SO....

I failed NaBloPoMo AGAIN...this is two years in a row that I start out great, then my life gets the better of me and I forget to blog, even though I think of the blog several times a day.

We were out of town last weekend at the beach, then came back and I worked Monday night and 12 hours on Tuesday. I took Wednesday as a me day, and did a great long workout, a run, made some "green" pasta sauce that was OUT.STANDING (in my opinion...I gave some to my sister and haven't heard so I am thinking they may not have cared for it and didn't want to hurt my feelings), caught up on Glee, snuggled my sister's new baby, chatted with her 5 year old, went bowling (we are in a league), then worked all Thursday and Friday, then we went out of town again to our first ever "away" college football game.

We got home a few hours ago and I have the base of chicken pot pie simmering in the kitchen and we are relaxing. RELAXING...what a novel thing to do, and man do I need it.

I got an email from Nike+ that they are hosting a 'virtual' half marathon for women in January. I won't be completely ready to run the whole thing, but I was thinking maybe I would do my normal run that day, then work on walking the rest of it throughout the day...anybody interested in doing this with me??? (I do not know all of the details quite yet...I will look them up right now.)

Can I do it?

I am talking about NaBloPoMo (now a part of BlogHer, who's site does not heart me, as it crashed twice when I tried to sign up.)


And the half marathon I registered for yesterday (Seaside Half in March).


And the commitment I made to my trainer to really concentrate on health and wellness until the half (with some allowed and encouraged holiday fare).


And finally, can I talk about what caused me to stop blogging?


Yes. I realize that now I could write about what happened that day about 18 months ago when I typed a blog post only to delete it, shut down blogger and rarely return, but I don't need to (while it might make me feel better, it might make someone(s) feel worse, even if they don't know/read the blog). I have gotten some clarity on why I am how I am and what it will mean to be to be at a "normal" weight. I don't need a fat cloak anymore. I think I have finally outgrown it.

people are interesting

Lots of stuff has been going on, so MUCH stuff that I am having a hard time figuring out where to start and how to even organize it without one, giant, comma, filled rambling sentence with lots of CAPITAL letters and words that I make up.

So I will start with this interaction I had just two hours ago.

I went to lunch and on my way back to my office I notice a guy walking towards me walking a pretend dog...or pretending like he is walking a dog... not sure the distinction is important, but I was getting hung up on how to describe it.

So for some reason I don't really even understand, I smiled at him and said, "What kind of dog is that?"

Without hesitation he said, "I am not pretending to walk a dog, I am pretending to smoke a cigarette."

I flew to Kansas City

and in the process changed time zones, so I really didn't miss blogging today...

NOT.

FAIL.

damn it.

(the title is what excuse Mr. P thought I should give. Not really sure why we would have gone to KC....)

UNLESS, this can still count as Tuesday's blog since I have not gone to bed on Tuesday yet...is it once every 24 hours bound by time, or once per day that you are awake?????

Thoughts? Did I just lose NaBloPoMo 2010???

From once a month, to once a day? Really?

Today is the start of NaBloPoMo or some such combination of letters, and I have done this once a day posting for November quite successfully the last two years. Then, I decided about a week ago that I wanted to do it again this year, to reconnect with some people that I have missed and to reconnect with myself in my own mind.

---I am struggling with a few things.



Then stuff blew up and while I want to write it out, I have to decide if it is something I am comfortable sharing...I probably should wait until I am less upset, because right now the title of my blog post is, "Raising Asshats For Dummies" and I am pretty sure that is not the sentiment I want lingering on the Interwebs for all eternity because while I feel like there is some asshatty behavior going on right now, they are no actual asshats, per se.



And then finally, to maybe start being accountable again to myself about my healthy (or lack thereof) habits.



