I want to write, I think about writing, but I seem to spend all my online time playing on my farm on Facebook.
I have been thinking about how TIME, simple TIME can resolve so many issues. This time last year I was really struggling with my children, now we are all in a much better place, and while I want to write about it, I need to warm up my writing muscles with a story that my elder child reminded me about a few days ago.
When my kids were in elementary school we had to drive them. Mr. P handled this duty pretty often because my office was the opposite direction, and their school was sort of on the way to his school. One day, Mr. P realized they were pretty early (VERY RARE) and asked the kids if they wanted to grab donuts and chocolate milk before school...and of course, they said yes. So he did a quick look in the mirror, changed lanes and got ready to turn towards the donut spot. My elder child was SHOCKED and asked, "How did the car know that you changed your mind???"
(She thought the turn signals told the driver when to turn.)
This is the child that took the MCAT today and wants to be a doctor. :)
Showing posts with label kiddos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kiddos. Show all posts
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Who's life is it anyway?
About a year ago, I was set to post about my weight loss, self-sabatoge circle and why I thought that was occurring. I was actually about halfway through writing that post when I got a call from my daughter that jarred me, and it has taken about a year to wrap my head around everything that has happened as a result of that call. She is FINE, not hurt, not sick, perfectly fine. What we discussed in that phone call is her story to tell, her life, not mine, so I won't go into that here. And maybe that right there is the crux of quite a bit of what has been happening with me. I am realizing at a certain point that our kids are no longer OUR kids. They are integral, important HUGE GIANT portions of our life, but guess what? Their lives are THEIRS. To try, to learn, to make mistakes and to have victories and all that goes along with figuring out who they are and who they want to be. When kids are little, and YOURS, you make their decisions and you make sure they are safe and happy and warm. But now? They have to figure out how to live their lives so that they can create their own safety and happiness and warmth. Parenting has never been tougher, the lows have never been lower, but the highs have never been higher. The pride that comes from watching your adult children make good decisions that will lead them to happiness, safety and warmth is divine.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Grieving for my family of four
Last summer when our children seemed to take a VERY long time to gain employment, Mr. P and I discussed our financial culpibility with respect to their lack of sticktoitedness. I remember being very financially stressed for most of my adult life, and I really, really wanted to spare them that particular stress so they could concentrate on school. I didn't pay for everything, because I think working is important---we left them to pay for their electricity and cable and food and $140 each for their rent, and I would pay the remainder ($200 of their rent, car insurance, car repairs, cell phones, medical stuff). We made this deal when they both had full scholarships and were getting about half again their tuition refunded to them for expenses.
Over time, they lost those scholarships due to lack of attending their classes (from what I gather). Mr. P and I downsized significantly so that we could absorb more of their finances...granted we were ready to move, but I was too chicken to buy a house in case the kids needed money. It became the norm that I paid all the rent for both of them every month without a word from either one...no "is there work I can do for you" or "thank you so much for covering us" no nothing, and I kept paying it. And in restrospect, I shouldn't have allowed that to go on for so long.
Now I am grieving for the life I wanted them to have. I wanted them to leave college with a great undergrad and no debt, with some financial stress to learn the value of a dollar, but not enough that they lay awake at night trying to figure out what to sell on Ebay to keep the power on. That life is gone. Mr. P and I did the best we could, and apparently we just didn't get the job done, and unfortunately that means my kids are starting their adult lives without the solid base of education that I would have preferred.
As of March 1, 2011 I am no longer paying any bills for my kids. That was a VERY hard decision to come to and after I told them last night I cried. CRIED hard, first reaction to grieving, right? Well denial is likely first, which is what I did for a long time when I just paid for stuff regardless of their school progress.
So they have 2 months (really 3, since I will pay bills on March 1) to figure out their finances and get employment at a level that will support their spending habits. I have two months (really 3) to let go of being a parent to a child and instead become a parent to an adult. And while I think both kids really want that, I think we are all going to struggle with how that changes the family dynamic.
BYE "Family of Four". We had a great run.
Now we are a family of TWO with two adult children.
It is time.
Over time, they lost those scholarships due to lack of attending their classes (from what I gather). Mr. P and I downsized significantly so that we could absorb more of their finances...granted we were ready to move, but I was too chicken to buy a house in case the kids needed money. It became the norm that I paid all the rent for both of them every month without a word from either one...no "is there work I can do for you" or "thank you so much for covering us" no nothing, and I kept paying it. And in restrospect, I shouldn't have allowed that to go on for so long.
Now I am grieving for the life I wanted them to have. I wanted them to leave college with a great undergrad and no debt, with some financial stress to learn the value of a dollar, but not enough that they lay awake at night trying to figure out what to sell on Ebay to keep the power on. That life is gone. Mr. P and I did the best we could, and apparently we just didn't get the job done, and unfortunately that means my kids are starting their adult lives without the solid base of education that I would have preferred.
As of March 1, 2011 I am no longer paying any bills for my kids. That was a VERY hard decision to come to and after I told them last night I cried. CRIED hard, first reaction to grieving, right? Well denial is likely first, which is what I did for a long time when I just paid for stuff regardless of their school progress.
So they have 2 months (really 3, since I will pay bills on March 1) to figure out their finances and get employment at a level that will support their spending habits. I have two months (really 3) to let go of being a parent to a child and instead become a parent to an adult. And while I think both kids really want that, I think we are all going to struggle with how that changes the family dynamic.
BYE "Family of Four". We had a great run.
Now we are a family of TWO with two adult children.
It is time.
Monday, December 20, 2010
So, I think NABLOPOMO is officially a fail, no?
Considering my last post in November was the 12th.
Things have been, to say the least, hectic. OH MY BLOGGY HELL. I just typed a whole paragraph about why things have been so hectic, and I was re-reading it, and fucking hit some button and it was GONE. As I was saying. I still haven't finished all my grading for my fall course. I graded twenty exams today, and have one project left for tomorrow. SHEW.
