Monday, February 1, 2010
I am going off the air for February. Blogging isn't working for me right now. I am having a hard time with lots of things that I don't really think are mine to blog about, at least until I get stuff straight in my head and I get some clarity and closure on other stuff. The pressure of NOT being able to blog about what I am going through at the moment is bothering me a surprising amount to the point that thinking about blogging makes my guts twist up.
There are other things too: I am not managing my relationships the way I know I can. I am not eating right. I am not running. I am not going to the gym. I am going through the motions to get through my classes, but I am not progressing on research or any of my other responsibilities in that arena. My house is a disaster both from a clean/dirty and organization/CLUTTERFUCK standpoints.
It isn't that I am (not) doing these things BECAUSE of blogging, I just feel like I want a quick fix on control and choosing to step away from blogging is how I choose to do that.
While I am gone I hope to have lost some weight, gotten back on the 1/2 training program, and gotten my house in 'company' shape. We will have signed a new lease. I will go over 100 miles on the brand new car I bought last Friday. (A YELLOW Chevy Cobalt)*. I will have participated in a faculty meeting that divides our faculty, and I will have had to choose a side. I will have had a mammogram, celebrated Mr. P's birthday, run in 4 races (one 10K, three 5K's), finished all the reviews I have piled on my desk, submitted a proposal for a grant, and hopefully, will have a letter from the University Prez stating I have tenure.
Catch you on the flip side of February, hopefully a less melodramatic flake!
*(That purchase, while I love the car, is an example of how I am kind of not myself lately and I need to re-center, to be all hippy dippy about it.)