So here it is...I am throwing my hat into the ring for November 2010...we will see how it goes.

what I did today

• Slept through the alarm set for 5:30am and managed to drag out of bed at 7am. I set the alarm so early because starting next Monday I have to teach a class at 8am and the heat makes it impossible to run at times other than 7am and 7pm. I like TV at 7pm.
• I weighed in DANGEROUSLY close to scootching up a decade. I immediately logged into http://www.weightwatchers.com/, updated my weight and made a note to self to get shit together. asap.
• Started week 2 (note that week 1 happened several weeks ago) of my half marathon training. AND AND AND, I warmed up and stretched before I ran. Pain free the first mile (well, my hip/knee crap, lungs? different question), then a bit of pain the second mile. Managed a decent time for me. Stretched again. Iced hip.
• Made a frappe with my new Mr. Coffee Cafe Frappe. YUM. (Impulse buy yesterday because I was sure that it would help me through said early morning class starting next week.)
• Watered plants. Fell in love with my baby cucumbers all over again. Tried to decide how many times we are going to have to have Thai food based on the 450 peppers that are growing.
• Showered.
• Wrote three blog posts and deleted every.one. of them.
• Quit the gym. OF COURSE, you have to quit by the 20th so you don't get charged an extra month. I bet they change the form every day so that you are always a day late. fuckers. I want to quit the gym!
• Changed my address at the post office.
• Went to Chick Fil A for lunch and to read to decompress for class.
• Taught an hour and a half class about writing queries.
• Taught an hour and a half class about accounting for corporate bond issues.
• Graded projects while eating a Fage 2% with Honey yogurt thing. I almost threw it away because it was weird. But then it got a bit warmer and blended and then I liked it...but maybe not 4 points liked it. I added some Corn Flakes. Did you know that Kellogg's Corn Flakes contain high fructose corn syrup? Yeah, I didn't either.
• Came home.
• Made HOMEmade salsa/pico. Tomatoes, red onion, homegrown jalapeno/serrano/habanero peppers, fresh corn, black beans, garlic, cilantro, salt/pepper, red wine vinegar. DAMN it is good. and fresh. and delicious.

Now I am waiting for Mr. P to get home from his run, and we are going to eat the salsa/pico stuff on corn tortillas with some refried beans and a bit of 2% cheese. We have 8 days left in this house, and it can't happen soon.enough.

OH.MY.GOD. I have the Bachelorette on and I think one of the dudes got a tattoo with her name on it....what the hell man??? psych.o.

How was your Monday?

EDITED TO ADD: My iPod had died, and when I charged it the date/time was funky, so it logged my run at May 5, so it isn't showing up with my Nike girl. My next run (Wednesday) will be there.

So, what's new?

There is ABSOLUTELY a million, trillion things that I have to tell you, and yet I have opened this window at least 50 times and I got nothing. Until today, I am managing to string some words together.

So here is the abridged version of what is going on with me.

• Last night I realized that I will sleep in this house on the first of June, then our new apartment (yikes) for the first of July, my MOM's apartment (OH MY GOD yikes) the first of August, and then, finally, by the grace of God and MacGruber, Mr. P and I will be mercifully settled into our new abode for the first of September. This is just an update. The story behind it will follow on a later date.
• Actually MacGruber has nothing to do with our move at all, but I paid hard earned money to take my kids to see it last week in an act of goodwill (to my kids, not Will Forte). I laughed. A lot. Ha, ha 'face vagina'.
• On the note of the children, we had a come to Jesus chat where I explained why I cared about the choices they made, and I was okay with them doing whatever it is that they want to do, but not on my dime. Seems like they are gathering their shit together into a nice, neat pile, for which I am extremely grateful.
• Since I really wrote much I have been to the Bahamas, the beach and the lake for weekends. AND, we are going to the beach again this weekend (before the OIL, oh the ever loving OIL gets here). So, please know that my life does NOT suck, I just don't do well when my expectations aren't met, and by the by, my expectations are high.
• After we ran the 1/2 in March, I have probably not run 13 miles in TOTAL since then. I had a little of a weird injured knee, and a LOT of feeling sorry for myself because things weren't exactly.how.I.wanted. and we did a lot of wing eating and beer drinking which is not that condusive to jogging and push-ups.
• Yesterday, I started training for the Rock and Roll Half Marathon in Virginia Beach, VA on Labor Day weekend. Hotel booked. Registration paid. Pat Benetar and REO Speedwagon, here I come. Oh, but can I say that I am pissed at myself that 5K is really hard again? oh well. The journey, right?
• I am the same weight as January, so that is a small victory. However, I am on day 2 of counting points. This is the furthest I have gotten in months. Maybe this time it will stick again, and I get back to talking about how awesome I am at getting healthy, healthy, healthy. That got replaced with moody, moody, bitchy.
• Summer work is going swimmingly. And I am not even being facetious.