Also today I have done 732 loads of laundry, including all the bedding in my house. My children have been staying here for a couple of weeks while I have been away, and apparently they go to bed with their shoes on and let the duvets drag all over the floor...both white duvets were FULL of dog hair and floor dirt. SUPER YUCK. They also apparently each use 14 blankets a night, each of which were left on the floor at some point. I was SO aggravated, but the goal of them staying here is that my dog is okay and not fretting over being alone, and he seems good, so mission accomplished.
On the subject of my very messy children, I am trying not to be very upset with them and have a happy Christmas, but it is proving difficult. Our son quit going to classes in October, which results in all F's, and he lied about it until about 2 weeks ago when I caught him in a lie about finals. (HINT: When your Mom is a professor at the same University, don't try to lie about finals timing.) So he is not going to go to school at all. Our daughter lost her job in October, and still does not have a job. She also quit going to school in October, but has worked it all out, and is going back in January with a different major.
I know they are young, and have to find their own way, but I feel like we have completely failed. Both of our kids are very smart, funny and creative. BUT, I think they are a bit lazy and do not realize what effort real life takes...every.damn.day. We are about to have to take a major.stand. and the thought of it makes me so anxious I haven't slept longer than two hours in a row for weeks and weeks. So, in a nutshell, that is why I haven't been posting. I didn't want to put it out there because I am embarrassed that I did not instill better sticktoitedness (I am pretty sure that is a real world) in my kids.
Things have been, to say the least, hectic. OH MY BLOGGY HELL. I just typed a whole paragraph about why things have been so hectic, and I was re-reading it, and fucking hit some button and it was GONE. As I was saying. I still haven't finished all my grading for my fall course. I graded twenty exams today, and have one project left for tomorrow. SHEW.
Also today I have done 732 loads of laundry, including all the bedding in my house. My children have been staying here for a couple of weeks while I have been away, and apparently they go to bed with their shoes on and let the duvets drag all over the floor...both white duvets were FULL of dog hair and floor dirt. SUPER YUCK. They also apparently each use 14 blankets a night, each of which were left on the floor at some point. I was SO aggravated, but the goal of them staying here is that my dog is okay and not fretting over being alone, and he seems good, so mission accomplished.
On the subject of my very messy children, I am trying not to be very upset with them and have a happy Christmas, but it is proving difficult. Our son quit going to classes in October, which results in all F's, and he lied about it until about 2 weeks ago when I caught him in a lie about finals. (HINT: When your Mom is a professor at the same University, don't try to lie about finals timing.) So he is not going to go to school at all. Our daughter lost her job in October, and still does not have a job. She also quit going to school in October, but has worked it all out, and is going back in January with a different major.
I know they are young, and have to find their own way, but I feel like we have completely failed. Both of our kids are very smart, funny and creative. BUT, I think they are a bit lazy and do not realize what effort real life takes...every.damn.day. We are about to have to take a major.stand. and the thought of it makes me so anxious I haven't slept longer than two hours in a row for weeks and weeks. So, in a nutshell, that is why I haven't been posting. I didn't want to put it out there because I am embarrassed that I did not instill better sticktoitedness (I am pretty sure that is a real world) in my kids.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
We return to our regular angsty programming
We did a few things really right with our kids when they were growing up, but we have also done a few things really, really wrong.
We never taught our elder child how to deal with failure or criticisim, constructive or otherwise. As a result, when she gets any type of negative feedback she reacts so strongly that she turns little issues into huge issues, and huge issues into NON-issues because she retreats and doesn't deal with them at all.
There are a couple of instances that should have clued me in, there was this time she obviously had something in her mouth (which turned out to be a butterscotch) and she denied it to the point of hysterics. Another time, she had a cold Mountain Dew in her room, but denied taking it, to the point of slamming doors and more hystrionics. There are other instances, but honestly, reprimanding her wasn't something that had to happen much, as she really is a great kid...she did well in school, she was respectful to her teachers and coaches, and she was a good athlete. She excelled at most things, so there wasn't much room for "instruction" so to speak, but I should have realized earlier and worked on that with her, but I was lazy and just ignored it for the most part.
But now, she is at a point in her life where she is not handling herself or her responsibilities very well, and I feel helpless. Trying to talk to her is very difficult because she is so very defensive and quickly blames me or her brain chemistry for her decisions or lack there of.
I now am forced to wait and see what she does with herself. It makes me sad that she is sad, but it makes me annoyed that in order for her to do the things that she is supposed to do needs to be happy. We all have crappy stuff, and we have to work through it. From what I know, she is not in school. She is not working. I am not sure how she is spending her days. In response, I turned off her cell phone and the car insurance. I am still paying her rent because I am the guarantor.
It sucks.
We never taught our elder child how to deal with failure or criticisim, constructive or otherwise. As a result, when she gets any type of negative feedback she reacts so strongly that she turns little issues into huge issues, and huge issues into NON-issues because she retreats and doesn't deal with them at all.
There are a couple of instances that should have clued me in, there was this time she obviously had something in her mouth (which turned out to be a butterscotch) and she denied it to the point of hysterics. Another time, she had a cold Mountain Dew in her room, but denied taking it, to the point of slamming doors and more hystrionics. There are other instances, but honestly, reprimanding her wasn't something that had to happen much, as she really is a great kid...she did well in school, she was respectful to her teachers and coaches, and she was a good athlete. She excelled at most things, so there wasn't much room for "instruction" so to speak, but I should have realized earlier and worked on that with her, but I was lazy and just ignored it for the most part.
But now, she is at a point in her life where she is not handling herself or her responsibilities very well, and I feel helpless. Trying to talk to her is very difficult because she is so very defensive and quickly blames me or her brain chemistry for her decisions or lack there of.
I now am forced to wait and see what she does with herself. It makes me sad that she is sad, but it makes me annoyed that in order for her to do the things that she is supposed to do needs to be happy. We all have crappy stuff, and we have to work through it. From what I know, she is not in school. She is not working. I am not sure how she is spending her days. In response, I turned off her cell phone and the car insurance. I am still paying her rent because I am the guarantor.
