Off the grid

I'm sending this is in from my phone as Mr. P bullshits with a salty dog at a fun little bar at the beach. We ran a bridge today---there were so many pelicans and, get this---butterflies!

We then went for endless crab legs, miniature golf, and watching the sunset at the pier.

Anytime we spend a weekend at the beach, I think we will never top it....then we always do.

Cheers!

Sent from my iPhone

Research Support

So far, my research summer support has paid for the following accomplishments:

• I have watched every episode of The Office.

I never watched it originally because it made me SO uncomfortable. I get embarrassed by characters on television. I have to turn away or change the channel. I watched on HULU and when I needed a break, I would switch to something less stressful for me, like Law & Order: SVU.

• I have mastered all crops (except for one) on Farmville.


• I have committed to THREE new research projects.


• I have committed to teaching an extra course this Fall, which needs to get prepped.


• I have spent 18 days at the beach.


• I have seen: Super 8 (Twice. I loved it.), Hangover 2, Bad Teacher, Horrible Bosses, Transformers 3.


• I got all the way through Couch to 5K week 7, then regressed back to week 4. I wanted to run a half in November, not looking that good.

Now the time is starting to get REALZ. I have 5 weeks until my Fall semester starts and I will be teaching two master's courses (same course, two sections) and a freshman course. In the mean time, we are going to Texas for 6 days and Denver for 5 days. Plus I will certainly spend a good deal of time celebrating my birthday and I am going to Biloxi to see Kathy Griffin. I still need to get significant work done on some research, but instead of working on that tonight, I decided it would be MUCH better to bake this cake and watch Toddlers and Tiaras on Netflix.

Looks like I will be teaching every summer from here on out since I took this summer way more OFF than I really should have. DAMN.

Hotel sex is totally worth $12

I love hotels. I mean, I really, ridiculously love hotels. One of my favorite things about my job is that twice a year I get to go to really nice hotels courtesy of my school to attend conferences. I am in such a hotel right now. The Intercontinental Hotel in Atlanta. Here is my room (it was better before I junked it up with all my stuff, but I got here early to work, then I went to a reception and had THREE free Michelob Ultras so I am not cleaning up for pictures):




Here is the bathroom. I am totally have a bubble bath in that sucker tomorrow after my run. BOO.YAH.

But my favorite part of nice hotels? THE MINI BAR. I rarely get anything out of it, I just love knowing that I can. I get per diem when I am away, and I usually don't even come close to spending it, so if I want a $3 bag of M&M's then I am going to get them. (Last year I got a glass bear fully of horrid gummy bears for $9. Totally worth it.) This hotel offers a little something extra in the mini-bar that I have never seen before.....

BWAH HA HA...$12 for an "Intimacy Kit"? I totally want to know what you get for $12, because Mr. P is joining me tomorrow...wink wink. Sadly though, I can't find where the kit is...and there is no way I am asking about it.

So my slides are just about done, I am a little drunk, and I am waiting for my ROOM SERVICE club sandwich and mixed greens. Today, I love my job.

P.S. Texas Caviar is chopped onion, chopped peppers (whatever color(s) you want), chopped jalapeno, chopped habanero (only for the very brave), chopped cucumber, cans of black beans, black eyed peas, white corn and yellow corn (all drained). Salt, pepper and italian dressing. Easy peasy and delicious.

Wordless Wednesday, but with words

I am going to try the every other day approach so I don't completely scare everyone off. Yesterday I shared with how I am kind of dead inside, SO today I will share some pictures I have taken with my phone over the last couple of weeks.

First, the Poltergeist doppelganger lady that was spotted at our favorite pizza place.

Next, a claw game where you can pay $2.00 to grab a lobster that you can then have cooked for free. Penny was not amused by this.

We went to Orange Beach, Alabama and this was the view I had on my morning walk. It really helped get me centered so I could get to dead inside as opposed to raging to the point of boiling my innards. (oh, is that still a bit dark?....okay, I will try to lighten up.)

Ahh, pretty....

Mr. P thought this guy was SO cool, so we had to have his picture taken with this guy. (9-0, baby. Football has been FUN this year.)

At the same restaurant with the claw game, this tiny guy was hiding out by the trash can. (It is a tiny crab.) In deference to the bizarre issues with shellfish, we stuck to burgers and fries.

