Tuesday, June 30, 2009


The highschool kid officially became College Kid II today. We just got home from freshman orientation...which is weird to attend because (1) I am a double alumnus, and graduated in 1995 and 1996. (2) Mr. P is an alum as well (so is my sister and her husband) and he graduated in 2000. (3) I started working here in 2004. (4) College Kid I started school here in 2007 (and I attended orientation then as well). I have LOADS of knowledge about said school, we only haven't been on campus for 4 of the last 14 years, so orientation is not so orientatious, but more ANNOYING.

In a Parent to Parent session, the "panel" parents answered questions.

Audience Parent: What advice do we offer when our student is struggling?

Panel Parent: Tell them to regularly visit with their professors.

HELLO??? Before telling them to wander in and out of their professor's offices, why not ask them what have they done to prepare for class: Have you gone to class? Have you read? Have you done your assignments...graded or otherwise? Don't get me wrong, if students are trying, I WANT them to be in my office so I can help get them through. But I DESPISE students that I have never seen in class coming to my office hours expecting me to teach them then.

Audience Parent: My son is going to have to work. How many hours seem reasonable to expect him to work?

Panel Parent: Well, it would be better if he didn't have to work, so he had time to adjust and enjoy college.

HELLO???? Maybe that isn't an option for that family. Now, instead of offering sound advice, you made that parent feel like crap.

After that session we had a smaller 'intimate' session with a couple of college kid counselor types.

Parent: I think $995 a semester is too much for the mandatory meal plan.
All too Chipper Counselor A: It was just released that only 2% of the mandatory plan funds were not used by students, so it seems that students are using the money.
Parent: But MY daughter won't eat that much.
ATCCA: It does roll over, and you can buy giftcards to Starbucks and Chick Fil A for your balance that you can give as gifts!
Parent: I think it is too much.

OH FUCK. Do you really think that these two college kids have anything what.so.ever to do with setting the limits on the meal plans????

Parent: What happens if my students loses her ID (which includes the meal plans moneys)?
ATCCB: There is a webpage that you can login to, and immediately unactivate the card.
Parent: Am I out the money if someone steals it and uses it, even though there is a picture?
ATCCB: I have never heard of that happening, but as soon as she realizes it she can shut it down.
Parent: That didn't answer my question, am I OUT THE MONEY?

AGAIN. It is a college kid, if you are so fucking worried that your kid is going to lose the card, tape it too her forehead.

This was all in the first two hours.

BUT, my kid is all registered and excited about school, which is the purpose of the program. I can deal with idiots all day for that!

Monday, June 29, 2009

BOTH feet

That is I am jumping back on the healthy, healthy, healthy bandwagon with both feet. I did so well during the Biggest Loser Blog Edition, I actually came in 3rd on my team...but then life hit me square in the face, with my family in town, graduation, five weeks of summer school and stress, stress, stress. I didn't journal, eat enough fresh fruits or vegetables, drink enough water, take my vitamins, or exercise like I should have. Don't get me wrong, I didn't completely revert to my old ways, I did manage some healthy, some days, for a little bit. But now, finally, my head is in a good spot, and I am ready, willing and able to ramp it back up.

Good news is that over the 10 weeks of craziness, I am down .2 lbs. I know that doesn't sound like a good weight loss for that amount of time, but knowing what I know about myself and my prior patterns of weight loss and gain, I am definitely pleased. I am in this for the long haul, and unlike other times I have started this journey, I just took a small detour that ran along the main road, not completely in the opposite direction.

To help get re-energized, I have joined Amy's 15 Week Challenge. Today was Day 1, and for my first weigh-in, I was UP .6 pounds. This means I am 100.25% of my starting weight, not the most auspicious start to say the least. BUT, I did a 5K this morning (in 45 minutes, apparently, not running for 3 weeks is NOT the best training method), bought healthy groceries, and a new bottle of vitamins.

As an added facet, Amy challenged us to re-work a favorite recipe, so I took pictures of what I cooked tonight (my version of Olive Garden's 5 cheese marinara*), but I reworked that awhile ago, and it felt all cheaty, so I am going to think about something NEW to do for the challenge...that is the true spirit of the challenge, to have something NEW to put in the food repetoire.

And now, all today's healthiness has worn.me.out. Thus, I must sleep.

*Mix 3/4 cups of Prego Chunky Vegetable with a 4 ounce container of low fat cottage cheese, microwave for 30 seconds...it looks sort of gross, but is so delicious and filling. Tonight I had it over wheat pasta and sauteed carrots, green pepper, onion and mushrooms. If you like spicy, add in 1/2 a jalapeno.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

that is NOT New Jersey

In the middle of watching Transformers 2:

After a scene where a hanger door from the Smithsonian leads to an airplane graveyard:

Mr. P (whispers): Exactly HOW did they get to Davis-Monthan? That is in Tuscon.