It sucks.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Greetings from my kitchen floor
I am sitting in the corner of my kitchen on the floor because that is the only place I can sit. All of our belongings are either outside in the Mobile Attic, or stacked up in the breakfast nook because the entire rest of the house is carpeted and the carpets are being cleaned right now. The oven, refrigerator, bathrooms, all baseboards, chair rail, spider webby corners and fan blades have been cleaned. The inside of the windows. The sheers have been taken down, washed and re-hung. (Except the set that was MINE that Mr. P ruined. "by accident". He hated those flowy flowery drapes, I know it.) Decks have been sprayed down.
When I was showing the carpet guys the layout of the house I remembered the day we arrived from Texas. The CK and I were ahead of the boys, and we could not even believe how HUGE this house was. It is pretty immense. 3 living rooms. 4 bedrooms. 3 bathrooms. Dining room. Kitchen. Laundry room. Breakfast nook. Screened in porch. Deck. On a huge lot, on a little lake. We were amazed at our good fortune. (We rented it sight unseen as we couldn't take a trip East before we had to get place.) We had always lived on top of each other, and in this house we could really spread out. I am not happy with the status of our family right now, and I wonder if it is we really don't function as well spread out as we do right on top of each other. But spread out is how it has to be, and as excited as I am for this phase in all of our lives, right now, I really, really miss that day that we were all so happy to be here in this house.
OH, and I got struck my lightning on Saturday.
When I was showing the carpet guys the layout of the house I remembered the day we arrived from Texas. The CK and I were ahead of the boys, and we could not even believe how HUGE this house was. It is pretty immense. 3 living rooms. 4 bedrooms. 3 bathrooms. Dining room. Kitchen. Laundry room. Breakfast nook. Screened in porch. Deck. On a huge lot, on a little lake. We were amazed at our good fortune. (We rented it sight unseen as we couldn't take a trip East before we had to get place.) We had always lived on top of each other, and in this house we could really spread out. I am not happy with the status of our family right now, and I wonder if it is we really don't function as well spread out as we do right on top of each other. But spread out is how it has to be, and as excited as I am for this phase in all of our lives, right now, I really, really miss that day that we were all so happy to be here in this house.
OH, and I got struck my lightning on Saturday.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Missing simplicity
Today I was in a bookstore and there was a mom and her two little kids looking at books and I had a crazy sad feeling of nostalgia for summers past when we were poor and trying to keep our shit together with school and bills and then on top of that trying to figure out how to keep two kids entertained on little time and even less money. Lots of swimming, $1 movies, entire afternoons at the McDonald's playground, kids coaching me through Pokemon Shoot (a video game where you mimic taking photographs of the elusive Pokemon guys, and that might be the wrong name).
I am feeling sad for those times because my kids and I are struggling with our relationships right now. I feel like they are not handling their shit appropriately, and I bet they feel like I am micromanaging and judging them and they are most definitely right. I am wholeheartedly trying to protect them from their dumb ass baby adult selves as I wish someone would have done for me. BUT, I guess we are getting close to a point in their lives where I have to let them do whatever it is they are going to do...regardless of the repercussions. That is just a very hard lever to pull.
I am feeling sad for those times because my kids and I are struggling with our relationships right now. I feel like they are not handling their shit appropriately, and I bet they feel like I am micromanaging and judging them and they are most definitely right. I am wholeheartedly trying to protect them from their dumb ass baby adult selves as I wish someone would have done for me. BUT, I guess we are getting close to a point in their lives where I have to let them do whatever it is they are going to do...regardless of the repercussions. That is just a very hard lever to pull.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
in TRAINING
I officially started my half marathon training today with a 4 mile run that I had to complete in the rain since that is all it has done here in days. and days. and days.
There is some stuff going on 'round Chez Potchery...nothing BAD in itself per se, but pile on a bunch of moderately troublesome stuff and it gets to feeling like a giant pile of shit. Anyway, that stuff has kept me from wanting to blog at all because I want to write about how I feel about the stuff that is going on, but really? They aren't my stories to really blog about in depth if that makes sense. Nothing is going on with ME, stuff is going on with other people that matter to ME.
Oh, but in stuff I can blog about? I took my kids car away. I am very conflicted over this. I feel guilty for taking the car, but relieved because now I can get some stuff done that I have needed to do. When I see grades for this semester I will reevaluate my position.
In Challenge news? I stayed the same weight this week, which is a good thing. I did not log my food. boo. I did not drink 80 oz of water. double boo. There was an additional challenge to try something new...so when I roasted veggies the other night I included brussel sprouts and got everyone to try them (me, Mr. P, CK and CK2). We all agreed that the first one or two are cool, but then they get over-powering. Not sure they will get moved into our permanent repetoire.
I hope to shake these blahs soon, because I sure do miss the blogoshere!
There is some stuff going on 'round Chez Potchery...nothing BAD in itself per se, but pile on a bunch of moderately troublesome stuff and it gets to feeling like a giant pile of shit. Anyway, that stuff has kept me from wanting to blog at all because I want to write about how I feel about the stuff that is going on, but really? They aren't my stories to really blog about in depth if that makes sense. Nothing is going on with ME, stuff is going on with other people that matter to ME.
Oh, but in stuff I can blog about? I took my kids car away. I am very conflicted over this. I feel guilty for taking the car, but relieved because now I can get some stuff done that I have needed to do. When I see grades for this semester I will reevaluate my position.
In Challenge news? I stayed the same weight this week, which is a good thing. I did not log my food. boo. I did not drink 80 oz of water. double boo. There was an additional challenge to try something new...so when I roasted veggies the other night I included brussel sprouts and got everyone to try them (me, Mr. P, CK and CK2). We all agreed that the first one or two are cool, but then they get over-powering. Not sure they will get moved into our permanent repetoire.
I hope to shake these blahs soon, because I sure do miss the blogoshere!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Race Day!
Act 1
So luckily Mom decided she wanted to ride 1.5 hours to the race and back with us this afternoon! Maybe she can tell more stories like this:
(Precursor to story...Mom calls me and asks where she should go get a tire...someone put an arrow in her tire and ripped off her front license plate, so I told her Walmart and another local place that Mr. P uses for such needs.) And no, it wasn't Penny or I. I think.
