Guilt 1, Potcheries 0

After not being able to sleep worth a crap for the last two nights (post big boat visit), Mr. P and I decided today to not buy THAT big boat. We would have had to get a loan for part of it, and after a few days of soul searching, we decided to look for a boat a bit older, and a bit less expensive, and I finally feel more at ease and I am hoping that sleep comes to me tonight.



I should say WE didn't decide, Mr. P decided, but I am oh so glad. I won't tell him no when it comes to this because we have spent so much time doing what I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want to do it, that I want him to have this. Plus my rationale for saying no is that I feel guilty for doing something so awesome when I know my kids are struggling. I know that Mr. P and I have WORKED for what we have...but guilt has built a house of brick within my brain and I just can't get that damn thing blown down. (VERY obscure reference to the 3 Little Pigs, and I am not sure why I did that.)


Anyways, I have been sleeping shittily, and thus feeling shitty because I am a girl who's very existence is tied to sleeping, so today I decided to go for a nice walk because it was gorgeous and sunny and near 60 degrees and I was hoping good outside air would help me sleep. I walked to the park and then "played" on their exercise equipment.





I went to work, then home for red beans and rice, and then crocheted for a bit. I am definitely making progress. I think Mr. P is already quite tired of, "Look at this...does it look like real crochet?" "Hey, look...I made this CIRCLE just out of YARN", and "WOW, did you ever know I could be such a great crocheter???"

I might be done with my first "project" in about a week. Aren't you JUST SO EXCITED???

Might as well jump right on in.

This morning, Mr. P and I went to look at a boat. A BIG boat. It is a fantastic deal. It is exactly what we have been dreaming about buying. It could be our floating RV at the lake and the beach all summer. It has A/C and TV (besides water, my favorite two things of summer). We can afford it. We haven't completely decided, but we are fairly certain that we are going to give big boating a shot. We love little boating. big>little, so it stands to reason that big boating>little boating. Why then am I close to saying "No"? It is because I don't want to hurt our kids feelings that we are cutting them off the same time we are making a fairly extravagant purchase.



The boat was very close to a Bass Pro Shop, so we stopped to look at all the fish in their giant fish tank. It is sort of like a redneck aquarium in there.

Then we stopped at a craft store so that I could buy supplies for my crocheting.

I have managed to master the chain stitch and am getting better at a single crochet. I have spent most of the evening on this square shown on Mr. P's ankle to demonstrate scale. I think I might actually like crocheting, but I feel ultra old, with my bucket o'yarn and needles next to my chair. I will say, that holding the yarn and concentrating makes snacking pretty difficult.

So, on tap for tomorrow---start figuring out my workout/work routine that works with my class schedule, gym schedule and Mr. P schedule. Plus, I just remembered this afternoon that I have to present a paper at a conference on THURSDAY, so I may want to take a look at that.

Lightning only strikes once...

Last Saturday (or now two Saturdays ago), Mr. P and I were swimming in the lake when a big thunderstorm rolled in. We debated going to the marina for cover, but didn't think we would make it in time, plus we were participating in a poker run with about 30 other boats, and even if we got there, we wouldn't have a spot to park the boat. We decided to wait it out.

Rain started, no problem. Rumbling thunder, no problem. Lighting...ehh...maybe, a problem? But then I rationalized that even IF lightning hit the lake, the lake is SO huge that the electricity would dissapate, and while we might feel it, it certainly wouldn't kill us.

Little did I know that theory would be tested. We heard a loud crash and FELT a jolt at the same time as a flash of lightning hit the lake. DUDE. We didn't die, and really it didn't even hurt. It just felt, weird, like you just flexed all your muscles at once. Then I had a lingering feeling in my hip for about a minute, which I have decided healed me as I have run 5K twice this (last) week, no limping, no pain.

Not an incredibly exciting story, but man, I love saying, "I got hit by lightning."

I wrote this post a million days ago, but wanted a picture to accompany it, and I hadn't downloaded pictures since before we went to the Bahamas. yikes.

THEN, the pictures didn't turn out quite as well as I had hoped, so, sorry for the anti-climatic lightning post.

Bat shit crazy Alabama summer weather.

but...I like to eat candy

We had a great weekend. After work on Friday we hightailed it down to the beach. Got up early on Saturday morning and got loaded on the pontoon boat and had a really good day--we snorkeled, floated, ate food, repeat for the entire day. I am so glad we went, the oil is SO close to ruining a really gorgeous area.

Got up this morning, and went out for a leisurely breakfast, then Mr. P drove home like he was trying out for NASCAR so we could get to our school's baseball games. We are in the NCAA tournament, hosting one of the brackets actually. We won both games today, one easily, the other one was a nail biter. I am actually washing my exact outfit now so I can wear it to the championship game tomorrow afternoon!

But I digress, on to where the post title is coming from....