So there you have it. I think my head is just about right, and even though I have been quiet, I have been paying attention to the good, the bad and the ugly in your lives. I hope to become more active on your blogs and in your lives again, if you will have me.

fatstuff and green babies

All I can manage to do these days is wrap myself in Mr. P, my fat dog, and my new plant babies (which I even took pictures of to liven up this post, but I don't have the patience to wait for them to load).

Things are overwhelming to say the least, and while I am good at regaling you with trivial tales of people calling me the wrong name, venting about my mother, or teasing Mr. P, when it comes to the big, real, meaty stuff, I get too many thoughts swirling around that when I sit down to write and my brain gets all scrambled and sad so I switch to Facebook where I can post ridiculous one-liners about how I laughed at Mr. P for recording "America: The Story of Us" and he told me if I would watch things like that I could live up to my trivia playing potential, or how I planted some peppers in Topsy Turvy planter (hence the green babies), or how we spent Friday afternoon at the lake. Nice. Simple. Surface.

I need to write about Relay for Life and what walking. and walking. and then walking some more meant to me. I need to vent how my team let me down. I need to tell how Mr. P took perfect care of me and everyone else in our 'camp' that night. I need to talk about how thrilled I was that I had so many donations from friends around the country. AND, I need to give someone some downright awesome and funky pants. Today was step one, putting some words behind my voice. Tomorrow may there be substance. And free pants.

Well, maybe not tomorrow, it is my TWENTY FIRST anniversary, but definitely Thursday for sure.

when is enough really enough?

First off...let me just assure everyone that I did NOT go all shooty when I was denied tenure...as alas, I still.don't.know whether I got tenure. However I got word that the decisions have been made, letters printed and are awaiting signatures and 'hopefully' will go out tomorrow. They will come through campus mail and I should know Wednesday after lunch at the very latest. Hopefully. Hopefull.y.

Now that that is cleared up I have two big things that I want to tackle today, and a million little things I want to tell you about because stuff has happened, but let's get the big stuff done today so you can decide whether to block my IP address, or ban me to Reader purgatory, I completely understand if you choose either.

Here goes: I can't live without some of the blogs I read. BUT, there are some blogs that I definitely have to break up with. Some bloggers just, to be completely honest, annoy the fuck out of me, and for some convoluted reason I believed that if someone EVER commented on my blog I OWED them blog loyalty for now and ever more. I was finding that if I opened my Reader and certain people had blogged, I felt dread at reading those posts and then just wouldn't read any posts because I felt all guilty and angsty and blech. I know some people tag blogs at Good, Better and Best and read down as time permits, but I find if I have anything 'unread' I am anxious about that as well.

Here is what is stuck in my craw: I have read posts about what annoys people about blogs, Facebook and Twitter and frankly, I don't give a shit about what people put on Facebook or Twitter...I find the mundane chatter to be interesting. I don't mind knowing about your child's potty progress (chances are I want to know, that is why we are friends on Facebook), or what you are having for snacks on the train. Here is what gets me all upset and twisty: bloggers who don't know their place in the blog hierarchy or WORSE, want to be considered an expert in something whether it be weight loss or running or photography or mothering or beastiality or any combination of the above when they just are not. I don't want to be your fan on Facebook, I don't want to Twitter about your contest, or link to you on my blog unless I WANT TO...I just want to know what makes you tick and how you are and really, who annoyed the fuck out of you and why and what curse words you said (either out loud or in your mind) and maybe who you want to have fantasy sex with (this week I am into the Skipper of the Swedish curling team, YES, I know he is a tiny baby, but he is so pretty.) So that is where my head is at. Charming, no?