Mom: I go to [not one of the places I mention] and ask them about a Goodyear tire and they had a Michelin for $110.
Me: Why did you ask me where to go if you were going to pick somewhere else?
Mom: Then I went to Walmart and they had the exact tire I wanted for $85 including installation and everything.
Me: Well, good.
Mom: A midget did it.
Me: They don't really like that word.
Mom: Oh, well I didn't say that to his face.
Me: Okay good.
Mom: (in a somewhat surprised voice) Anyway, he was nice.
Me: You don't say.
*********
Act 2
Last night was opening night of Miracle Worker. I have to say CK2 played quite a douche...and he did quite a good job! i actually enjoyed the story much more than I thought I would. Mom, Mr. P, Penny, and College Kid went and sat behind some people who will probably not want to be our friends...not even on Facebook. Yeah, we are those people, whispering a commentary and eating candy, albeit quietly during the play.
BUT, I almost lost it at one point:
Mrs. Keller: Eva, do you want a pickle?
Eva: You know how I love a pickle.
Simultaneously, one at my right and one at my left, Mr. P and Penny, "That's what she said."
*****
Act 3
I am well carbed and hydrated and I have my playlist ready to go assuming we can use the iPods. It is supposed to be gorgeous weather this afternoon, and I am actually really looking forward to the run. If the title of my post tomorrow is "Fuck that Trolley" you may want to avoid reading if you have an aversion to strings and strings and strings of cursing!
So luckily Mom decided she wanted to ride 1.5 hours to the race and back with us this afternoon! Maybe she can tell more stories like this:
(Precursor to story...Mom calls me and asks where she should go get a tire...someone put an arrow in her tire and ripped off her front license plate, so I told her Walmart and another local place that Mr. P uses for such needs.) And no, it wasn't Penny or I. I think.
Mom: I go to [not one of the places I mention] and ask them about a Goodyear tire and they had a Michelin for $110.
Me: Why did you ask me where to go if you were going to pick somewhere else?
Mom: Then I went to Walmart and they had the exact tire I wanted for $85 including installation and everything.
Me: Well, good.
Mom: A midget did it.
Me: They don't really like that word.
Mom: Oh, well I didn't say that to his face.
Me: Okay good.
Mom: (in a somewhat surprised voice) Anyway, he was nice.
Me: You don't say.
*********
Act 2
Last night was opening night of Miracle Worker. I have to say CK2 played quite a douche...and he did quite a good job! i actually enjoyed the story much more than I thought I would. Mom, Mr. P, Penny, and College Kid went and sat behind some people who will probably not want to be our friends...not even on Facebook. Yeah, we are those people, whispering a commentary and eating candy, albeit quietly during the play.
BUT, I almost lost it at one point:
Mrs. Keller: Eva, do you want a pickle?
Eva: You know how I love a pickle.
Simultaneously, one at my right and one at my left, Mr. P and Penny, "That's what she said."
*****
Act 3
I am well carbed and hydrated and I have my playlist ready to go assuming we can use the iPods. It is supposed to be gorgeous weather this afternoon, and I am actually really looking forward to the run. If the title of my post tomorrow is "Fuck that Trolley" you may want to avoid reading if you have an aversion to strings and strings and strings of cursing!
Friday, November 6, 2009
It's a miracle!
Tonight is another edition of 'Dinner and a Show'. We will be attending the community theater production of "Miracle Worker", which for those of you who aren't up on your Alabamians, it is the story of Helen Keller and her teacher, Anne Sullivan.
But we aren't that interested in Helen Keller or Anne Sullivan...we are attending because we adore JAMES Keller. Why, oh, why do we have our hearts set on James? ahhh, because CK2 is playing James!! This is his first "adult" theater experience, I am really excited to see it even though I am not convinced that it is a story I am that interested in...I know, right? I kinda suck. We also get to feel very fancy and go to the window and get our comped tickets...all the stars get those and can "leave them at the window". Awesome.
On the subject of CK2 I had to play the pissed off mom card on him yesterday...I read a letter from his Dean that CK2 had not written a thank you for his scholarship, and the Dean had asked him 3 times already. I was NOT pleased. And CK2 got a text, voicemail and FB message instructing him to write.the.damn.letter. Dude, it is a $2,000 letter...just write the fucking thing already.
I wholeheartedly agree that my ingrate child should definitely thank the person who provided him that scholarship and also should have done it when the Dean first requested him to do so (hence the angry mother voice mail)...but the letter? I think it was completely inappropriate in verbiage and tone. I don't believe that that a Dean should ever threaten a kid "...if you intend to keep your scholarship", or write things like, "if I were the benefactor I would question why someone was so ungrateful and question whether you were a wise investment. Certainly there are other students who would be much more grateful ."
Maybe that is why there is a search for a new Dean in that school.
OR, am I just being one of "those" Mom's ?
But we aren't that interested in Helen Keller or Anne Sullivan...we are attending because we adore JAMES Keller. Why, oh, why do we have our hearts set on James? ahhh, because CK2 is playing James!! This is his first "adult" theater experience, I am really excited to see it even though I am not convinced that it is a story I am that interested in...I know, right? I kinda suck. We also get to feel very fancy and go to the window and get our comped tickets...all the stars get those and can "leave them at the window". Awesome.
On the subject of CK2 I had to play the pissed off mom card on him yesterday...I read a letter from his Dean that CK2 had not written a thank you for his scholarship, and the Dean had asked him 3 times already. I was NOT pleased. And CK2 got a text, voicemail and FB message instructing him to write.the.damn.letter. Dude, it is a $2,000 letter...just write the fucking thing already.
I wholeheartedly agree that my ingrate child should definitely thank the person who provided him that scholarship and also should have done it when the Dean first requested him to do so (hence the angry mother voice mail)...but the letter? I think it was completely inappropriate in verbiage and tone. I don't believe that that a Dean should ever threaten a kid "...if you intend to keep your scholarship", or write things like, "if I were the benefactor I would question why someone was so ungrateful and question whether you were a wise investment. Certainly there are other students who would be much more grateful ."
Maybe that is why there is a search for a new Dean in that school.
