Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I thought he would say my smaller ass, my increased confidence, my sparkling wit....but no.
"I just realized that after Thursday I will only be able to have sex with an OLD lady."
Mr. P is quite the charmer.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
So as I have
Then to add, there is some money tension, not so much lack of money, but timing issues...I am not a great budgeter to begin with, and I had some unexpected expenses come up (elder child's rent, extra day of vacation, boat repairs) so money is a bit tight, so I have had to delay some of aforementioned organization until I had the cash in hand, which added another level of chaos.
I had to rent a car to get my sister, nephew and I from the airport to our house...Mr. P drives a Suburban that I can't drive, and since my sister told me that she has to go to the Target parking lot early on Saturday to practice driving her new car, I wasn't thinking she was willing to drive the green bus through the city...anyway, when I was doing that I saw that my driver's license expires on August 2. fuck.
Then yesterday, after I get home from work and the grocery store, Mr. P says, "So when are WE going to renew the car tags?" I don't know how it works at your house, but when Mr. P says WE, he means ME. oh.my.god. I will fucking do it when I do it. do.not.ask.me.one.more.time.if.you.value.your.testicles. So FINE, this morning I go to the place to get my new driver's license and car tags...and for the love of baby Jesus, why don't people just get their shit together? You have to show proof of insurance to renew your car tags...it says it on the paper that comes in the mail, and there is a GIANT SIGN where you get in line. The clueless whore in front of me kept ARGUING that she left it at home and wasn't going to go get it. (To be fair, I am not sure she ever charged money for sexual favors.) Of course, she left with no tags. But she wasted 11 minutes of my time. I want compensation.
Then I go to get the driver's license. Everyone in that line seems to have their shit together, but they annoy me on a different level...they wanted to swap expiration stories. Do you not see me reading blogs on my phone? That is my signal that I do not want to talk to you. at all.
So after an hour, I get everything done and start feeling a bit better about getting my act together and I text Mr. P to meet me for lunch. While we are eating he says, "So when are you going to buy my plane ticket?" even now, that statement makes me seethe. Why? Why do I have to do every fucking thing that ever has to get done? WHY? I looked at him and said. "I WILL."
Then the waitress brought me LITE ranch to go with my salad. I wanted REGULAR ranch, which apparently they don't even carry but it was on the menu, so I decide to sue for bait and switch. My lawyer was busy, so I just had to get Thousand Island, because honestly LITE ranch sucks.
So I get to work, and pick a plane ticket as Mr. P says he will fly whatever/whenever. Well, apparently not quite whatever. So I call him and say, so then which one do you want? He says, "What do you think?" OH FUCK. I lost it, "How about you decide one fucking thing about this whole damn trip? All I want you to do is choose the TIME that YOU are flying. That is it." Then, after I book it, pay for it, and email him the confirmation...he emails it back to me at every.one. of my email addresses.
I just now decided that I needed a diet root beer to take the edge off, and wouldn't you just know that the damn soda fridge has not been restocked and is completely empty. I swear, I could stab someone right in the face right now.
You know there has been quite a bit of *wink*wink* action at Chez Potchery over the last couple of weeks, and I asked Mr. P about that yesterday....he said, "You have just been so nice, and not very bitchy at all."
mm. guess that ride is over.
Monday, July 27, 2009
I left one out, and it has been gnawing at me all week.
When I first started this journey to healthy, healthy, healthy, I completely cut out one of my favorite meals.
For those POINT tallyers (I am not sure that is even a word, but I am sticking with it), that is a whopping 32 points, which is more than I am even allotted for a whole day's worth of eating. But look at the calcium, the fiber, the iron, the saturated fat. Yikes. Anyway, if you have never had these nachos, DON'T EVER DO IT. They are super delicious, and especially with a Diet Coke and a great book. mmm. Back to the story. I cut these out, completely. With a small caveat. I promised myself that when I lost 40 pounds I was going to have them.
Then I wrote that post that was all sanctimonious with prizes and not one little mention that I planned to reward myself for losing 40lbs with 79 grams of fat at one sitting. I was sitting pretty at 39.8 lbs lost last Monday. I knew that this was going to be the week I was going to have the nachos as my 40 lb reward.