Plus, keep in mind that I am very NON-confrontational so don't ask me if you annoyed me, because chances are I will say, "NO, I love your blog" because either I do love your blog or I don't want to read your blog, but I don't want to tell you that I don't want to read your blog because I don't want to hurt your feelings even though I do think you are annoying as hell. I feel better and worse all at the same time. So, on to another issue that is very important to me:

How many t-shirts is the appropriate amount of t-shirts? I have not counted, but I probably have 50, which I know is TOO many. Mr. P says to keep 5, which I know is TOO few. What is the baby bear of t-shirts? AND, for the t-shirts that must depart my wardrobe, do I throw them away, or donate them? Seems weird to donate a t-shirt. But I totally will if that is appropriate.

let the irritating tone commence....

I am going off the air for February. Blogging isn't working for me right now. I am having a hard time with lots of things that I don't really think are mine to blog about, at least until I get stuff straight in my head and I get some clarity and closure on other stuff. The pressure of NOT being able to blog about what I am going through at the moment is bothering me a surprising amount to the point that thinking about blogging makes my guts twist up.

There are other things too: I am not managing my relationships the way I know I can. I am not eating right. I am not running. I am not going to the gym. I am going through the motions to get through my classes, but I am not progressing on research or any of my other responsibilities in that arena. My house is a disaster both from a clean/dirty and organization/CLUTTERFUCK standpoints.

It isn't that I am (not) doing these things BECAUSE of blogging, I just feel like I want a quick fix on control and choosing to step away from blogging is how I choose to do that.

While I am gone I hope to have lost some weight, gotten back on the 1/2 training program, and gotten my house in 'company' shape. We will have signed a new lease. I will go over 100 miles on the brand new car I bought last Friday. (A YELLOW Chevy Cobalt)*. I will have participated in a faculty meeting that divides our faculty, and I will have had to choose a side. I will have had a mammogram, celebrated Mr. P's birthday, run in 4 races (one 10K, three 5K's), finished all the reviews I have piled on my desk, submitted a proposal for a grant, and hopefully, will have a letter from the University Prez stating I have tenure.

Catch you on the flip side of February, hopefully a less melodramatic flake!

*(That purchase, while I love the car, is an example of how I am kind of not myself lately and I need to re-center, to be all hippy dippy about it.)

life isn't fair

Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair to be happy and have what you want when other people don't and you know that they probably deserve it more than you do.

Friday Hotch Potch

I haven't done one of these in awhile, but working within my own rules and standards for NaBloPoMo, I really don't have anything that is completely post worthy on its own, so here is what I got:

• For you runner/jogger/walker types: when you are between training cycles, what is your running/jogging/walking routine? The 1/2 marathon training program I want to do (from the Nike + site) starts on December 15 and I need to get my long run up to 8 miles by then, but I am used to looking at a schedule for my mileage. I took off Monday and Tuesday, ran 3 on Wednesday and 4 yesterday. Thoughts, suggestions, links to other training programs that you like??? HELP ME. HELP ME.
• I have an excited stomach because Mr. P is on his way home and we are going out to lunch and then to see 2012. We love the distaster movies. The more over the top, the more unrealistic, the more buildings and monuments and HOLLYWOOD signs toppling over, the better! Mr. P called me at work a few months ago to direct me to the trailer. We talked about going out of town this weekend, but then didn't because the movie starts.
• Just writing that blurb about us not going out of town this weekend made me realize that I think my office neighbor is getting married tomorrow. Guess we weren't invited. Can't decide if I am relieved or hurt.
• During the all day rain fest of Ida my office got flooded. It is wet and smelly. I have worked at home since. I use the term work very loosely because I found a blog about a polyamorous relationship that is fascinating me and I just keep reading, reading and backreading it some more.
• After last week's success at journaling every bite and getting close on drinking all the water for the Holiday Health Nut Challenge I have not done either. at all. all week. I haven't made bad choices necessarily, but I am making a lot of CHOICES if you get my drift. Notice how I slide that news right into a little bullet point?
• On Wednesday night driving my mom was chatting about stuff she bought for the apartment which happen to include all kinds of stuff we all like, Diet Dr. Pepper, a puzzle, Scrabble, stuff to bake cookies, etc. As she walked into her apartment I looked at Mr. P and said, "Okay. I am done being mad at her now." And I think that I am. I am still snotty to her out of habit, but am trying to check that a bit better. I jogged to her house yesterday to visit a bit, and Mr. P went there for coffee before work this morning. But don't fret, she will still be ridiculous!

Hotch Potchery, OUT!