Since our move, we walk downtown for pizza/beers, work, yogurt, what have you a couple nights a week. We pass this tree everytime and we always wonder...."What the...."

Have you seen anything interesting lately?

OH, and Sabra Supremely Spicy Hummus and pretzels? ADDICTING....so I call bullshit on TEN servings in the container. I think it is more like 2.

Well, we gotta start somewhere

so I will start with how I am taking my MOTHER on a 5 day cruise in a month. Well, a month and two days. So in a month and four days, will somebody please come get me out of the Mexican prison where I most certainly will be residing?

Here is how it happened. A friend of ours wanted a bunch of people to go on a cruise for his birthday, but Mr. P can't go because of his new job...we will be going on a longer (better) cruise the following week. But I could go, because I will be done with the semester by then. Then Mr. P told me he would likely be out of town working those days, so I should think about going. I first considered taking my elder child as one of her good friends is going, but she SHOULD have finals (note how I said SHOULD---we will get back to that later), and I am not taking someone on a cruise during finals when the reason they do not have finals is not cruise reward appropriate (in my opinion).

It was the day before my mother's birthday, and I am not sure if I told you guys this, but my mom was kind of annoyed that we went on a cruise on Mother's Day and didn't invite her to come with Mr. P and I to the Bahamas....because she so wants to go on a cruise.

SO, back to the day before her birthday, I texted Penny and few times, and we decided we would give her the cruise for birthday/Christmas. So we did at her birthday dinner. She was extremely excited and very grateful, and that makes me feel good. But I am not sure good enough because I am sort of dreading it. I kind of feel like like I shouldn't have to see or talk to her in the mean time since I will have 5 solid days of all mom, all the time.

I think right now I wish that Mr. P and I lived far away and we could have Facebook and text relationships with everyone. I suck at family and friends normally, but lately? I am completely checking out. It is almost like I don't have the piece of my brain that "misses" people or feels sad when I don't see them all the time.

Well, I guess that is a start.

I got a major slump going on up in here

So, last I left you, Mr. P had been laid off and we were headed out for my birthday weekend. Let's see, since then:

• I turned 41. Mr. P threw me TWO birthday parties. One drinky party and one family party. My mom pitched a fit that she was not invited to the drinky party.
• We moved out of tiny apartment into tiny house. The house is tiny. Tiny. t.i.n.y. I got bummed out at the tinyness and the crampedness and quit unpacking about a day in. I am still not moved in nearly 6 weeks later.
• I kept Eli for a weekend. Wow. 4 is tough.
• Went away with my highschool girlfriends for a weekend. Awesome. Laughter. Hugs.
• Joined a new gym and got a personal trainer. Quit running. Quit everything. Even bailed on my trainer this week.
• Mr. P got a new job where he has to travel out of town at least one night a week. It is way harder than I thought it would be. So much so, that I went with him last night. (The job is great, he loves it, he is making more money than before, he is happy and he has a company truck that he digs driving around Alabama.)
• I joined a bowling league and on the first day I bowled a 150 and 141, but now two days later my knee hurts and my middle finger does too.
• I got a health screening and my numbers are good. (Blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc.)

I don't know what is going on with me. I feel guilty and shitty for getting behind on stuff. And my new diet of hydrogenated/fructose corn syrup snacks that I enjoy with beers probably doesn't help my attitude or motivation much either.

I took before pictures of the house o'tiny when we moved in. My plan is to be able to take the after pictures on Sunday. Plus, I have a huge harvest of peppers and I want to invite the family over for stuffed peppers next week. Will I get it done? Time will tell.

silver linings

I am waiting for some clothes to dry and then Mr. P and I are off to the beach for to celebrate my birthday. No, my birthday is not for another week, but I enjoy at least a week of getting my way with the ever popular (in my family), "...but it's my birthday!"

I am going to eat crab, drink something fruity whilst reading in a lounge chair, walk on the beach, and generally r.e.l.a.x.

OH, and I am very sorry to disappoint, but Mr. P took some time this week and schmoozed our way into NOT having to live at Mom's for that week...we will stay in the apartment for an extra 2 days, then move into the house 5 days early!

pshaw...I can make that.

