Thursday, October 22, 2009

She better not unpack

Fuck alert. I am pissed.

because I am going to call a moving company and pay them WHATEVER amount of money they want to come put all her shit in a truck, her too, and just drive and drive and drive then shove everything out on the sidewalk in the middle of fucking nowhere.

I call my mother a few minutes ago to see if all her stuff got delivered, she responds, in my opinion, very snottily, "YES, at 8 o'clock this morning." I assume she is pissed that I haven't called or been there since then. Maybe it is just my own guilt thinking maybe I should have gone over there (I just read my sister's post for today and she did). But my mother has SO MUCH SHIT, and her apartment is NOT THAT BIG, and she smokes incessantly so what the fuck am I going to do but try not to get lung cancer and tacky disease? (As an example of how much she smokes, when we were getting in the truck to take her home last night, she lit a cigarette as she waited for me....to get.in.the.front.seat.and.close.the.door, took drags while we sat there, then got in the truck.)

Then she tells me how she broke a piece of her furniture moving it, and it was 39 years old, so it is "going to live out on her patio for awhile, maybe it can be fixed". Again, I am taking it like she is saying, if my horrible kid had been here to move it for me it wouldn't have happened.

All of this I may have been able to wrap up into my own little guilt burrito that I would have for breakfast tomorrow and go over and help her until....

"So, are you still at home?" To which I answer that I was. Then she said, "Did you do your work?"

fuck you. Don't you ever question my work ethic. Not ever. See, my mother does NOT have a work ethic, but her pretend work ethic is what allowed her to put the nail in the coffin of our family 15 years ago (she used work as a cover for an affair) and was an excuse for not having to parent my then 13 year old sister anymore. Also, since then she has lost several jobs for not showing up because she chooses instead to drink wine at 6am.

In case any of you are wondering? Yes, I have been working today, I am grading projects that are huge Access databases that are insanely boring, but I am forcing my way through them because I want to work on my research tomorrow afternoon while Mr. P plays golf .

However, have I also farmed on FaceBook, caught up on blogs, planned dinner, chosen my 1/2 marathon training plan, done laundry and dishes, caught up on FlashForward and Hell's Kitchen?

YES.

I am 40 fucking years old and I can stay at home all fucking day in my lobster pajama pants if I want to. DAMN it, I have worked very, very hard to get to the point that I can. I refuse to let her ruin it. This is my Thursday. This is how I spend most Thursday's. She better get fucking used to it.

Now that I have vented, I am going to put potatoes in for Mr. P. When he gets home I am going to make a big salad. Then we are going to have leftover pot roast served over baked potatoes and watch Survivor. We are NOT going to talk about my mother.

17 comments:

chezjulie said...

I'm sorry you're already having such a tough time with your mom. I'm sure it is really hard to deal with her putting a guilt trip on you on top of everything else. I hate how even when we KNOW that someone is being crazy, their comments can still get under your skin.

Big hugs! I think you're a very hard worker, and an awesome, funny person.

creative kerfuffle said...

oh hell. i don't even know what to say. say fuck alot and scream on your blog--it helps. been there, done that. holy hell though. really. and i am way too curious about this job of being a cover for an affair.

kilax said...

Ugh! I hate it when ANYONE acts like I am not working.

Time to stop answering her calls!

Tammie said...

im so sorry. i really dont know what to say either. shes not making herself very easy to like or rebuild any kind of relationship with.

Jen L. said...

Send her back! But tell the truck to stop by my house on the way, because I wanna see.

Fatinah said...

I live the smoking dream with my mom.... sigh...

DAVs said...

There's a strange lobster connection here...

Here's my assvice: tell your Mother you DO WORK on Thursdays (out of the house) so she won't think you're home. Make something up. Tell her you took a second and third job and no longer have any free time. I'm just sayin'.

wafelenbak said...

Oh lord. This is the classic moment where I say, "And I thought MY mom was crazy..."
Sorry you're dealing with this, HP. Hope the situation improves soon.

Jenni said...

Yeah, she is the reason that "white lies" were invented...as well as caller id!

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Survivor was soooo good last night - I hope it made up for the craptastic feeling your mom put upon you.

Amy said...

oh man... that sucks! Crappy family...

Jill said...

Assvice. Love it. How about telling your you are moonlighting to cover for an affair? Better warn Mr. H in advance. My best friend's mother is narcissistic like this (eerily similar, in fact - she grew up with no food, but mom had dozens of pairs of designer shoes). Anyhow, she always calls me and tells me about mean stuff her mom says/does, and I keep telling her to limit the relationship (by hanging up), and she just can't do it. I tell her to be selective about receiving the guilt trips, but she still wonders what she might have done wrong. Therapy has helped, a lot, but she still couldn't let her go, until the "Mom" got cancer, and enjoyed the attention so much, she is now having double surgery (implant removal and knee replacement) less than 5 months post-chemo.

Lucy said...

Geez, it must be the Family from hell week!!!

I know you were hoping to try to rebuild with your mom, not off to a grand start.

Thank God for your blog, keep letting it out to us and hopefully, just hopefully something will turn for you and your mom but in the meantime LET IT OUT HERE!!!!

Shelly Overlook said...

And how long has she been there? Dude, I'm worried for your sanity.

BTW, what did you think of Fast Forward? Next week looks good. I'm anxious to see more Dominic Monaghan.

Not Your Aunt B said...

She is a whackjob. What is up with crazy moms being super crazee lately? If you do rent that moving truck, have it come by Texas and pick my MIL up. They can annoy the crap out of each other and leave us the hell alone!

Jenn said...

Oh man. HP, I feel for you, girl.

Astarte said...

Sweet Jesus, if my mother moved here, I'd have to move somewhere else! I don't know how you are going to stand it, but I'm sorry to tell you that your handling of it is intensely funny for the rest of us. :)

I vote you only answer calls from her / deal with her at certain times. Outside of those certain times, you are At Work. If she can use work to avoid family obligations, then you can, too.

 
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