reevaluate my position.

In Challenge news? I stayed the same weight this week, which is a good thing. I did not log my food. boo. I did not drink 80 oz of water. double boo. There was an additional challenge to try something new...so when I roasted veggies the other night I included brussel sprouts and got everyone to try them (me, Mr. P, CK and CK2). We all agreed that the first one or two are cool, but then they get over-powering. Not sure they will get moved into our permanent repetoire.

I hope to shake these blahs soon, because I sure do miss the blogoshere!

Best ADVENT calendar EVA

If you haven't been around these here parts long, then you don't know how I feel about the season of Advent from a gift perspective. I like, no LOVE getting a tiny gift each day, or different gifts leading up to Christmas. I am very gifty. It doesn't have to be much, I just love the thrill of opening presents here and there as opposed to all at once.

A few years ago Mr. P got this whole thing started by having the 12 Days of Christmas for me where I got a teensie tinsie ornament from Hallmark every day for 12 days to go on cutie picture frames. He did this for two years.

The next year, I got a Peyton Manning themed Advent which included a Peyton ornament, Colts stocking, a KICK.ASS official 18 Jersey, a Peyton Manning rookie football card and a subscription to Sports Illustrated. No daily prize, but here and there. It worked for me. (no duh, right?)

The next two years I did Advent for Mr. P. Both times I got him Lego Advent Calendars, the first I got at the Lego store at Disney, and because he dug it so much, last year I ordered Playmobil, Lego and Littlest Pet Shop calendars for all of us. Then.it.happened.

Long story short, Mr. P didn't do anything for me for Advent and my feelings were crushed. THEN he had the gall to complain when he got an ice cream stand as his prize. (I personally liked the Lego prisoner, complete with handcuffs as one of his prizes, what? You don't see the Christmas in that?) Anyway, I got completely defensive and told him it was all him next year. I expected a season of Advent from him next year, which coincidentally is right.now.



I was sure he hadn't done it and had no plans for it. I even sort of called him out. (Yeah, I am a spectacular human being.) I got home today and on the mantle there was a prize, wrapped, for me. It was this:

For those not from around here, this is an artistic rendering of the iconic building of our University. Cool, no?

You know what is cooler? Mr. P made it for me. MADE it. That is his theme for this year, he is making me stuff. I am so excited. I made a comment to him that he should have saved this one for later, because it rocks so hard it would be hard to beat it. He laughed and said, "OH NO, it won't be. Just wait."

He knows me better than that. I CAN'T.

SEVEN!

Yesterday afternoon I got so freaking pissed slightly annoyed at Mr. P's general crabbiness. I decided that I needed a little break from him and the house and where just one year ago I would have grabbed my book and gone to Moe's for nachos to give us time to chill the fuck out, I threw on my running gear and went for a little, teensie, tiny SEVEN mile run. During the first mile I was sure that a kickass divorce lawyer was surely the answer to our problems as Mr. P snapped at me for a Diet Coke can sitting by the sink instead of being in the recycling (and the can wasn't.even.mine and I had spent all morning doing all.his.laundry) and because we, wait for it, didn't even have an egg. But, after a few miles, I decided maybe just cutting him a little bit of slack because we did have a bunch of family stuff this week, his work is very stressful right now and he is really trying to cut back on smoking was probably a better idea.


When I returned , Mr. P and I made nice and then he went and gathered some Panera for dinner. Then we watched Four Christmases. Funny thing is that Dad and the girlfriend watched it Saturday night and said it was pretty bad and that it was just.too.weird. Ironically one of the Christmases is where the dude's MOM is with his friend from HIGH SCHOOL and of course, the dude is highly freaked.out. Mr. P and I just looked at each other and laughed...because right before they left yesterday (Dad and the girlfriend) they told me anytime that I thought our family was bad, I should watch this because it was WAY worse, and really? Seemed sort of exactly the same to me.


With the GINOURMOUS run yesterday, I elected to just do a 30 minute walk this morning at the break of dawn, and then I weighed in. EXACTLY the same as last week which I consider to be pretty victorious. So that means I am sitting at a Fat Test score of 84.53%.

I attribute much of that to the running of 12.5 miles over the last two days, because I really, truly did not watch what I ate at.all. Then this morning I was a bit rushed and ate Chick Fil A for breakfast instead of my yogurt, fruit, cereal combo. A biscuit and hash browns. SEVENTEEN POINTS. what the hell???? But I did journal it, and will eat a sensible lunch and dinner and try to get my exact same ass back in gear because getting to 80% in a month, this particular month, is going to actually require me to work.at.it.

sigh of RELIEF

Today I gave my last lecture of this semester. We have next week off for Thanksgiving, then I gave them a week off to make up for evening exams and the last day of class the students will present their final projects. shew. I am even, for just this second, caught up on grading. SHAZAM.