So, we are in the midst of packing up our kitchen so that we can accomplish step's one and two of the worst moving plan in the history of earth:

1. Get Mobile Attic (this Thursday).
2. Pack most of our stuff into Mobile Attic.
3. Have Mobile Attic moved to Penny's yard.
4. Move rest of stuff into one bedroom apartment for 30 days.
5. Move out of tiny apartment into mom's apartment for 7 days. Repack some stuff and shove into mom's apartment. Throw rest of stuff away.
6. Have Mobile Attic moved to street in front of new old house.
7. Unpack Mobile Attic, paint bedroom Sea Glass (which is the new white, by the way).
8. Have refrigerator delivered.
9. FINALLY BE THE FUCK MOVED after 2 months of horrible, random shuffling around.

Anyways, today is the day I decided I NEEDED one more planter of watermelons, AND that I should find plans online to build my own adirondack chairs while we are staying in the apartment. And a gardening bench. Because of course, a tiny apartment is the perfect setting for an amateur woodworking studio. Also, I spent about an hour researching the cost of a weekend trip to NYC because I feel like I need to jog in Central Park, eat a chicken salad BLT at Carnegie Deli and eat fluffernutter cupcakes and Mr. Misty ice cream cones. All seems very reasonable.

Do you ever make unreasonable or weird plans that you are determined to see through because if you don't, your life might be completely ruined otherwise??

Oh, and I gained 4lbs this week. McDonald's TWICE. Pizza. Wings. Fried Chicken. No jogging. I am so lame, I have got to get my shit together, I am 12 weeks out from our first half marathon of the running season. YIKES.

but...I like to eat candy

We had a great weekend. After work on Friday we hightailed it down to the beach. Got up early on Saturday morning and got loaded on the pontoon boat and had a really good day--we snorkeled, floated, ate food, repeat for the entire day. I am so glad we went, the oil is SO close to ruining a really gorgeous area.

Got up this morning, and went out for a leisurely breakfast, then Mr. P drove home like he was trying out for NASCAR so we could get to our school's baseball games. We are in the NCAA tournament, hosting one of the brackets actually. We won both games today, one easily, the other one was a nail biter. I am actually washing my exact outfit now so I can wear it to the championship game tomorrow afternoon!

But I digress, on to where the post title is coming from....

On the trip I was looking through my backpack for a band-aid and found a baggie of candy from when we went to Belize in MARCH. Tonight after we got home from the baseball game, I ate the gummies out of it, which left Mr. P's licorice candies. I handed them to him, and he said he hated stale candy and was going to throw it away if I wasn't going to eat it. Then we had this conversation:

Me: I love stale candy.
Mr. P: I hate it, I am going to throw this away.
Me: Yeah, that is okay, I tried to eat a piece and convince myself I loved licorice and it didn't work.
Mr. P: WHAT?!?
Me: I like to eat candy.

So, what's new?

There is ABSOLUTELY a million, trillion things that I have to tell you, and yet I have opened this window at least 50 times and I got nothing. Until today, I am managing to string some words together.

So here is the abridged version of what is going on with me.

• Last night I realized that I will sleep in this house on the first of June, then our new apartment (yikes) for the first of July, my MOM's apartment (OH MY GOD yikes) the first of August, and then, finally, by the grace of God and MacGruber, Mr. P and I will be mercifully settled into our new abode for the first of September. This is just an update. The story behind it will follow on a later date.
• Actually MacGruber has nothing to do with our move at all, but I paid hard earned money to take my kids to see it last week in an act of goodwill (to my kids, not Will Forte). I laughed. A lot. Ha, ha 'face vagina'.
• On the note of the children, we had a come to Jesus chat where I explained why I cared about the choices they made, and I was okay with them doing whatever it is that they want to do, but not on my dime. Seems like they are gathering their shit together into a nice, neat pile, for which I am extremely grateful.
• Since I really wrote much I have been to the Bahamas, the beach and the lake for weekends. AND, we are going to the beach again this weekend (before the OIL, oh the ever loving OIL gets here). So, please know that my life does NOT suck, I just don't do well when my expectations aren't met, and by the by, my expectations are high.
• After we ran the 1/2 in March, I have probably not run 13 miles in TOTAL since then. I had a little of a weird injured knee, and a LOT of feeling sorry for myself because things weren't exactly.how.I.wanted. and we did a lot of wing eating and beer drinking which is not that condusive to jogging and push-ups.
• Yesterday, I started training for the Rock and Roll Half Marathon in Virginia Beach, VA on Labor Day weekend. Hotel booked. Registration paid. Pat Benetar and REO Speedwagon, here I come. Oh, but can I say that I am pissed at myself that 5K is really hard again? oh well. The journey, right?
• I am the same weight as January, so that is a small victory. However, I am on day 2 of counting points. This is the furthest I have gotten in months. Maybe this time it will stick again, and I get back to talking about how awesome I am at getting healthy, healthy, healthy. That got replaced with moody, moody, bitchy.
• Summer work is going swimmingly. And I am not even being facetious.

