Today I was in a bookstore and there was a mom and her two little kids looking at books and I had a crazy sad feeling of nostalgia for summers past when we were poor and trying to keep our shit together with school and bills and then on top of that trying to figure out how to keep two kids entertained on little time and even less money. Lots of swimming, $1 movies, entire afternoons at the McDonald's playground, kids coaching me through Pokemon Shoot (a video game where you mimic taking photographs of the elusive Pokemon guys, and that might be the wrong name).
I am feeling sad for those times because my kids and I are struggling with our relationships right now. I feel like they are not handling their shit appropriately, and I bet they feel like I am micromanaging and judging them and they are most definitely right. I am wholeheartedly trying to protect them from their dumb ass baby adult selves as I wish someone would have done for me. BUT, I guess we are getting close to a point in their lives where I have to let them do whatever it is they are going to do...regardless of the repercussions. That is just a very hard lever to pull.