On the trip I was looking through my backpack for a band-aid and found a baggie of candy from when we went to Belize in MARCH. Tonight after we got home from the baseball game, I ate the gummies out of it, which left Mr. P's licorice candies. I handed them to him, and he said he hated stale candy and was going to throw it away if I wasn't going to eat it. Then we had this conversation:

Me: I love stale candy.
Mr. P: I hate it, I am going to throw this away.
Me: Yeah, that is okay, I tried to eat a piece and convince myself I loved licorice and it didn't work.
Mr. P: WHAT?!?
Me: I like to eat candy.

upper thigh maintenance

While this is completely embarrassing and as soon as I hit publish I am closing my laptop and leaving the house due to shame, I am in desperate shape, so here goes:

Now that it is boating season, and next week we will be at the beach, there are moments when my upper thighs are granted a viewing with the rest of the world. Normally they are covered. Not because they are fat (which they are), but because they are kind of, well, um. disgusting. In my quest to make them un-disgusting, I have made them worse.

Back story: about a month ago, I was sitting on the back of the boat in just my bathing suit (I forgot my coverall), and I looked down and I had horrendous BLACK and longish inner thigh hairs, which considering I have GREY face hairs is a lovely punch in the ass. (OH, and I am not talking about nether region hairs...not quite that upper, truly mid to upper thigh hair). So, as soon as we get home, I shave them off, and use some Apricot scrub to help soften the skin.

yeah, the long hair and scaly skin was better. NOW, I have what I can only describe as a horrible case of thigh acne. Razor bumps for WEEKS and since I have already overshared, some got scabby. For the love of Christmas, WHAT DO I DO?

ETA: I think many of you know, but the anonymous poster, "Tracy" is my sister. I almost didn't publish this post because I KNEW what her response was going to be. Just knew it. I don't remember when, but once we had this HUGE discussion about leg shaving and her thoughts are from toes to hip...nothing left out, and me, I am more of an ankle to knee kind of girl.

After I read her comment I texted her:

Me: I KNEW you were going to say that.
Her: Because I am so right!
Me: So if I always had I would have built up a resistance?
Her: Yes! Obviously
Me: I should have listened.
Her: Thank you.

Gotta love sisters. I hate to say it, but that might have just cost her 1 babysitting hour.

irritated to the max

I am at Panera, blogging, because I am completely irritated with everyone in my family. NOW, I know you are thinking...really, everyone? Could it maybe, possibly, by a slim margin of a chance really be YOU that is the problem and not everyone else???

Let's see.

College kid the first is working out of town this summer and told us of her desired departure date and would we be available to drive her to the airport 100 miles away. I checked with Mr. P and there is an activity he had already decided he wanted to do that day, so I informed said child that she would have to take the shuttle if that was the day she was leaving. Later I find out (on Facebook) that she bought a ticket for the day in question. I ask her about her departure time to find out it is earlier than the first shuttle could get her there. When I mentioned that, her response, "I figured since it was so early, you guys could still just take me."

umm. WHAT?

This weekend we planned a trip to the lake on the boat, leave Saturday lunchtime, set up camp, float around, get up early Sunday (today), take the kids tubing, lunch it on the water, then home to get ready for the work week. So, Saturday morning we try to roust the kids and they are not interested in camping, but want to come up to tube on Sunday. I tell the younger...you guys need to be up there by 10:30am, so we can get tubing before the CRAZY CRAZY boat traffic shows up and makes it too hard for our baby boat. Mr. P and I head out and have a kickass time. Flash forward to this morning. We get up early, pack up, take all the gear back to the truck and start calling/texting the children. No replies. That in itself drives me batshit crazy because I pay.a.ton. for cellphones that do not get answered. So we decide, whateva, and we go to do our thing. RIGHT after we anchor in our favorite cove I check the phone and got a text from the older, "We will be leaving shortly". ugh, it came in 20 minutes ago, and its 40 minutes to the lake. We pull up the anchor and start heading back to the dock. I call to check where they are and where we are picking them up. and call. and call. and call. and text. and text. and call. FOR OVER ONE HOUR. I finally get the older on the phone and "they had gotten up but fell back to sleep". Oh my god. I had a stroke, died, Mr. P revived me, then I started the yellling about the rudeness, the lack of respect, the RUDENESS. I wasted my.lake.time. trying to be so so so sure those kids were not waiting or lost or anything, and they were home asleep. I tell her my house better be absolutely perfect when I get home.

We have a fab afternoon floating and getting decadent amounts of sun while reading trashy magazines. Then we load up the boat and head home. Once we got to the house, Mr. P needed the car in the carport moved so he could park the boat. I get in, and there are CIGARETTES and a lighter. Now I focus my pissiness on Mr. P, "Nice habit. Aren't you glad your daughter smokes now too?" (Mr. P smokes and I hate it.) I go in the house, the elder is sleeping with tupperware of food on the floor, her stuff all over, and then is indignant when I flip the fuck out. She has her own apartment, if she doesn't like my rules, she is free to.go.home.