Today when I weighed, I was down 1.2 lbs, so that has brought my total lost in 2009 to 41 lbs. I am now 85.77% of my January 5 weight. And even though I broke that 40 lb barrier, I am NOT going to get those nachos.
I had them yesterday.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I know I have talked about looking forward to my 'empty nest' for a long time, I even had a countdown ticker on my MySpace eons ago. And while I am completely looking forward to being with Mr. P and accomplishing all of our goals related to work, fun and health...maybe I am sadder than I realized that my kids are all grown up.
Or maybe I just really liked those dishes....
Monday, July 20, 2009
Our weekly challenge was to think of ways to reward ourselves for all the hard work we are putting in to this healthy journey we have undertaken....both short term and long term. I am a fan of prizes, shit, I will email Mr. P and tell him I need a prize just because it is Monday, and when he gets home from work he will have a prize for me...in the last two months I have gotten flowers, shoes for the boat, workout socks, magazines, candy (shhhhh), and a million Route 44 Diet Cokes. So it isn't that I am against rewarding myself....BUT
I just wonder about rewarding myself for treating myself the way I always should have been. Shouldn't the journey be reward in itself? Shouldn't my (less) fat ass fitting in an airline seat next week be all the accolades I need? Shouldn't showing my children that any bird can change its feathers at any time be enough to fulfill me to keep going? Shouldn't the smile across my face after completing a hard run be the only medal I need?
Medium: All my medium goals are CLOTHES related...every 10 lbs, I am awarding myself a CUTE piece of clothing (or three)...I really have started digging getting ready in the morning, clothes are fitting and it is fun to get adorbs! I tend to focus on tops, because they seem to fit longer as I drop weight...but in another 10 pounds I think I will have to buy new pants, they are getting droopy!
I really liked this challenge, because it really forced me to think about WHY I care about my weight...while I want to look good, and feel good, and live longer....my main reason is that I want to DO stuff. I am almost 40, and I am about to the stage where we can pick up and go do stuff, but if I am too fat, I will be too scared to try!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I went to the store to pick up a few "clean" eats, and decided on black beans and brown rice, with homemade guacomole (WOW), salsa and organic, all natural cheddar cheese...I was so hungry I snacked on some delicious cherries while I prepped:
Here is my complete dinner...yeah, it looks pretty gross in the photo, but it was delicious (brown rice, black beans, 1/2 grilled chicken breast, homemade guac (tomato, avocado, jalapeno, onion), and Pace picante...I was a bit concerned that the picante may be considered "processsed", but all the ingredients were regular food things and no chemicals, so I decided it would be okay.... Now we are all watching "Meteor" ... in addition to reality television, I love disaster movies...even made for television, awful, horrible disaster movies. I make my entire family watch them...every minute. So far this is not disappointing in the awful department, and I am super excited because when I was getting the link for the movie, NBC is having "Survival Sundays"...week after week of crappy disaster movies, sometimes just when you think life is so hard, something really great happens.
But, back to my clean food...I made some banana ice cream (frozen bananas in the food processor), and topped it off with some more cherries. (oh.my.god. if you are a fan of the bananas, this stuff is beyond good.)
I still have points left over for today, but considering this week I earned 40.5 Activity Points yet am STILL 43 POINTS in the hole, I think I will just call it a day and hope that my journaling, exercising and ONE day of clean eating will keep me out of the weight gains....(yeah, two birthday parties, Olive Garden, late night burgers and 7 buffalo wings add up really quickly, yikes!)
I may have taken the clean eating a bit more literally than most, but I am proud to say I had a whole day and did not eat a single bit of artificiality. I do plan on incorporating more real foods, but brother, give me back my DIET COKE!
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Can you see how STEEP this is???
ahh, pretty flower:
Home stretch...my house is right past those speed bumps on the right, and while you can't really see it, there is a chipmunk standing on the left part of the street in the shadows:
Friday, July 17, 2009
The next day I leave for NYC for a business meeting, Mr. P won't arrive until several days later. While this trip is some work, I am looking forward to doing some really touristy things since due to the next point, I might not be back that way for awhile.