So there you have it. I think my head is just about right, and even though I have been quiet, I have been paying attention to the good, the bad and the ugly in your lives. I hope to become more active on your blogs and in your lives again, if you will have me.

March Madness

The last three weeks have been insanely wonderful, so much so, that with all the crud going around the regular world and the interweb world I have felt too guilty to post too much for fear of sounding completely douchey.

• I got tenure.



• I ran a half-marathon.



• I went on a dream vacation with my husband of 21 years.

Any of these things in isolation would have made my month, but all 3? I have it pretty damn good. Plus, when we got home, we got to go play Candyland with a precious pumpkin baby, and I came in FOURTH WINNER!

A few snippets of our trip:

First stop, Grand Caymans, where we went to a turtle farm/conservation center. I choose to believe this little dude is going to be released into the wild, not eaten. The turtles were completely cool, but I left a bit sad about the fate of some of them.

Our last stop was Roatan, Honduras. It was really beautiful, and we snorkeled and snorkeled and then snorkeled some more. All of the gorgeous fish and coral made me even more determined to get to my goal of under 200 pounds so that I feel comfortable enough to get SCUBA certified.

SO, this morning, I weighed in after weeks of debauchery and I am EXACTLY where I was on January 4. So before work this morning, I strapped on my running shoes and went on my first real run since the half. (I ran twice last weekend, but didn't push myself, just sort of cruised around.) I logged back into WeightWatchers. AND so far, I am still within my points for the day. I have given myself a hundred reasons not to stick with the eating right portion of my plan to get healthy, and now that I have had time to reflect on all that is great in my life, I hope to start stacking up the reasons why I should be sticking with the eating plan!

baby, it is COLD outside

We purposefully live in the south even amongtst the rednecks and Jesus superfans because of the temperate weather...but that has NOT been the case the last week or so. We are awaking to temperatures in the TEENS. The Fahrenheit teens, even. We are supposed to get to 45 degrees this afternoon, and I can't wait it will feel positively balmy.

I don't know if it is strictly because of the super cold, or how much fun we had in December, but Mr. P and I are about to book another cruise...for Spring Break, to BELIZE. It is the week after the half-marathon and it is making us both very excited and happy to be on a great food and workout regime with some definite goals and rewards. The cruise will be our 21st anniversary present to ourselves--but we can't go anywhere on our real anniversary (in April) because of my work schedule.

As I mentioned, we ran on Friday, then on Saturday we took the tiny boy (Eli) to lunch and a college basketball game, then I went to a slumber party at Penny's. We ate PIZZA. and CHIPS. and CANDY. and CANDY. and CANDY. and watched all THREE High School Musical movies and Eli put eyeshadow on me and we made friendship bracelets.

Yesterday, Mr. P and I went and ran the horrific 10K route AGAIN (we ran it on Friday, too...oh and I really, really liked Avatar, but there was no pants action, we fell asleep as soon as we got home...8 miles is FAR), then went to the gym to work on getting some muscles.

Can you say BELIZE in two months?!? Then we got groceries and came home and made pasta with veggies. mmmm. We watched stupid Food Network because I didn't know that Big Love started last night, but I am very excited to watch it tonight!

This morning, I weighed in and lost 3.6 pounds. WHOOP. I had been thinking I really haven't made much progress in a while, but I just checked and I was right. I am only 5.2lbs lighter now than then...but it is LESS and I have continued to run, so hopefully now that I am working on getting the food under control as well I should start losing again.

Back to my morning, I cooked dinner (chicken, salsa, corn and blackbeans in the crockpot - courtesy of Penny), took the dog for a very short walk, packed breakfast and snacks and now am at work and have taught 1 of my classes, the other starts in 5 minutes. Then I have two more meetings and will FINALLY get home at 7:30ish.

While I definitely did not relish the alarm going off this morning, it is very nice and comforting to get back into a routine!