I am so mad, I decide to throw on my workout gear and head to Body Pump, then do a quick run, after which Mr. P is going to meet me at Panera for some dinner. I do Body Pump, added weights, broke my triceps. Then went outside to do a little run and my fucking headphones are going in and out, my bad, I always wrap them around my iPod and keep it in my purse. I cut it short, and head to Panera to do a bit of laptopping whilst I wait. Panera is closing early, so I text Mr. P just to let him know and calls me and tells me to eat without him because he put some laundry in the dryer and hadn't taken his shower and blah blah blah but won't make it here in AN HOUR. We live 10 minutes away.

OH.MY.GOD. could someone please just stick with a plan???????

fuck.

float plan.

When I took the boating safety course you have to take to get your license, I learned that one rule of good sense is to file your float plan with a friend or neighbor so in case you don't return, they know where to dredge the lake to find your skeleton.

I figured I would just tell you guys...we are headed out on the boat. We have packed up our camping gear, some yummy (and point friendly) camping food, some water proof cards, the radio to listen to tunes and the Braves game, and we are just about ready to head out. If I don't check in by Sunday...come find my skeleton. (My kids and sister read this, they will know where to send the skeleton dredging boat.)

OH, but before we left, I wanted to thank you all for your outrage over the fatty bashing by the airlines, and advice regarding my lunch date. At this point I am leaning towards going to the lunch....Mr. P wants me to go and "get closure"...read, flaunt what we have done with ourselves.

Yes, the high road.

ETA: No need to call 1-800-Skl-eton, we made it home safe and sound. Had a perfect 24 hours on the lake...we saw a regatta, pretty fancy, and a scorpion, not so fancy. Going out now to buy candy, soda and pizza for our kiddos...tonight is prom night and the highschool kid didn't really want to go, so the college kid is hosting a 'dance party' for him. We are providing the refreshments!

What a difference a week makes.

Since Monday is Fat Test day...I took it...AND

I let my A in being a Fat Fat McButterFat slip away, and I scored a mere 89.49%!! Apparently the chip I carried around on my shoulders all of March weighed in at about 3.8lbs. Which if you recall, is more weight than I lost all of March. ALL. OF. MARCH.

Other differences between last Monday and today?

~My house is CLEAN. company. clean. organized. awesome.
~Mr. P and I got our groove back.
~I am back to getting work done, real, solid work.

This is in spite of two bits of news that could have derailed the whole damn thing:

1. A test they asked me to do for my 'conditional acceptance' did not turn out well. NOT good news. Could potentially trash my whole paper. I did a mini-freak out, but after I took a quick jog! and thought it through, I realized I don't think I did it quite right, and I am not convinced it is actually the right test to run. Still has me a bit unnerved, but I can't truly believe one statistical test stands between me and tenure. If it does, then this is not the school for me anyhow.

2. Boatie is pretty sick. And it is going to be expensive to get her fixed. So...we trashed our plans for an AnniVEGASary. We hit the big 2-0 this month, and we were going to fly to Vegas and renew our vows. Really it is a no-brainer for us...4 days in Vegas, or all summer of boating?

Well, I better get going and get a quick run in before I head to work...I still have a BUNCH of failing to be fat to do!!

Just sit right back...

...and I will tell you a tale, of our boat conking out in the middle of the lake today. The first three hours out on the water were amazing. We road around, we anchored and read magazines and listened to music. I even jumped in for a "polar bear swim", the water was 62.5 degrees, which was invigorating for the 30 seconds I was in the water!

We were headed to the island we self-named (where we typically camp) to see what changes occured over the winter, and all of a sudden, she shuddered (the boat), and quit. Mr. P tried a few things, figured out what was wrong, knew he couldn't fix it, and we called for a tow. It was sad leaving our baby boat at the lake, but she had to stay to see the boat doctor tomorrow. We came home, and now Mr. P is on his way back to the lake to cover her up since we are supposed to have another bout with rainy weather.

This incident made me really appreciate how attitude makes a world of difference. When my dad had a boat if it broke down he got all freaked out and everyone got tense because he was so upset...it was awful. Today, while I knew Mr. P was upset, (he thinks if the boat breaks he has let me down), I just told him..."You know we had a great couple of hours, and if she were going to break, better it be just us, with nowhere to be, and money in the glove box to cover a tow." He agreed. So instead of sitting around tense and upset, we soaked up some sun and listened to music during our time anchored waiting for the tow, then enjoyed our ride back across the lake.

The boat would be broken either way, but because we both stayed positive, the day will go down as a very, very good one. I am a little sunburnt, a little tired from all the air, and very, very much liking April way more than March!

ETA: I called my sister because I thought it was funny that we both commented on another blog at the exact same time, and she asked me how boating was now that I have lost some weight. It was crazy the difference that 25 pounds made. My booty fit in the captain's chair, AND after my swim I pulled myself right back up into the boat without needing Mr. P to pull me in!