Now I have THREE researchy things due on December 1. One grant proposal, one conference submission (yes, I want to go to San Fransisco in August for freebie), and one paper has to get back to a journal. Once I get through those deadlines and get the final projects graded I am free as a bird until we start back in January. This will be the first real break I have taken in 10 years. No research. No class prep. Only gingerbread house making, craft doings, movie watching, and other fun stuff for a month. I am PSYCHED!!!

In regular news, I am a tad bit under the weather and every day that goes by that I don't run I am worried when I start back it will be like day one of the Couch to 5K (I ran 3 miles on Monday)...do any of you ever feel like that? I have been good on the food journaling front, and decent with water (but that will be a fail this week too, because yesterday I thought that homemade Diet Cherry Limeades would make me feel so much better than water. I was right.).

And apparently my mom dyed her hair BLACK today. Yikes. However, I think it might be better because I was telling Penny that I think she looks really weird sometimes because her hair is the same color as her face (kind of an orangey tan look?).

(I have been very parenthetical on this post.)

Friday Hotch Potch

I haven't done one of these in awhile, but working within my own rules and standards for NaBloPoMo, I really don't have anything that is completely post worthy on its own, so here is what I got:

• For you runner/jogger/walker types: when you are between training cycles, what is your running/jogging/walking routine? The 1/2 marathon training program I want to do (from the Nike + site) starts on December 15 and I need to get my long run up to 8 miles by then, but I am used to looking at a schedule for my mileage. I took off Monday and Tuesday, ran 3 on Wednesday and 4 yesterday. Thoughts, suggestions, links to other training programs that you like??? HELP ME. HELP ME.
• I have an excited stomach because Mr. P is on his way home and we are going out to lunch and then to see 2012. We love the distaster movies. The more over the top, the more unrealistic, the more buildings and monuments and HOLLYWOOD signs toppling over, the better! Mr. P called me at work a few months ago to direct me to the trailer. We talked about going out of town this weekend, but then didn't because the movie starts.
• Just writing that blurb about us not going out of town this weekend made me realize that I think my office neighbor is getting married tomorrow. Guess we weren't invited. Can't decide if I am relieved or hurt.
• During the all day rain fest of Ida my office got flooded. It is wet and smelly. I have worked at home since. I use the term work very loosely because I found a blog about a polyamorous relationship that is fascinating me and I just keep reading, reading and backreading it some more.
• After last week's success at journaling every bite and getting close on drinking all the water for the Holiday Health Nut Challenge I have not done either. at all. all week. I haven't made bad choices necessarily, but I am making a lot of CHOICES if you get my drift. Notice how I slide that news right into a little bullet point?
• On Wednesday night driving my mom was chatting about stuff she bought for the apartment which happen to include all kinds of stuff we all like, Diet Dr. Pepper, a puzzle, Scrabble, stuff to bake cookies, etc. As she walked into her apartment I looked at Mr. P and said, "Okay. I am done being mad at her now." And I think that I am. I am still snotty to her out of habit, but am trying to check that a bit better. I jogged to her house yesterday to visit a bit, and Mr. P went there for coffee before work this morning. But don't fret, she will still be ridiculous!

Hotch Potchery, OUT!

It's a miracle!

Tonight is another edition of 'Dinner and a Show'. We will be attending the community theater production of "Miracle Worker", which for those of you who aren't up on your Alabamians, it is the story of Helen Keller and her teacher, Anne Sullivan.

But we aren't that interested in Helen Keller or Anne Sullivan...we are attending because we adore JAMES Keller. Why, oh, why do we have our hearts set on James? ahhh, because CK2 is playing James!! This is his first "adult" theater experience, I am really excited to see it even though I am not convinced that it is a story I am that interested in...I know, right? I kinda suck. We also get to feel very fancy and go to the window and get our comped tickets...all the stars get those and can "leave them at the window". Awesome.

On the subject of CK2 I had to play the pissed off mom card on him yesterday...I read a letter from his Dean that CK2 had not written a thank you for his scholarship, and the Dean had asked him 3 times already. I was NOT pleased. And CK2 got a text, voicemail and FB message instructing him to write.the.damn.letter. Dude, it is a $2,000 letter...just write the fucking thing already.


I wholeheartedly agree that my ingrate child should definitely thank the person who provided him that scholarship and also should have done it when the Dean first requested him to do so (hence the angry mother voice mail)...but the letter? I think it was completely inappropriate in verbiage and tone. I don't believe that that a Dean should ever threaten a kid "...if you intend to keep your scholarship", or write things like, "if I were the benefactor I would question why someone was so ungrateful and question whether you were a wise investment. Certainly there are other students who would be much more grateful ."

Maybe that is why there is a search for a new Dean in that school.

OR, am I just being one of "those" Mom's ?