Official Holiday Kickoff

I love everything Thanksgiving/Christmas. I used to be able to keep my shiznit together and hold off on Christmas until after Thanksgiving, but then a few years ago I succumbed to 'mall' mentality and now as soon as the spiderwebs come down from Halloween, I start gearing up for Christmas. I have already bought 3 new ornaments and am beginning to plan my gingerbread masterpiece of 2009...maybe it will be better than 2008?

Anyway, the holiday season kicked off to a grand start when we DOMINATED the costume contest and our town's Halloween Block Party and Trick or Treating.

While Mr. P's idea of having clear shower curtains serve as our 'shakers' was a good one...it didn't translate that well in pictures. Steve was taking the picture, but you can see his costume over at Penny's place. We won a stellar gift bag that included a water bottle, a $5 off pizza coupon, and giant eyeball bath fizzies. SCORE.

Oh, and again this year I have decided to do NaBloPoMo...wish me luck!

Blog Action Day: Climate Change

Last year I participated in Blog Action day because the topic felt so REAL to me, poverty. Mr. P, the kiddos and I lived under the poverty line for several years and in many, many ways it was horrible. But last night, the College Kid asked me what my favorite years were. Interestingly, they are those same years, and the pain of sitting at the Food Stamp office, having our power turned off, and writing a bad check at Kmart for Christmas toys is starting to give way to the memories of starting our Christmas Dinner tradition, two tiny kids in life jackets in the apartment complex pool for hours on end, dollar movies, and studying at McDonald's so the kids could play and we could have free drink refills.

But that is not what today's topic is. Today's topic is Climate Change, which is interesting because I have been in the midst of my own climate change experiment ever since visiting the Museum of Natural History in NYC in August. I do not have a car. I have been bumming rides and riding the U's transit system. I am walking much more. I am burning less fossil fuels. I am reducing my carbon footprint.

I am miserable. I want a car for myself. I want to go back to playing tennis two mornings a week, without having to get up an hour earlier so I can walk to the tennis courts if I don't feel it. I want to be able to go get pedicures. But yesterday was the deal breaker...sorry climate change, I want a car. Yesterday morning I got up at 5am to run and it was pouring and dark. Couldn't go. BUT, if I had a car, I could have just gone to the gym. WHAT? I want a car so I spend time at the gym????? Yikes. I also want to be able to go to lunch at my favorite place and sneak off to matinees on weekdays. I want to be MOBILE. Yes, I could do all of these things with advanced planning and taking the FREE public transportation, but I want to live on a whim. Not very GREEN of me.

Even though I will be quitting my public transportation experiment after only two months plus whatever time it takes me to find a sufficiently sweet ride, Mr. P and I will continue to recycle. Mr. P will still follow me around and turn off lights and televisions that I am not using. Next summer we will do the same thing as this summer (we kept our A/C up TWO degrees from last year) and we will rarely turn the heat on the winter.

What are you doing to reduce your carbon footprint?

two birds...

one post. Awhile ago after I had a mini-freak out about the blog that is now a major motion picture, Creative Kerfuffle had an idea that I take photos while I jog, a la the chick in the Yes Man. Then, as part of the 15 Week Challenge, our workout challenge this week was running, and documenting the running in photos....so here some photos of my normal route:

Let's get started:

One of my favorite parts is checking out how many turtles are getting some sun: Okay 5 minutes in:
Can you see how STEEP this is???

ahh, pretty flower:

Scary millipede:

Lots of wishes to be made:

Home stretch...my house is right past those speed bumps on the right, and while you can't really see it, there is a chipmunk standing on the left part of the street in the shadows:

3.1 miles!

all is whelmed

I am completely overwhelmed with all the stuff that is going on (starting on my tenure packets, going to freshmen orientation with my baby, coordinating and then going on a camping weekend with a buttload of friends, writing finals, getting back to healthy, healthy, healthy), and with all the stuff that is about to be going on (working on research, developing a course I have to teach in NYC on August 1, getting said freshmen packed up and moved out) that I have just failed miserably at being a blogger, let alone a good blogging friend. I partially blame my move to Reader...I read on my iPhone, but commenting is a pain from the Reader on the IPhone so I just don't. Plus, I think I offended a blogger that I really like, and I am pretty bummed about that, so in the style of being a pouty baby I just quit blogging all together.