OR, am I just being one of "those" Mom's ?
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I kinda knew, but they yet again confirmed...
My kids are awesome people. They are smart, funny, and beyond sweet to their 3-year old cousin. The way they treat him makes me feel like I did a decent job as a parent, something I question quite often, because I know that Mr. P and I butchered a LOT of things.
Eli (Penny's son) wanted to be Blue for Halloween (from Blue's Clues), so we jumped on board and will have Blue, Magenta, Steve, Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper, Paprika and Mailbox. We MADE all the costumes. MADE them. Just wait until you see the pictures...we are going to be awesome.
Anyway, College Kid, Penny and my mom came over for a bit this afternoon and we finished up the "shakers", and then I logged into Facebook for some quick farming, and I came across this video:
This is my 18 year old, college freshman, making his Mailbox costume so that he could participate in family trick or treating this evening. In public. Downtown. College Kid will be there too in all her Paprika splendor.
I wouldn't have done this for my cousins. I barely would have done it for my kids. But here are my kids freely and happily doing it for their cousin.
Yup, Mr. P and I did something right, even if it were purely genetic and/or accidental!
Happy Halloween!
Eli (Penny's son) wanted to be Blue for Halloween (from Blue's Clues), so we jumped on board and will have Blue, Magenta, Steve, Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper, Paprika and Mailbox. We MADE all the costumes. MADE them. Just wait until you see the pictures...we are going to be awesome.
Anyway, College Kid, Penny and my mom came over for a bit this afternoon and we finished up the "shakers", and then I logged into Facebook for some quick farming, and I came across this video:
This is my 18 year old, college freshman, making his Mailbox costume so that he could participate in family trick or treating this evening. In public. Downtown. College Kid will be there too in all her Paprika splendor.
I wouldn't have done this for my cousins. I barely would have done it for my kids. But here are my kids freely and happily doing it for their cousin.
Yup, Mr. P and I did something right, even if it were purely genetic and/or accidental!
Happy Halloween!
Monday, October 5, 2009
What a weekend!
Our weekend was jammed packed...
FRIDAY:
FRIDAY:
- I signed up to be on our college's Relay for Life team. One of my colleagues lost her ex-husband to pancreatic cancer a few months ago, and another colleague is fighting colon cancer with every breath he has. I need to do more things were my perspective focuses on all the things that is RIGHT with my life.
- Mr. P and I got our pictures taken at CVS and then went to the courthouse to apply for new PASSPORTS! We decided to take the kiddos on a fun trip, but I can't say anymore about that. Mr. P swore me to secrecy.
- We did a little shopping for said trip, and I got two dresses from a DEPARTMENT STORE. Yup, you read that right. It was awesome. I tried the dresses on this morning and they fit right now, but should look great at trip time.
- Mr. P took me to see Whip It. When we were leaving Mr. P said, 'ehh, I liked it but won't have to own it'. Not me. It is a re-watch for me mos def. Due to my angsty angsty self, I fell in love with the song during the final credits. It took me most of Friday evening, but I found it (not on the soundtrack). It is 28 by Lorene. I can't find it anywhere to post for you, but I did find her MySpace page.
SATURDAY:
- Set an alarm for Saturday morning to get in a nice 5 miler in the crisp morning air. Really cool part? I actually got up when the alarm went off and went on a GREAT run. Mr. P did too.
- Mr. P and I picked up Eli and took him to an event at the local forest preserve. Creepy Crawlies. Eli LOVED it and showed no fear, except with the Hissing Roaches. Smart boy.
- Took a lunch break because Mr. P and I were going to keep Eli overnight on Saturday so Penny and Teddy could attend Penny's 15th reunion. Went to a new Italian restaurant and I skipped all the parmigiana, and went for a veggie pasta in a wine sauce. It was delish.
- After Eli's rest, we took him to the playground where he proceeded to get a split lip, and I had a stroke. Took him to Target to play with all the toys, got him a DVD and a football, then took him out for dinner and let him watch his DVD. Took him home, got him bathed and in bed and then watched our football game. 5-0. Awesome.
SUNDAY:
- Fed Eli breakfast and went on another run. I meant to do 2 miles, but ended up going 3.5 miles instead. About halfway through I rolled my ankle, and while I was able to keep going, it has been throbbing ever since. I have iced it and kept it up. I will be devastated if my training gets interrupted.
- Penny and Teddy arrived home, and Mr. P and I took the opportunity to go meet some friends to watch some NFL.
- Came home to a house with NO POWER. Lit a bunch of candles, got settled in, and the lights came on...and which time Mr. P made me a dinner of grilled cheese and vegetable soup. mmmmm.
It was a fantastic weekend filled with all the stuff we love the most! Hope your weekend rocked as well.
OH, I weighed in today, no loss. no gain. But, things are 'shifting' around. Yesterday I was about to go on my run and Mr. P said, "WOW, your legs are getting skinny". AND AND, I just got my teaching evaluations from the summer and they were great. My boss alluded to the outside letters he got for me and where he can't tell me anything, he gave me a big grin. Maybe, just maybe, I will survive all this.
:)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Body fluid removal kit
yeah, that sign attached to a teensy white suitcase looking dealy attached to the dashboard of the transit bus didn't instill much confidence in me this morning.
Yes, I am still doing the transit thing. I am still working on healthy, healthy, healthy...am actually in my second week of 10K training...not to do a 10K at any pace per se, but to complete one whilst completing the jogging motion the entire time on November 7. I am doing well on POINTS for the first 4 or so days of the week, then comes socializing all weekend and when I socialize I tend to drink beers and eat food. All this together means my weight is dropping ounces per week, but the key term is DROPPING and I can live with that for now.
I turn in my tenure dossier a week from today and am working on my teaching philosophy and research philosophy as well as revising a few papers and starting a new one, so my writing energy has been directed towards those endevours....I end up having no words left for blogging or commenting.