Then a few minutes later:

Mr. P (louder whisper) : That is NOT New Jersey.

DUDE, you have NO problems with the alien robots...but the locales not fitting with reality are a sticking point?????

By the by, love the Transformers.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

all is whelmed

I am completely overwhelmed with all the stuff that is going on (starting on my tenure packets, going to freshmen orientation with my baby, coordinating and then going on a camping weekend with a buttload of friends, writing finals, getting back to healthy, healthy, healthy), and with all the stuff that is about to be going on (working on research, developing a course I have to teach in NYC on August 1, getting said freshmen packed up and moved out) that I have just failed miserably at being a blogger, let alone a good blogging friend. I partially blame my move to Reader...I read on my iPhone, but commenting is a pain from the Reader on the IPhone so I just don't. Plus, I think I offended a blogger that I really like, and I am pretty bummed about that, so in the style of being a pouty baby I just quit blogging all together.

I hope I haven't lost all readers, and I really do want to get back with it...I miss you guys, I just am really out of it. I really want to catch up with all of you, and to tell you the story of how I taught my class for.an.hour. with my fly open. FLY. OPEN. Thank god Bea shamed me into new panties...at least they were cute and pink. I also saw The Hangover, and have to say I am so ashamed that I laughed the entire.movie. It is bad people. Awful. So fucking funny. AND, I lost 2 lbs, so am on the cusp of losing new weight this week.

I now have horrendous cramps and am going to bed. sob. sob. whine.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I knit sweaters, YO!

I don't actually, but I do have an affinity for Taylor Swift and novelty rap...so hearing this on the radio while I was on the way home from dropping dollars to get our car fixed that should have been fixed for free but wasn't because our mechanic was in jail cheered me up considerably.

ETA: Damn Viacomm. What exactly did they make this video if they aren't going to let people watch it on YouTube? Try to sell it? Corporate bastards.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I was trapped in my own pants

yeah, so yesterday I was wearing a pair of khaki pants that have a drawstring tie belty thing. On the ends of the little strings there are knots. Apparently when I tied the belty thing, I got the end-knots twisted into an actual knot that would have made any sailor or boy scout proud.

You know when I discovered this?

After I drank about 50 ounces of Diet Coke.

I am in the stall, frantically working the knot, seriously considering whether I can get to my office, get scissors, cut OFF MY PANTS and make it back to the bathroom before peeing on myself. and um. I have to teach class in 4 minutes, so no way to get home to change out of either pee pee pants, or butchered scissor pants.

BUT, the Baby Jesus had mercy on my soul and I managed to get untied and on the seat in.the.nick.of.time.

Oh, and just as an aside---reading the last three chapters of any Jodi Piccoult book while in the midst of public when your emotions are oozing out of your pores is not the best plan. yeah, I read the end of My Sister's Keeper at lunch yesterday, and had BIG crocodile tears rolling down my face, and I tried to stop for about 10 seconds, but it just felt too good to stop. (oh, hey, if you want the book, I could mail it to you if you want to give me your address and you don't think I would try to stalk you or anything. ETA: CK laid claim to the book!)

And now as I am writing this at work with my door wide open I take a quick second to fuck around with a healing pimple right.between.my.eyes. and I make it bleed. So I am sitting here with a napkin shoved into my eye socket and the new guy pops his head in my door and says, "OH, are you okay?" and I have to say, "Yeah, I just messed with my face and now I am bleeding," to which he replies, "mmm. That is unfortunate."

I am a freaking disaster.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Falling apart at the seams

I have not exercised since last Monday unless you count a 1.5 mile walk to the bar after work on Thursday. I have not journaled since I journaled that I ate whatever the fuck I wanted for two days then decided 'ehh. why bother?' I had one day off in the last two weeks and that was yesterday where I never even changed out of my pajamas.

I deserve NO empathy, or god.forbid. sympathy because there are 5 weeks a year that my job really sucks the life out of me, and I am right in the midst of it at week 3 day 2. This is the 5 weeks a year that I teach two different classes 1 1/2 hours each, back to back, every day for 5 weeks. I then have grading, paper reviews for journals (5?!?, when I haven't done more than 1 a year, I have had FIVE in a month), and my research to get back under control. I normally have to teach the same class, 1 1/4 hours back to back, TWICE a week, and then I have oodles of time to get all my other work shit done and exercise and grocery shop and plan and not wallow about my stress level.