I hope I haven't lost all readers, and I really do want to get back with it...I miss you guys, I just am really out of it. I really want to catch up with all of you, and to tell you the story of how I taught my class for.an.hour. with my fly open. FLY. OPEN. Thank god Bea shamed me into new panties...at least they were cute and pink. I also saw The Hangover, and have to say I am so ashamed that I laughed the entire.movie. It is bad people. Awful. So fucking funny. AND, I lost 2 lbs, so am on the cusp of losing new weight this week.

I now have horrendous cramps and am going to bed. sob. sob. whine.

realization

I had an epiphany today. It will be obvious to the rest of you, but somehow it was escaping me for the last couple of weeks. Dudes, I am still fat. Yes, I am less fat than I was, and yes, I am healthier than I was, and for both of those things I am grateful and acknowledge the journey I have made towards becoming a healthy, healthy, healthy me. But today, I had to admit to myself, that my journey is far, Far, FAR from over. far. really, pretty far.

It happened at the gym. I was at Body Pump with Mr. P sweating, working hard, feeling strong, and looked up to check my form in the mirror. I looked through all the reflections, and when my eyes settled on the right person, I was TRULY surprised at how big I still am. It was quite shocking and disheartening.

To help myself regroup and refocus, I joined a running challenge with Natasha from Creating Natasha. A group of bloggers are working on the Couch to 5K program. Since I already completed that program during the first leg of my journey, and I wanted to play the running challenge and I am stuck on a running plateau, I used my handy, dandy Excel spreadsheet and converted the program to a Couch to 5 MILE program. I really liked the schedule of the program, the increasing intensity, the feeling of accomplishment and the feel of interval training.

Theoretically I still have 100 pounds to lose (to get to a 'healthy' weight for my height). I have been blind to my weight for years, and while it definitely stings to be reminded, I needed it.

green is not my best color

Before I started reading blogs, and way before I even started this blog, I read a book about a guy who read the entire Encyclopedia Britannica. I liked that he had a goal, and worked through it. I don't remember how I found it, but right after that I found a blog about a chick who was working her way through a Julia Child cookbook. She then turned that blog into a book, and now Nora freaking Ephron turned it into a movie with Meryl Streep.

I never had the idea to cook all 524 recipes in Julia Child cookbook and chronicle my adventures. It isn't like she scooped me or slighted me in ANY way whatsoever, but last night when I saw the trailer, I was bizarrely envious that her blog got turned into a movie.

Seeing that ad has inspired me. Instead of sitting here pouting that I don't have a movie, I need to be proactive and find my own list to accomplish and chronicle and get a movie....I am not sure that running 5K's with a double barrel water belt is going to cut it. UNLESS, I decide to run a 5K in all 50 states....mmm.

Let's see...what else? The whole Kama Sutra? no. my sister and kids read this, and I don't think Nora E. is up for porn, plus I think CK is already doing that. Going to 52 zoos in 52 weeks? NO, someone else is doing that. Live in each of the towns on the top 100 places to live list for one month? That would probably get expensive. Eat only McDonald's for a month? Damn, been done.

I am out of ideas, so here is the thing. I want to do something list-like, fun, and inexpensive and fairly quick to get over with because I bore easily (in fact, I am almost over it already). In addition, it needs to be SO awesome that I get a movie deal. If you suggest the right one, and I do it and get a movie deal...I will totally cut you in and send you free movie tickets. and maybe a TGIFriday's gift certificate, so you could go to dinner. and. a movie. damn. that is a good prize.

Because I am a planner and I have faith that someone will send me the exact.right thing to do to get a blog/book/movie deal, I need to start narrowing down the list of who should play me. At least we have already established that Denzel Washington will play the role of Mr. P.

recovering

Last week was an emotional rollercoaster. After getting the great news Monday, we celebrated. After the horrific Wednesday, we commiserated and mourned and we have moved to the recovery phase. Some of you may think I have gotten to the recovery stage too soon...honestly, I just can't do the sad thing for very long, I can do it DEEP and FAST and DEEP again, but I don't have the stamina to sustain. I loved my dog. I hate that she is gone, I had her for 38% of my life, and it is weird not having her around now. I have read and re-read my post about her and all of your wonderful, comforting comments and cried at least once every day, until today. Today I remembered that she also used to sleep in the bathtub, (we figure it was the only place she could keep cool in our tiny Texas duplex), and I smiled.