I have fun stuff coming up that should offer blog fodder that is not "whoa is me, I am fat", or "whoa is me, trying to get tenure sucks". Maybe tomorrow I will lighten the mood and tell you about how Mr. P has discovered farming on Facebook and posts PICTURES of his farm nearly daily. Or how my son just wrote a script and he and some friends are going to film a movie---they are even trying to convince one of the sub-managers at the movie theater to show it once. How my daughter got to have dessert with a Nobel prize winner yesterday...she was selected from an entire college due to her research efforts. Or how my nephew is dreaming of the day he can get tiny again so that he is free to poop in his pants. naaaahhh. "Whoa is me" is much more how I roll these days.
Yes, I am still doing the transit thing. I am still working on healthy, healthy, healthy...am actually in my second week of 10K training...not to do a 10K at any pace per se, but to complete one whilst completing the jogging motion the entire time on November 7. I am doing well on POINTS for the first 4 or so days of the week, then comes socializing all weekend and when I socialize I tend to drink beers and eat food. All this together means my weight is dropping ounces per week, but the key term is DROPPING and I can live with that for now.
I turn in my tenure dossier a week from today and am working on my teaching philosophy and research philosophy as well as revising a few papers and starting a new one, so my writing energy has been directed towards those endevours....I end up having no words left for blogging or commenting.
I have fun stuff coming up that should offer blog fodder that is not "whoa is me, I am fat", or "whoa is me, trying to get tenure sucks". Maybe tomorrow I will lighten the mood and tell you about how Mr. P has discovered farming on Facebook and posts PICTURES of his farm nearly daily. Or how my son just wrote a script and he and some friends are going to film a movie---they are even trying to convince one of the sub-managers at the movie theater to show it once. How my daughter got to have dessert with a Nobel prize winner yesterday...she was selected from an entire college due to her research efforts. Or how my nephew is dreaming of the day he can get tiny again so that he is free to poop in his pants. naaaahhh. "Whoa is me" is much more how I roll these days.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
I think his hair is in the trash
One of the great things about Penny et al. moving to Alabama is our new founded family dinner night each and every Wednesday evening. Penny, Teddy, Eli, CK, CK2, Mr. P and I gather and go out to eat at one particular spot that we used to take CK and CK2 for dinner when they were just a year or two older than Eli is now. Tonight, as usual, Eli was the star of dinner, even though it was slightly at Mr. P's expense.
Eli was sitting in between CK and Teddy, and in the midst of coloring, this conversation took place:
Eli: MR. P., where is your hair?
(Mr. P is not bald per se, but does wear his do "high and tight" if it were.)
Penny: Eli, where do you think his hair is?
Eli: In the trash.
Then we all died from laughing right there at the restaurant. Well, except Mr. P and he took his sweet time reviving us. OH, and then we got laughing really hard just TALKING about this clip:
Eli was sitting in between CK and Teddy, and in the midst of coloring, this conversation took place:
Eli: MR. P., where is your hair?
(Mr. P is not bald per se, but does wear his do "high and tight" if it were.)
Penny: Eli, where do you think his hair is?
Eli: In the trash.
Then we all died from laughing right there at the restaurant. Well, except Mr. P and he took his sweet time reviving us. OH, and then we got laughing really hard just TALKING about this clip:
Monday, September 7, 2009
the Fat God's smiled upon me...
and even with the JOKE of an effort I put forth towards being healthy, healthy, healthy since Thursday, I managed to lose .8 lbs this week. I will take it! I have already run today, and am trying to decide what to put on the menu at Chez Potchery this week...but before I get all excited about my lower BMI, and Fat Score of 84.53%, I owe my sister an apology...so I put it out here on the Interwebs.
Penny hosted a Labor Day barbecue at her house yesterday for all of us. She put out carrot sticks and almonds for snacks, and then made a salad and chicken kabobs and No Pudge brownies. Had some diet sodas and sangria. She had us all set for a supreme healthy day. Enter Hotch and fam. We brought chips. dips. hotdogs. chips. and tabouli. So we sabotaged her efforts at keeping it completely healthy. (In all selfishness, Mr. P and I took our leftover tailgate food to her house so that we would have.to.share. and now it is all gone, and we are ready to start over with natural, healthy stuff). Our bad decisions on Saturday should NOT have carried over to putting chips onto her plate yesterday. For that I am apologizing, and I pledge to work on being better.
BUT...in retrospect, as a complete family, we have come quite a ways. We had several bouts with food throughout the afternoon and evening (we went over for an 8 hours visit). First, we had chicken and veggie kabobs, grill potatoes (potato/onion/tsp butter/hot sauce), some veggies with dip, watermelon, tabouli. Interspersed with chips (some Baked Lays, some Ruffles) and dip. Dessert was No Pudge brownies. Then we played---whiffle ball. dodge ball. soccer. running through the sprinkler. Maybe a total of two-ish hours outside. Then Trivial Pursuit with some Salt and Vinegar chips, watermelon and some more brownies. Then we topped off the day with hotdogs: Jalapeno/Cheddar Oscar Mayer on wheat buns.
Yes, there was a LOT of food, in may be hard to believe, but in fact, as a family, are getting better. In the past we would have had MORE chips (we heart us some chips). lots of beer. not much playing outside, if any. lots of hotdogs, burgers, potato salad, cookies, candy. maybe pizza. or wings. or pizza and wings.
The major thing I took from this weekend aside from great times with friends, a dynamite win in college football and being oh so happy to get to have an 8 hour barbecue with my whole family is that Mr. P and I still have quite a ways to go with respect to not letting food steal the entertainment spotlight!
While food is still the star of our show, it's shine is beginning to dim....
Penny hosted a Labor Day barbecue at her house yesterday for all of us. She put out carrot sticks and almonds for snacks, and then made a salad and chicken kabobs and No Pudge brownies. Had some diet sodas and sangria. She had us all set for a supreme healthy day. Enter Hotch and fam. We brought chips. dips. hotdogs. chips. and tabouli. So we sabotaged her efforts at keeping it completely healthy. (In all selfishness, Mr. P and I took our leftover tailgate food to her house so that we would have.to.share. and now it is all gone, and we are ready to start over with natural, healthy stuff). Our bad decisions on Saturday should NOT have carried over to putting chips onto her plate yesterday. For that I am apologizing, and I pledge to work on being better.