Life happens, so you should LIVE

When I was in 10th grade we moved to Alabama and I started high school with 350 kids. I was still the 'new' kid when we graduated 3 years later because everyone else had been going to school together since Kindergarden.

Anyway, during that first week of 10th grade I was assigned two lab partners in Biology and one of those lab partners led to most of my high school friends and many, many memories. As typical with a small town high school, we had crushes on each other (at different points in time), he was the object of a very weird love triangle with two of my now very good friends, we played tennis, drank grain alcohol mixed into Hawaiin Punch, collected 50 seeds for Biology and during that project I tried chewing tobacco and dry heaved for hours and hours, he joined my church and we went through confirmation classes and softball coached by my father.

We lost touch after high school and he made some very bad choices. VERY bad. But, at the 20 year reunion he was sober and looked great, his wife seemed happy, and their kids are cute.

(He is in the blue shirt).

I have now spent 10 minutes trying to decide how to tell you where I am in the photo if you couldn't tell. I am on his right when looking at the photo, but really I am on his left IN the photo and I don't know which one is the right way to tell you. How about I have on the white shirt. I babble, because the hard stuff is next.

************************************************
Two nights ago, he was speeding, drinking and not wearing his seatbelt. He is in a coma.

************************************************

The evening I got the news about my high school friend, some friends asked us AGAIN to go skiing/snowboarding/tubing with them for the weekend. I immediately said, "Maybe next year when I have lost a bit more weight." They are used to that song and dance and just smiled and said, "cool".

Then I looked at Mr. P and out of NOwhere I said, "YES. We CAN go." So yesterday I found a hotel, rented a car, got a pet sitter, and figured out what we have to do to rent equipment. Tomorrow at lunch we will pack up and head north to a VERY cold eight degree mountain and we will try our hands at skiing and tubing and bringing in the New Year in a life where I no longer say NO because of my weight.

I am done WAITING. I am ready to be LIVING.

Because you just never know.

yeah, you probably SHOULD judge me

because I am eating bon-bons...but not MY bon-bons, but Mr. P's bon-bons because my Mom loves me and Penny and therefore did not give us any bon-bons. Oh, don't judge me for eating candy, but instead because while I eat bon-bons I am just now working on my Christmas cards.

AND

I wrote a.

a.
a.

Christmas letter. I know. I know. I laugh at the Christmas letter writer people.

also, judge me because I compiled a 'collage' photo to include. oh dear, how obnoxious am I?

Anyways, I thought I would share with all of you because other than a few people, I like my interwebs better than most I am sending this too. (Except for YOU, of course).

December 28, 2009
LATE LATE LATE!

We wanted to wish everyone a great holiday season, and even picked out cards out very, very early this year, but we wanted to include an updated family photo and time got away from us—

But…while we have your attention, we will provide a quick update, this has been a HUGE year!

CK2 graduated high school, got a scholarship to Auburn, moved into an apartment (with CK), and completed his first semester in college. He was in two community theater productions this year, Fiddler on the Roof and Miracle Worker.

CK turned TWENTY and is now a senior at Auburn. She has decided on her career…high school science teacher! She will graduate next December. CK spent her summer in upper NY working at Camp Echo Lake and currently works at the after school program where she attended Kindergarden, talk about full circle.

Mr. P and I are enjoying our empty nest, and are anxiously awaiting my tenure decision. I put my packet together in October and should get the final word in early spring. We are definitely hoping for tenure since my sister and her family, and my mother moved to Auburn this year.

It has been a good year for our family, and we hope all of you are well! Hope you had a terrific holiday season!!!

P.S. Santa brought our family a cruise to Mexico for Christmas, and that is when we finally managed to get all of us in a photo!

Commence barfing and gagging, and check out the photo collage:



Merry Christmas. again.

Indulgent, much?

The cruise was DEC.A.DENT. Here is an alphabetical sampling of what I did/ate/drank/saw:


angel fish
bacon
banana daiquiri
Beatles show
bingo
bread pudding
Bud Light
butter
champagne
cheerios
cheese burger
cherries jubilee
chicken fingers
chile relleno
cold strawberry soup
Diet Coke
Dos Equis
duty-free store
flamingos
flying fish
french bread
french fries
french onion soup
french toast
fruit
guacamole
Gulf of Mexico
hammock
hash browns
jogging
karaoke
kayak
lobster
lounging
mangroves
Michelob Ultra
Mongolian barbecue
omelet
pedal boats
quesadilla
queso fundido
ratatouille
reading
Riesling
rye bread
shrimp
sunburn
Tecate Light
tilapia
towel folding class
tree crabs
tuna salad
water trampoline
yogurt

Mr. P and I LOVED cruising and will definitely be going on another as soon as we can coordinate the time off. It was great spending time with the family while NOT dealing with 'real life'.