During all of this, I didn't count points and kind of fell apart from a health perspective. I tried to make some healthier choices (I drank Michelob Ultra and ate veggie pizza, mmm. Not buying those as the 'healthier choices' ? yeah. so anyway...), and I managed to get out and run 3 times. I provided myself with excellent rationales the whole.week. Even until just TWO minutes ago when I had a 100 Calorie pack of Orea Cakesters and some fruit snacks even though I am not hungry. I just wanted it, and damn it, insert excuse here, I am going to have it.

I am mad at myself now that all those other emotions aren't in there to fuck with me, it is going to suck to have to lose the same weight AGAIN next week that I lost last week, but that is the way the Oreo Cakesters crumble.

On a related, but sort of completely different note: Thanks for being there for me. My sister is great support, and Mr. P rocked as well, but my Dad, well, he wrecked his truck, and my mom, well, she let me talk for 4ish minutes before we talked about her dog that died (which for my mom is actually quite good), so it was really, really amazing to know that there were 28 people across the world who felt bad that Nala died with me. I switched to Google Reader during my crappy days, because I wanted to read, but didn't have the words to comment other than, "thanks for saying you were sorry my dog died" and that was getting pretty depressing, even though really, really thanks for saying that.

Some of you did some pretty cool things that I loved reading about, even when I was feeling pretty sorry for myself:

Bea, I LOVED that you decked out as Batman and friends...that 5K time was rocking. AND, I have a picture of me and Mr. P with Rick Perry outside our duplex. Seth McKinney (TAMU center) lived next door and his dad and the gov were BFF.
Ashley, those crepes look SO good, and I am so happy for you that the little brother called to tell you about his successes, that means a lot.
Kilax, I hope I get to the point where I need to refuel with Jelly Bellies, not oxygen! What do you do about water? I am parched after 2K every.single.time.
Nilsa, it is really cool that you got out there and helped in that neighborhood...I need to get involved like that, and thanks for the reader tutorial.
Tara, your garden makes me GREEN with envy. I love it. LOVE it. AND, thanks so much for the commercial, it made me laugh.
Tracy, I love your photo comparisons, it is crazy how time goes by so fast.

Look how presumptuous I am that these bloggers will actually read this post...now it is kind of making me nervous and antsy that I am being too presumptuous. There are many more comments I want to share, and other bloggers did some cool stuff too, and I plan on spending some time tomorrow catching up with everyone.

I needed the time away, but I missed you guys!

Weird HotchPotch

I think I might be spending too much time reading blogs. I have started dreaming about bloggers.

~Awhile ago Swistle asked her readers to guess her baby's real name. I guessed Owen. That night, I dreamt that she called me to tell me how ridiculous my guess was because clearly his name is Marshall.

-Last night I had a dream that I was at the aquarium and Bea worked there, and insisted on brushing my hair while we watched passers by. Then, she told me that she thought Kevin Bacon was hott and she was thinking about leaving J. for him.

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Today I went to a local pizza place for lunch (one slice of broccoli pizza with a side spinach salad). There was a dude sitting next to me working on his computer. He got a phone call and during the conversation he said, "Yeah, I am sitting at the bar, 3 hours from home, drinking tea and eating a salad." Here's the thing. He was eating HUMMUS and drinking a GUINNESS.

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I am very disturbed that my Thursday Survivor habit is pre-empted for basketball. I like the March Madness just fine, but NOT DURING SURVIVOR. That being said, my Aggies did win this morning. On the subject of sports, I think tomorrow will be a very sporty day. An afternoon baseball game, then my school is in the NIT (the basketball tournament for the losers who didn't make the big tournament) and we are thinking about going to the game. They have hotdogs there. 8 points baby, and worth every single one of them. I don't eat a lot of meat, but man, I love hotdogs.

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I really thought I had 4 bullet points, but I am out. OH, Mr. P met Sam Sheppard today. Now, I am out.