I have not exercised since last Monday unless you count a 1.5 mile walk to the bar after work on Thursday. I have not journaled since I journaled that I ate whatever the fuck I wanted for two days then decided 'ehh. why bother?' I had one day off in the last two weeks and that was yesterday where I never even changed out of my pajamas.
I deserve NO empathy, or god.forbid. sympathy because there are 5 weeks a year that my job really sucks the life out of me, and I am right in the midst of it at week 3 day 2. This is the 5 weeks a year that I teach two different classes 1 1/2 hours each, back to back, every day for 5 weeks. I then have grading, paper reviews for journals (5?!?, when I haven't done more than 1 a year, I have had FIVE in a month), and my research to get back under control. I normally have to teach the same class, 1 1/4 hours back to back, TWICE a week, and then I have oodles of time to get all my other work shit done and exercise and grocery shop and plan and not wallow about my stress level.
Then I get an email this morning that I have to compile a list of 4-6 professors that I have never worked with to evaluate my research portfolio for something called, "an external letter." Not only do I have to get the people HERE to like me, but now I have to find 4 to 6 mucky mucks at other schools BETTER than mine that have to like me too and write a letter that says so. awesome.
So I weighed in this morning, and back up 1.4 pounds. No surprise there, I kinda feel shitty about it, but I kinda am..."ehh...get me through to June 28 without gaining all 35 back, then I will work on straightening my head out".
I KNOW that generally my life is cush. for sure. But when it gets like this, I can't be bothered to worry about such mundane things as my HEALTH. the cleanliness of my house. whether Mr. P's disco stick is in need of a tune-up. I let all other things fall apart while I try to keep the shit together at work.
dudes, it is so bad that I have green marker all over my arm and I.don't.even.care*.
*I am a drama queen and I truly do feel like my life is a pit right now, however, even I am not self-centered enough to think my problems are truly that problematic in the grand scheme. Hugs to Ashley.