Then I get an email this morning that I have to compile a list of 4-6 professors that I have never worked with to evaluate my research portfolio for something called, "an external letter." Not only do I have to get the people HERE to like me, but now I have to find 4 to 6 mucky mucks at other schools BETTER than mine that have to like me too and write a letter that says so. awesome.

So I weighed in this morning, and back up 1.4 pounds. No surprise there, I kinda feel shitty about it, but I kinda am..."ehh...get me through to June 28 without gaining all 35 back, then I will work on straightening my head out".

I KNOW that generally my life is cush. for sure. But when it gets like this, I can't be bothered to worry about such mundane things as my HEALTH. the cleanliness of my house. whether Mr. P's disco stick is in need of a tune-up. I let all other things fall apart while I try to keep the shit together at work.

dudes, it is so bad that I have green marker all over my arm and I.don't.even.care*.

*I am a drama queen and I truly do feel like my life is a pit right now, however, even I am not self-centered enough to think my problems are truly that problematic in the grand scheme. Hugs to Ashley.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

So should I be saying "My Adults"?

instead of 'my kids'? As of yesterday, I am the parent of two adults. Well, according to conventional aging wisdom...not sure it completely applies to my offspring.

The second college kid turned 18 years old yesterday. It is SO hard for me to believe that he is a man.

Healthy, healthy, healthy update: I have journaled. Yes, I have journaled ALL the stuff I have been eating, the FRIES, the ICE CREAM CAKE, the CHEESEBURGER. ALL the inappropriate stuff I have been eating and my ONE exercise of the week (the run on Monday). I have two more crazy weeks of work, then my life will calm down considerably and I can turn exercising back into my part-time lover.

Monday, June 8, 2009

I'm too cute to exercise today


I will let you think about that one.

yeah....I texted that to Mr. P at about 4:45 this afternoon when he asked me if I wanted to meet him at Body Pump.

Worse yet...I totally meant it.

I bought a new shirt at OLD NAVY in the regular sizes (XL) that I wore to work today with a pair of brown pants and a necklace AND some mascara and lipgloss. I looked adorable if I do say so myself.. I didn't want to waste a cutey patootey day on just work, so I wanted Mr. P to take me out. But, I ended up working until nearly 7, and then decided to just come home because I have oh.so.much work to do this week. When I got home we decided to get the new grilled Kentucky Fried Chicken, and while the elder child fetched it, Mr. P and I went on a 3.2 mile run. So, in the end, I exercised after all, even though I was too cute. OH, and I had a corn on the cob, mashed potatoes (no gravy), two pieces of chicken and green beans for 12 points. Plus, it was YUMMY.

I weighed in this morning, and was down 1.4lbs, but still not into new fat territory. My healthy, healthy, healthy journey has gone flat. In 8 weeks I have lost .8lbs. My fat test score is still a high B, at 87.23%, and if you remember correctly I am aiming for a 62%. a ways to go.

I have hit a MENTAL plateau...I am doing great Monday - Wednesday, and then I fall apart over the latter part of the week. I am still getting some exercise, drinking water, and eating good fruits and veggies on the fall-apart days, BUT I am also eating candy, wings, fried pickles, and drinking beers. and. I am not journaling any of my choices, or even my workouts on those days.

I don't know why I can't get over the hump and stick with it all the days of the week, I did great for months, then have been just piddling around with my lifestyle changes. I am happy with the way my clothes are fitting and I feel so much better, but when is it going to TRULY sink in that this isn't good enough...I still have 100 lbs to lose, and at .1 pounds per week, I won't get to goal until August 7, 2028...a week past my 59th birthday! yikes. (Of course, Excel helped me with that date math.)

I hope the turn from too cute to work out, to getting in a 3 mile run and journaling is a BIG step on the right path back to heathly, healthy, healthy!

Were you too cute to exercise today?

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Mr. P is NOT fluent in Lady Ga Ga

Me: I wanna ride on your disco stick.

Mr. P: Oh.

crickets chirping.

Mr. P: my disco stick?

Friday, June 5, 2009

I think the hail must have gotten in their brains

So this afternoon I was teaching one of my classes, and it was kind of a laid back session where I was just working homework problems on demand. I had just written on the board, and was turning back towards the class to make a comment about what I had written and there was a student standing right there. Up front. Right next to me.

Me: stammering...umm?
Student: Yeah, can you look at this and tell me if I am right? (Showing me his homework assignment.)
Me: But, I am...(waving my arm like Vanna White over the problem I was working)
Student: But if you tell me I am right, I can just leave.
Me: Sit down.

Then it happened again a few minutes later. WHAT THE HELL? It was so bizarre that I had to take time out of class today to tell them...ummm....during class, do.not.come up here. and interrupt me. FYI.