I will go through the pictures tomorrow and find some that do not fit the adage, "What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico!".

Christmas was fantastic, BUT food has been out of control, same with drink. I am just bloated and BLECH. Ready to get back on the straight and narrow. Will slowly begin to catch up with all of you, and catch you up with what is going on here.

Feliz Navidad!

Bon Voyage!!

In about 7 minutes we will be headed towards the Gulf of Mexico and our cruise ship.

Things here are still "ehh", but I am putting that aside until December 28th.

I am actually at my lowest weight so far this journey, let's see if I can maintain whilst about the giant floating buffet!!!

I just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, Good Kwanzaa or Chipper Channakah...whatever it is that you celebrate, I hope it is great. Catch you on the flip side!

this may or may NOT be cheating

but I am merely posting to fulfill NaBloPoMo. We are home, but not home. We have a second gig whereby we host MNF Bingo at a local watering hole, and I just grabbed Mr. P's computer real quick to do a post.

Let's see...we went to Tybee Island today and ate a bizarre crab place that has exotic birds, cats and alligators. Then we walked on the beach and gathered some shells...I have a present in mind for my mom. It may involve silver spray paint.

Then we drove home. At an outdoor Christmas light store we saw a cross made of white lights with a red and green Jesus (also made of lights) cruxified upon it. I missed the picture opportunity but the place is only 15 minutes outside of town, so I will be going back for a picture.

It was great to be away, but now it is great to be home. Thanksgiving awaits!!!

hippie mormon pirates

Last night when we were walking by the river we saw a pretty awesome tall ship. Today when we were out and about we saw that you could take a free tour, so we did. It was really, really cool. Mr. P tried out being a pirate:

Then we noticed that there was one man, and a bunch of women and girls making pottery. on the ship.

Mr. P grabbed a pamphlet and we promptly got off that boat. He just read it to me, and I am not sure exactly what religion they are but it sounds like a cross between mormon and hippie and they live on that boat and drive it up and down the eastern seaboard selling pottery and accepting donations.

Then we went to an art gallery where I fell.IN.LOVE with this glass hangy sculpture.

Then we got a cup of crab chowder and loaf of french bread and some garlicy cheese sauce. and then $35 worth of candy at the fudge/caramel apple/gummy store. I swear at least $2.78 worth is for Eli.

our bags are packed, we're ready to go...

about 6 hours later than we had originally planned, but I refuse to rush or be stressed, even on mini-vacation.

Mr. P and I decided that we would spend SOME money on a little get-a-way...and Savannah, GA is the winner. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous and we plan on just DOING whatever, whenever as the mood strikes us. No plans. None. We have hotel snacks, running gear, and Christmas movies (for room service one night). I guess we do sorta have some plans.

Maybe even more exciting than the getaway, is that I have contracted with my dog sitter for my house to be cleaned top to bottom for Thanksgiving guests while I am away (by the college kids). Which means when I get back on Tuesday, I have a few errands to do, and then I can just enjoy Thanksgiving break with my kids and the family. Booyah.

I need to grab my phone charger and my camera charger and shut this thing down so we can get on the road!!

Seniorita, you be too mucho grande

Even after all I have done to work on getting healthier, the fact that I am still obese just keeps smashing me all right up in my grill.

Mr. P and I surprised the college kids with a 5-day cruise to Mexico for Christmas. We are all very excited about it. One of the stops is Cozumel and we have been debating what shore excursion we want to do. College kid posted on my FB page that she wanted to do this zip-line/snorkel combo so I took a look at it because while it sounds super fun, I KNEW there would be a weight limit.

I was right. There is. That isn't the problem. There is also a WAIST limit. 44 inches. My waist? 44 inches. Almost 4 feet. I am still almost FOUR feet around. I had to tell the kids, sorry, I can't spend the next 30 days petrified that I will get there and they say, "Seniorita, you are too fat."

Then Mr. P jumped in and said, they won't say THAT.




They would say, "Seniorita, you be mucho grande".

asshat.