Considering my last post in November was the 12th.
Things have been, to say the least, hectic. OH MY BLOGGY HELL. I just typed a whole paragraph about why things have been so hectic, and I was re-reading it, and fucking hit some button and it was GONE. As I was saying. I still haven't finished all my grading for my fall course. I graded twenty exams today, and have one project left for tomorrow. SHEW.
Also today I have done 732 loads of laundry, including all the bedding in my house. My children have been staying here for a couple of weeks while I have been away, and apparently they go to bed with their shoes on and let the duvets drag all over the floor...both white duvets were FULL of dog hair and floor dirt. SUPER YUCK. They also apparently each use 14 blankets a night, each of which were left on the floor at some point. I was SO aggravated, but the goal of them staying here is that my dog is okay and not fretting over being alone, and he seems good, so mission accomplished.
On the subject of my very messy children, I am trying not to be very upset with them and have a happy Christmas, but it is proving difficult. Our son quit going to classes in October, which results in all F's, and he lied about it until about 2 weeks ago when I caught him in a lie about finals. (HINT: When your Mom is a professor at the same University, don't try to lie about finals timing.) So he is not going to go to school at all. Our daughter lost her job in October, and still does not have a job. She also quit going to school in October, but has worked it all out, and is going back in January with a different major.
I know they are young, and have to find their own way, but I feel like we have completely failed. Both of our kids are very smart, funny and creative. BUT, I think they are a bit lazy and do not realize what effort real life takes...every.damn.day. We are about to have to take a major.stand. and the thought of it makes me so anxious I haven't slept longer than two hours in a row for weeks and weeks. So, in a nutshell, that is why I haven't been posting. I didn't want to put it out there because I am embarrassed that I did not instill better sticktoitedness (I am pretty sure that is a real world) in my kids.
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9 comments:
hang in there. maybe find some ambien. :)
and i really dont think you have anything to be embarrassed about. your taking action now, which is the important thing.
I am watching you SO intently, for tips on how to deal with this. I don't think sticktoitiveness can be installed on the models I bought.
i really don't think you can take full blame for this. you clearly have shown by example how to work hard and stick with something in order to reach high goals. what more could you have done? i am curious about this though because i have been naively thinking once i get my smart, creative kids off to college all will be well. apparently that isn't a given huh? fuck.
Hey. You do the best you can and your kids have to turn into adults at some point, right?
My brother went to college on my parents' dime for almost four years. Flunking every single semester. Turns out, he hated that he was beholden to them for it and felt stifled in his choices because of their involvement in his finances. Well? The guy took a job at a restaurant as a bus boy, put himself through night school and now makes more money than either my sister or I. He had to do it on his own terms. No matter what my parents wanted for him.
Sometimes it takes those hard moments.
Don't feel bad! It is not your fault. They are influenced by other people besides you and your husband!
I am totally stealing the phrase "Oh my bloggy Hell."
Don't be embarrassed about your kids. My parents raised me with great examples and great values and I went off to college and partied my ass off. I'm sure they are good kids and they will find their way.
Not being a parent, I really have no great words of wisdom to offer, other than 1) Don't be too hard on yourself and 2) I'm sorry you're going through this. :(
Oh, the hard lessons of life and oh, the hard part that parents have to watch. It is frustrating figuring out how much to help and when to let go. Good Luck and here is hoping this too shall pass QUICK.
i'm STILL embarrassed about terrible non-sticktoitness choices i made when i was 20. uh, through like 25. but! i'm a lovely person and have supported myself since i was 21! kids have to make surprisingly awful decisions to get it out of their systems, i think :)
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