Then in my second class a kid came in 30 minutes late, then was kind of terped that I didn't want to stay 30 minutes late to "catch him up".

This whole tenure process has me acting like such a goose that these students believe I am at their beck and call...I am all about helping them succeed, but DUDES, something is going completely wrong.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Flushing stranger poop

You go into a stall in a public restroom and there is poop in the toilet...what do you do? Specifically, do you flush stranger poop?

Personally, I really don't get how people can forget to flush. I am an obsessive flusher, I will.not.leave the stall until all my poop is gone...no evidence of public shitting for me. That being said, I have some bizarre aversion to flushing stranger poop. I have NO idea why. It really isn't all that rational, but I don't do it.

While on the subject of poor toilet etiquette, what is the deal with germ freaks wrapping the fucking seat with toilet paper and then LEAVING IT? What the fuck is that about?!?!?

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

as in life, chill for best results...

Hello, my name is HotchPotchery and I am a water "product" addict. You tell me that water has vitamins, whether real or fake, and I am ON board brother!

I LOVE VitaminWater...it is full of vitamins (duh) and seriously, the Dragon Fruit one that is Power C totally gives me power. I mean COME ON PEOPLE it is made by the people at the Center for Responsible Hydration. I have had to give it up though...too many points. (Though interestingly I do not find beer to have too many points.)

I love FUZE, especially the white tea and slenderize varieties. It contains SuperCitrimax which is made from a Garcinia cambogia, which is supposedly a fruit, but the google results sort of scared me, so I am back to SuperCitrimax.

In February when I visited my sister we found this special water that had a vitamin potion in the lid and you unscrew it and the vitamins go in the water, then you shake it and have a delicious spectacularly full of vitamin beverage. On the way home from the lake on Sunday I found it at a super crappy convenience store. SCORE. VBlast! Dudes, only YOU can decide when to release the vitamins! I decided to do it right away!
The only thing that draws me in more than a water product with vitamin potion is one that is ORGANIC, like this latest find: twistORGANICS. I picked Pomegranate Blueberry. Two things make this water awesome, and sorta sadly taste isn't one of them...it is kind of weird tasting, not bad, but not super delicious. If I added a Sweet 'n Low I bet it would be fantastic.

The first awesome thing is the main ingredient:

I know, I know the flashy glare makes it hard to read, but it says ULTRA PREMIUM WATER. Not just premium water, mind you, but ULTRA premium water. that is some high quality H20*.

The second awesome thing is the Serving Suggestion:

After a super angsty couple of days, Twist Organics, I definitely will try.

*Remember that movie "The Waterboy"?

Monday, June 1, 2009

MORE irritation...this time worky style

I got up this morning, weighed in, and was down 1lb. Still not into "new" fat territory, but I did manage to start working on the weird May fat/unfat/fat cycle. I did my 3 mile run (for full disclosure, I walked a bit in the middle), then after showering decided that commenters know best and I took my book and got a pedicure and lunch before work (mini "spa day").

(I should note that due to that mid-morning excursion, I am STILL at work at 10pm.)

I got into work and got news that a paper I was SURE would be conditionally accepted, was nearly rejected (one reviewer and the Associate Editor wanted to reject), but was saved by the editor...so we have a 'major revision' to do. When I first read the reviews I thought OH CRAP, this is going to take forfuckingever and ruin my summer. I was ticked, as the journal I sent it to is good, but not stellar, and the stellar journal wasn't nearly this critical. After I quickly read through the reviews, I had to go to class, so I was sort of blurry and upset, because I finally, finally thought I was in the tenure window, only to be sort of blown away by this news.

After class I wanted to sit in my office and obsess over every detail of the review and sulk and panic and freak and cry and whine and try to figure out where we are going to move since this is most certainly the paper that was going to get me tenure and now it isn't so I am DOOOooooOOOOmed. But, I didn't. I went to Body Pump with Mr. P. Then I took my book and got some dinner (HEALTHY dinner, I might add), then came back to work because I am giving two tests tomorrow, and well, they weren't written completely yet.

THEN, I sat in my office and obsessed over every detail of the review and sulked and panicked, etc., but then did a few quick literature searches, a couple of statistical analyses, and sure enough I realized...huh, no fatal flaws...the paper is going to be fine, even though I may not get a publication decision before my packet has to go in, it should still result in a published paper.

I just sorted of counted that publication chicken before that egg was hatched if you know what I mean...I was sure it would help me get to 10. Nope, so I hover at 8, hoping something will fall out of the sky and get accepted already. Academics rocks in oh.so.many.ways, but this publish or perish thing kind of bites ass.
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