Tuesday, August 11, 2009

my PhD is being severly compromised

by my own lack of, well, of something...maybe common sense, maybe regular sense, but man, something is preventing all my synapses from firing...a few examples:

~My sister and I are sitting across my dining room table from each other (when she was blogging about my mother actually) and I am writing down an address with a dry erase type pen.

Me:mmm, this pen smells good...kinda almondy
Penny: Let me see. (sniffs the pen), I don't smell anything.
Me: Yeah, I totally smell it and it smells good.
(ding, ding, ding)
Me: OH. It is me. (I have some delicious almondy butter body wash).
Penny: Idiot.

As a precursor to the next story I have to tell you that we have a LOT of inappropriate conversations around Chez Potchery under regular circumstances...'that's what she said' is one of my favorite things to say. Well, you add my sister, and it gets WAY worse. Anyway, last night, we were all relaxing and we start talking about names for porn movies, and we ended up on UrbanDictionary. Then Penny started laughing and telling me how her and College Kid got laughing hysterically over Donkey Punch Toboggan. So, of course, I look up Donkey Punch. I will wait a second if you need to see what it means. (ETA: But you do NOT need to know to appreciate the end of the story.)

Me: Well, what do you have to do to make it a toboggan?
Penny: Do it downstairs.
Me: Like in your house? In the basement?
Penny: NO, do it GOING down the stairs.

AHHHH. hence toboggan.

There is also a story about how I couldn't figure out how to open the gas cap on the rental car, and I almost had to drive to Mr. P's office so he could show me, then I forgot to put it back on and I thought the car was breaking down, but I don't have time to tell you because I am cooking dinner for College Kid 2 because he MOVES.OUT.TOMORROW.


Penny said...

I said: you do it RIDING them down the stairs....

Tammie said...

1. i just googled donkey punch. i wish i hadnt. oh well.

2. i love inappropriate conversations. we have them quite often around here but they tend to be at the level of an 11 year old. but yes there is a lot of "thats what she said" and talk about "balls."

3. best of luck to college kid 2!!!!

Not Your Aunt B said...

Lemme tell you, if anyone ever donkey punched me, they wouldn't be getting their penis back. Well, that can be said for anal sex as a whole, 'cuz that's not how I roll. Not that there's anything wrong with that...

And donkey punch toboggan? I can just see them trying to tell triage what they were doing that landed them in the ER.

This is so the conversation I have with the hubs. And with my sister it is worse. Why is that?

Good luck to college kid!!!

Fatinah said...


PS: I had to google it too! I'm so old now, I can't even imagine how you would do that while sliding down stairs. sigh.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

I can't believe you didn't post the definition of Donkey Punch. It makes the story *that* much better. No seriously, it does. (Though, if you had posted the definition, I'm pretty sure spam would find its way over to your space. hahaha.)

wafelenbak said...

My Dad often tells me I am sometimes one of the stupidest smart people he knows. *sigh*
Also, E. and I spent farrrrr too much of our evening last night laughing over poo jokes and poo related things and the word poo itself.
Oh heck, I am giggling just typing it.

College Kid said...

We also laughed about Gorilla Mask for a good hour once. Penny and I have the greatest conversations. Totally appropriate.

creative kerfuffle said...

i'm w/ bea--if someone donkey punched me i'd pull a lorena bobbitt on them. i can't even figure out the logistics of making it a toboggan.
we are so inappropriate here too, even w/ the 12 and 9 year old. douche canoe is becoming more common around here and the boy relishes in all the ways to describe balls. yeah, we're classy here.

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