BUT...in retrospect, as a complete family, we have come quite a ways. We had several bouts with food throughout the afternoon and evening (we went over for an 8 hours visit). First, we had chicken and veggie kabobs, grill potatoes (potato/onion/tsp butter/hot sauce), some veggies with dip, watermelon, tabouli. Interspersed with chips (some Baked Lays, some Ruffles) and dip. Dessert was No Pudge brownies. Then we played---whiffle ball. dodge ball. soccer. running through the sprinkler. Maybe a total of two-ish hours outside. Then Trivial Pursuit with some Salt and Vinegar chips, watermelon and some more brownies. Then we topped off the day with hotdogs: Jalapeno/Cheddar Oscar Mayer on wheat buns.
Yes, there was a LOT of food, in may be hard to believe, but in fact, as a family, are getting better. In the past we would have had MORE chips (we heart us some chips). lots of beer. not much playing outside, if any. lots of hotdogs, burgers, potato salad, cookies, candy. maybe pizza. or wings. or pizza and wings.
The major thing I took from this weekend aside from great times with friends, a dynamite win in college football and being oh so happy to get to have an 8 hour barbecue with my whole family is that Mr. P and I still have quite a ways to go with respect to not letting food steal the entertainment spotlight!
While food is still the star of our show, it's shine is beginning to dim....
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
empty nesting
I am sitting alone in my house, the only things I can hear are the dryer, air conditioner, and now the clickety clack of my laptop keyboard.
The baby bird moved (partially, we will move the rest of the stuff tomorrow using Penny's moving truck) into his very own nest at 1pm today. I went with him to pick up his keys, and to get a look, since I hadn't seen it yet. It is a cute apartment, pretty big, and a very.sweet.bathroom.
The baby bird moved (partially, we will move the rest of the stuff tomorrow using Penny's moving truck) into his very own nest at 1pm today. I went with him to pick up his keys, and to get a look, since I hadn't seen it yet. It is a cute apartment, pretty big, and a very.sweet.bathroom.
As he drove away I told him to text when he got there, and then again every 5 minutes. I was kidding. sort of.
I guess I can catch up with all his goings on when we meet him for dinner tonight at 6pm.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
my PhD is being severly compromised
by my own lack of, well, of something...maybe common sense, maybe regular sense, but man, something is preventing all my synapses from firing...a few examples:
~My sister and I are sitting across my dining room table from each other (when she was blogging about my mother actually) and I am writing down an address with a dry erase type pen.
Me:mmm, this pen smells good...kinda almondy
Penny: Let me see. (sniffs the pen), I don't smell anything.
Me: Yeah, I totally smell it and it smells good.
(ding, ding, ding)
Me: OH. It is me. (I have some delicious almondy butter body wash).
Penny: Idiot.
As a precursor to the next story I have to tell you that we have a LOT of inappropriate conversations around Chez Potchery under regular circumstances...'that's what she said' is one of my favorite things to say. Well, you add my sister, and it gets WAY worse. Anyway, last night, we were all relaxing and we start talking about names for porn movies, and we ended up on UrbanDictionary. Then Penny started laughing and telling me how her and College Kid got laughing hysterically over Donkey Punch Toboggan. So, of course, I look up Donkey Punch. I will wait a second if you need to see what it means. (ETA: But you do NOT need to know to appreciate the end of the story.)
Me: Well, what do you have to do to make it a toboggan?
Penny: Do it downstairs.
Me: Like in your house? In the basement?
Penny: NO, do it GOING down the stairs.
AHHHH. hence toboggan.
There is also a story about how I couldn't figure out how to open the gas cap on the rental car, and I almost had to drive to Mr. P's office so he could show me, then I forgot to put it back on and I thought the car was breaking down, but I don't have time to tell you because I am cooking dinner for College Kid 2 because he MOVES.OUT.TOMORROW.
~My sister and I are sitting across my dining room table from each other (when she was blogging about my mother actually) and I am writing down an address with a dry erase type pen.
Me:mmm, this pen smells good...kinda almondy
Penny: Let me see. (sniffs the pen), I don't smell anything.
Me: Yeah, I totally smell it and it smells good.
(ding, ding, ding)
Me: OH. It is me. (I have some delicious almondy butter body wash).
Penny: Idiot.
As a precursor to the next story I have to tell you that we have a LOT of inappropriate conversations around Chez Potchery under regular circumstances...'that's what she said' is one of my favorite things to say. Well, you add my sister, and it gets WAY worse. Anyway, last night, we were all relaxing and we start talking about names for porn movies, and we ended up on UrbanDictionary. Then Penny started laughing and telling me how her and College Kid got laughing hysterically over Donkey Punch Toboggan. So, of course, I look up Donkey Punch. I will wait a second if you need to see what it means. (ETA: But you do NOT need to know to appreciate the end of the story.)
Me: Well, what do you have to do to make it a toboggan?
Penny: Do it downstairs.
Me: Like in your house? In the basement?
Penny: NO, do it GOING down the stairs.
AHHHH. hence toboggan.
There is also a story about how I couldn't figure out how to open the gas cap on the rental car, and I almost had to drive to Mr. P's office so he could show me, then I forgot to put it back on and I thought the car was breaking down, but I don't have time to tell you because I am cooking dinner for College Kid 2 because he MOVES.OUT.TOMORROW.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
really, really REAL
CK2 just packed up half my kitchen to take to his new apartment.
WOW.
I know I have talked about looking forward to my 'empty nest' for a long time, I even had a countdown ticker on my MySpace eons ago. And while I am completely looking forward to being with Mr. P and accomplishing all of our goals related to work, fun and health...maybe I am sadder than I realized that my kids are all grown up.
Or maybe I just really liked those dishes....
WOW.
I know I have talked about looking forward to my 'empty nest' for a long time, I even had a countdown ticker on my MySpace eons ago. And while I am completely looking forward to being with Mr. P and accomplishing all of our goals related to work, fun and health...maybe I am sadder than I realized that my kids are all grown up.
Or maybe I just really liked those dishes....
