Saturday, November 7, 2009

Race Day!

Act 1

So luckily Mom decided she wanted to ride 1.5 hours to the race and back with us this afternoon! Maybe she can tell more stories like this:

(Precursor to story...Mom calls me and asks where she should go get a tire...someone put an arrow in her tire and ripped off her front license plate, so I told her Walmart and another local place that Mr. P uses for such needs.) And no, it wasn't Penny or I. I think.

Mom: I go to [not one of the places I mention] and ask them about a Goodyear tire and they had a Michelin for $110.
Me: Why did you ask me where to go if you were going to pick somewhere else?
Mom: Then I went to Walmart and they had the exact tire I wanted for $85 including installation and everything.
Me: Well, good.
Mom: A midget did it.
Me: They don't really like that word.
Mom: Oh, well I didn't say that to his face.
Me: Okay good.
Mom: (in a somewhat surprised voice) Anyway, he was nice.
Me: You don't say.
Act 2

Last night was opening night of Miracle Worker. I have to say CK2 played quite a douche...and he did quite a good job! i actually enjoyed the story much more than I thought I would. Mom, Mr. P, Penny, and College Kid went and sat behind some people who will probably not want to be our friends...not even on Facebook. Yeah, we are those people, whispering a commentary and eating candy, albeit quietly during the play.

BUT, I almost lost it at one point:

Mrs. Keller: Eva, do you want a pickle?
Eva: You know how I love a pickle.

Simultaneously, one at my right and one at my left, Mr. P and Penny, "That's what she said."
Act 3

I am well carbed and hydrated and I have my playlist ready to go assuming we can use the iPods. It is supposed to be gorgeous weather this afternoon, and I am actually really looking forward to the run. If the title of my post tomorrow is "Fuck that Trolley" you may want to avoid reading if you have an aversion to strings and strings and strings of cursing!


wafelenbak said...

Yes!! Go lady Go!!

Penny said...

Wednesday night when I was giving mom a ride home two Indian ladies (not Native Americans) were crossing the street and mom said "wow! they are really hard to see at night"

The day we went to her house and her tire was flat she told us that the two KIDS (probably 20 something college kids, I saw them) were probably terrorists...they are Middle Eastern...I told her never to say that shit around my kid and she said "oh I wouldn't"

Penny said...

Oh oh oh and you forgot how when the kids were changing the set and supposed to be doing it all quiet and inconspicuously CK1 asked if they were ghosts then it went like this

CK1: are they supposed to be ghosts
CK1: Did you say dead people or deaf people

ha ha ha...cuz it was Helen Keller...get it?

Penny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Penny said...

I deleted the above post because I posted the second comment twice. I'm done now

Shelley said...

Penny is cracking me up as much as your post did, HP!

Good luck with the race today - hope you avoid a ride on the trolley!

Jenn said...

Hah! Awesome!
Good luck with the race!!!

Swistle said...

I do so love that conversation with your mom. I do so love it.

DAVs said...

Oh my. I totally love your Mom. OK, you know what I mean--I love your retelling of her stories. I seriously think this will be your blog-turned-movie...or at least a best selling comedy book.

AND GOOD LUCK AT THE RACE!!! That trolley will be nowhere near you.

kilax said...

I can't wait to hear how the race went.

Hee hee, pickle :)

Fatinah said...

ok - HP AND FAMILY have got to take their act on the road. I'm telling you - your mom is your ticket to that movie deal!

Good luck with the race! can't wait to hear all about it!

Tammie said...

your mom is giving me high blood pressure.

creative kerfuffle said...

wow--ok, so your mom is killing me. does she watch little people big world? : ) ha. and i think sitting around watching anything with you guys would be hysterical.

creative kerfuffle said...

wow--ok, so your mom is killing me. does she watch little people big world? : ) ha. and i think sitting around watching anything with you guys would be hysterical.

Amy said...

I LOVE your stories. Thanks for the great entertainment!

Lucy said...

Your mother sounds like a hoot, well, because she is not my mom, I can see why she frustrates you.

I hate it when someone asks me something and they really already know the answer or what they are going to do, why bother asking me. I have better things to waste my time on!

Anonymous said...

It's "Pickles, Aunt Ev?" "Oh yes, you know how I love your pickles."


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