I had an epiphany today. It will be obvious to the rest of you, but somehow it was escaping me for the last couple of weeks. Dudes, I am still fat. Yes, I am less fat than I was, and yes, I am healthier than I was, and for both of those things I am grateful and acknowledge the journey I have made towards becoming a healthy, healthy, healthy me. But today, I had to admit to myself, that my journey is far, Far, FAR from over. far. really, pretty far.
It happened at the gym. I was at Body Pump with Mr. P sweating, working hard, feeling strong, and looked up to check my form in the mirror. I looked through all the reflections, and when my eyes settled on the right person, I was TRULY surprised at how big I still am. It was quite shocking and disheartening.
To help myself regroup and refocus, I joined a running challenge with Natasha from Creating Natasha. A group of bloggers are working on the Couch to 5K program. Since I already completed that program during the first leg of my journey, and I wanted to play the running challenge and I am stuck on a running plateau, I used my handy, dandy Excel spreadsheet and converted the program to a Couch to 5 MILE program. I really liked the schedule of the program, the increasing intensity, the feeling of accomplishment and the feel of interval training.
Theoretically I still have 100 pounds to lose (to get to a 'healthy' weight for my height). I have been blind to my weight for years, and while it definitely stings to be reminded, I needed it.