Friday, July 17, 2009
two weeks
In two weeks I turn 40, and my life is SIGNIFICANTLY changing.
The next day I leave for NYC for a business meeting, Mr. P won't arrive until several days later. While this trip is some work, I am looking forward to doing some really touristy things since due to the next point, I might not be back that way for awhile.
Six days later I head to my sister's for my nephew's THIRD birthday party and then to return to Alabama with sister and nephew. At that point they will have MOVED to Alabama. The day after that, Mr. P and my brother-in-law should arrive in Alabama with all the stuff and the animals...we will all bunk at our house.
Three days after that my son will move into his apartment, and my sister and her family will move into their house.
Four days after that my daughter will return home from camp and move into apartment with son, the same day that Fall semester starts. I teach graduate classes in the Fall. More intense.
Where the fuck did the summer go?????? While all the changes are so exciting, it is kind of overwhelming me a bit.
In the next two weeks I have to get the house 'company clean' again. How did we destroy it in 2 months?
I have to prep my class for the Fall (I likely won't make it to the office during the week of everyone moving), and the class I am teaching on the trip. I have to prepare a different presentation for same trip. I have to make sure that CK2 takes underpants and socks to college. I have to finish a research paper, and actually conduct a pilot test on a new study (what was I thinking taking on something new?), and complete two more paper reviews.
I spent all spring looking forward to summer so that I could chill a bit, and now I find myself looking forward to fall so that I can chill a bit. Will this ever stop?
The next day I leave for NYC for a business meeting, Mr. P won't arrive until several days later. While this trip is some work, I am looking forward to doing some really touristy things since due to the next point, I might not be back that way for awhile.
Six days later I head to my sister's for my nephew's THIRD birthday party and then to return to Alabama with sister and nephew. At that point they will have MOVED to Alabama. The day after that, Mr. P and my brother-in-law should arrive in Alabama with all the stuff and the animals...we will all bunk at our house.
Three days after that my son will move into his apartment, and my sister and her family will move into their house.
Four days after that my daughter will return home from camp and move into apartment with son, the same day that Fall semester starts. I teach graduate classes in the Fall. More intense.
Where the fuck did the summer go?????? While all the changes are so exciting, it is kind of overwhelming me a bit.
In the next two weeks I have to get the house 'company clean' again. How did we destroy it in 2 months?
I have to prep my class for the Fall (I likely won't make it to the office during the week of everyone moving), and the class I am teaching on the trip. I have to prepare a different presentation for same trip. I have to make sure that CK2 takes underpants and socks to college. I have to finish a research paper, and actually conduct a pilot test on a new study (what was I thinking taking on something new?), and complete two more paper reviews.
I spent all spring looking forward to summer so that I could chill a bit, and now I find myself looking forward to fall so that I can chill a bit. Will this ever stop?
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Deja Vue
Two summers ago we were getting the College Kid ready to be the College Kid. Oogling towels and kitchenware and discussing the merits of toasters and whether a blender is really necessary for a dorm room. About a month before school started, College Kid was on her way to work, and rear ended a pickup truck and dislocated her toe (she was driving wearing flip flops). We spent a day at the doctor getting it all relocated...and it was this day that I realized something about my kid...she still cries LOUD.
I don't know if you understand what I mean...but think about a toddler crying, all loud and noisy and unrestrained. Then, while crying doesn't stop, the WHALING noises seem to stop at some age, and crying becomes more sniffling and tears. However, that switch never turned on this kid. I could hear her from the waiting room HOWLING. Mr. P had to come from work because I couldn't handle it. She was a pathetic, hobbling mess for days on end. Even now, she will complain about her lopsided toes.
Flash forward to yesterday morning, two years to the day almost (it could be exact, but I don't remember). I had just returned from my run, and I was dishing out some watermelon and CK2 (which he seemingly has dubbed himself), limped into the kitchen. I looked down and one of his toes was PURPLE and there was a crazy big bruise on the top of his foot.
Me: WHAT happened?
CK2: yeah, I might have broken my toe last night
Me: Should you go to the doctor?
CK2: mmmm, I think they are closed right now.
WHAT???? Since when are doctors closed at 11 am on a TUESDAY???
So I made a MOM decision and said, "Get ready, we will get your TB test for school at the same time."
Diagnosis? He jammed his toe, and this part makes me cringe, the doctor said it went WAY up in his foot. ugh. pain. But he is all calm and nonchalant...while we waited for his prescription for some pain pills we browsed the college aisles at WalMart and went to lunch. Then today he went and got a new cell phone and seems to be just fine, gimpy some, but overall fine.
So, apparently, for my offspring, you must do harm to a toe as a precursor to beginning college.
I don't know if you understand what I mean...but think about a toddler crying, all loud and noisy and unrestrained. Then, while crying doesn't stop, the WHALING noises seem to stop at some age, and crying becomes more sniffling and tears. However, that switch never turned on this kid. I could hear her from the waiting room HOWLING. Mr. P had to come from work because I couldn't handle it. She was a pathetic, hobbling mess for days on end. Even now, she will complain about her lopsided toes.
Flash forward to yesterday morning, two years to the day almost (it could be exact, but I don't remember). I had just returned from my run, and I was dishing out some watermelon and CK2 (which he seemingly has dubbed himself), limped into the kitchen. I looked down and one of his toes was PURPLE and there was a crazy big bruise on the top of his foot.
Me: WHAT happened?
CK2: yeah, I might have broken my toe last night
Me: Should you go to the doctor?
CK2: mmmm, I think they are closed right now.
WHAT???? Since when are doctors closed at 11 am on a TUESDAY???
So I made a MOM decision and said, "Get ready, we will get your TB test for school at the same time."
Diagnosis? He jammed his toe, and this part makes me cringe, the doctor said it went WAY up in his foot. ugh. pain. But he is all calm and nonchalant...while we waited for his prescription for some pain pills we browsed the college aisles at WalMart and went to lunch. Then today he went and got a new cell phone and seems to be just fine, gimpy some, but overall fine.
So, apparently, for my offspring, you must do harm to a toe as a precursor to beginning college.
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