Thursday, July 2, 2009

upper thigh maintenance

While this is completely embarrassing and as soon as I hit publish I am closing my laptop and leaving the house due to shame, I am in desperate shape, so here goes:

Now that it is boating season, and next week we will be at the beach, there are moments when my upper thighs are granted a viewing with the rest of the world. Normally they are covered. Not because they are fat (which they are), but because they are kind of, well, um. disgusting. In my quest to make them un-disgusting, I have made them worse.

Back story: about a month ago, I was sitting on the back of the boat in just my bathing suit (I forgot my coverall), and I looked down and I had horrendous BLACK and longish inner thigh hairs, which considering I have GREY face hairs is a lovely punch in the ass. (OH, and I am not talking about nether region hairs...not quite that upper, truly mid to upper thigh hair). So, as soon as we get home, I shave them off, and use some Apricot scrub to help soften the skin.

yeah, the long hair and scaly skin was better. NOW, I have what I can only describe as a horrible case of thigh acne. Razor bumps for WEEKS and since I have already overshared, some got scabby. For the love of Christmas, WHAT DO I DO?

ETA: I think many of you know, but the anonymous poster, "Tracy" is my sister. I almost didn't publish this post because I KNEW what her response was going to be. Just knew it. I don't remember when, but once we had this HUGE discussion about leg shaving and her thoughts are from toes to hip...nothing left out, and me, I am more of an ankle to knee kind of girl.

After I read her comment I texted her:

Me: I KNEW you were going to say that.
Her: Because I am so right!
Me: So if I always had I would have built up a resistance?
Her: Yes! Obviously
Me: I should have listened.
Her: Thank you.

Gotta love sisters. I hate to say it, but that might have just cost her 1 babysitting hour.


LiLu said...

I'd go with some Nair when they grow back! Sounds like the hair is soft enough that it would work pretty easily...

Sorry love! :-(

tara said...

That Bikini Zone stuff does actually help to stave off the bumps. Otherwise, my guess is that it is a bit of a chafing issue. Gold Bond might be smelly, but it is your friend in situations like these.

In the future, wax! You could try Nair or some other depilatory, but I have never had luck with depilatories on my dark hairs.

Anonymous said...

First of all we have had this conversation before and I have told you that you must SHAVE YOUR WHOLE LEG NOT JUST TO THE KNEE. I can't believe we still have to speak of this.

It is probably just irritated, I would try some Vaseline.


wafelenbak said...

I was going to suggest a wax as well. Also, try a product called Tend Skin. GREAT for razor burn with regular use! Stings a little at first, but really keeps things smooth!)

Jen L. said...

I lived this nightmare on vacation. The razor rash, OH the razor rash! Next time you shave your thighs, shave down instead of up (toward your feet instead of your tummy). Then when you're done, blast your legs with cold water, either from the shower or by wrapping them in a cold wet washcloth. It totally worked for me. (My MIL actually suggested this! She's pretty cool.)

Fatinah said...

I would get it waxed next time by a professional. I have trouble with razor stuble and ingrown hairs if I shave...... mind you that is just around my bikini line.... I have never, ever shaved my upper legs.... I didn't know we were supposed to!!

Alice said...

oh, you poor thing!! i have yet to learn how to prevent this sort of mishap, so i have no useful advice at all, although someone once mentioned they thought desitin would be good in this sort of scenario? :-)

Anonymous said...

Go ahead and take off another hour for this one...

YOU MUST SHAVE YOUR TOES. This is even more important than the thighs.

I just don't know why you persist on being so difficult on this. I am SO RIGHT. I wish I could make it bigger because I would.


kilax said...

I have really light hair so I just shave to the knee too! I wish I had some advice. You know what? Just let it heal. Go out in the sun with your legs showing this weekend. Then maybe try one of the other tips for next time ;)

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I only shave to the knee. Ugh. I don't have time to be shaving my entire leg and really, do I have to?

Neosporin stat. In the meantime, wear a cute cover-up like a sarong skirt or sundress or longer shorts. I think it was the shaving + apricot scrub that did you in. Always scrub before you shave, but not right before as the skin is irritated. And moisturize a lot! There are some lotions with alpha hydroxy acids which help as they also exfoliate as they moisturize. Hope it clears up soon!

Shelley said...

I had that same problem when I used Veet on my thighs, which I don't normally shave - the bumps were worse than having the long hair!

Never heard about building up a resistance...I should stop being so lazy about shaving past my knees and try it!

creative kerfuffle said...

i have always been an ankle to knee girl too. sometimes i get wild hairs on my thighs and shave them. sometimes i make the mistake of feeling the back of my thigh and omg--it's SO hairy. when that happens i shave that too. i've never had the stubble issue though.

Astarte said...

I shave the backs of my thighs, and my inner thighs, because I get thick black hair on them if I don't . Oddly enough, the front of my thighs has lighter, almost blond hair. I don't get it, but at least it's less shaving. I get rash on my inner thigh when stuff starts growing back in. YUCK.

Tammie said...

ha i love this!
i shave daily. DAILY. from toes to hip and sometimes beyond. i have hair issues, not too mention too much time on my hands.

i agree with the commenter that suggested Tend works really great for the thigh acne. you can also make a cheapo version by crushing about 15 aspirin into some rubbing alcohol and applying with a cotton ball. it stings like nothing else but does the job.

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