Six days later I head to my sister's for my nephew's THIRD birthday party and then to return to Alabama with sister and nephew. At that point they will have MOVED to Alabama. The day after that, Mr. P and my brother-in-law should arrive in Alabama with all the stuff and the animals...we will all bunk at our house.
Three days after that my son will move into his apartment, and my sister and her family will move into their house.
Four days after that my daughter will return home from camp and move into apartment with son, the same day that Fall semester starts. I teach graduate classes in the Fall. More intense.
Where the fuck did the summer go?????? While all the changes are so exciting, it is kind of overwhelming me a bit.
In the next two weeks I have to get the house 'company clean' again. How did we destroy it in 2 months?
I have to prep my class for the Fall (I likely won't make it to the office during the week of everyone moving), and the class I am teaching on the trip. I have to prepare a different presentation for same trip. I have to make sure that CK2 takes underpants and socks to college. I have to finish a research paper, and actually conduct a pilot test on a new study (what was I thinking taking on something new?), and complete two more paper reviews.
I spent all spring looking forward to summer so that I could chill a bit, and now I find myself looking forward to fall so that I can chill a bit. Will this ever stop?
Thursday, July 16, 2009
1. Walk in the dealership.
2. Tell saleman, "I would like that one".
3. Sign papers.
4. Drive away
Notice, no haggling, no dealing, maybe not even a test drive. But that really isn't the test drive to which I am referring.
I was watching The Bachelorette and towards the end of the seaon they have these fanstasy overnight dates...and on one of them the poor bastard, "was sunburned, and tired, and there was a lot of pressure". I was wondering if it meant the dude couldn't, well, you know, drive.....so I texted my sister about it, and apparently that is the story as The Soup tells it.
I got to thinking...man, that is skanky, her having back to back to back sex dates. blech.
But then I also was thinking, what if you pick a dude and there is no combustion (ha ha, sticking with the car metaphor)? That would be bad.
So, what is your stance on test drives? And if the situation were yours, would you go from the Honda dealership, to Ford, to Kia, then even maybe back to Honda????
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
1. At the supreme deliciousness that were the cubes of watermelon I was eating for breakfast. Perfect texture and just the right amount of sweet. OH.SO.GOOD. How am I such a lucky bastard to be afforded the right to eat such wonderfulness whenever I want?
then about 5 hours later....
2. At Willie Nelson's, "Always on my Mind" playing on a ASPCA commercial. You know, the commercial that shows all of these puppies and kitties who are just so so sad. WHY oh WHY have these poor creatures been smited?
After I turned my head so CK2 would not see me crying, I realized...duh. Hormones much? I now have my defenses ready, Midol and a heating pad. So if I over dramatized on anyone's blog today...sorry, it was hormones and leftover angst at NOT being able to correctly cook grits so that I could make Blackberry Grits.
I read the box, did everything as I was directed (I thought) and I got grit soup. How can it be THAT hard? Women in the old south were making that shit right from hominy, and I can't mix dry grits with water in a pot???? fuck. I seem to be getting all worked up again, time to just call it.a.day.
I don't know if you understand what I mean...but think about a toddler crying, all loud and noisy and unrestrained. Then, while crying doesn't stop, the WHALING noises seem to stop at some age, and crying becomes more sniffling and tears. However, that switch never turned on this kid. I could hear her from the waiting room HOWLING. Mr. P had to come from work because I couldn't handle it. She was a pathetic, hobbling mess for days on end. Even now, she will complain about her lopsided toes.
Flash forward to yesterday morning, two years to the day almost (it could be exact, but I don't remember). I had just returned from my run, and I was dishing out some watermelon and CK2 (which he seemingly has dubbed himself), limped into the kitchen. I looked down and one of his toes was PURPLE and there was a crazy big bruise on the top of his foot.
Me: WHAT happened?
CK2: yeah, I might have broken my toe last night
Me: Should you go to the doctor?
CK2: mmmm, I think they are closed right now.
WHAT???? Since when are doctors closed at 11 am on a TUESDAY???
So I made a MOM decision and said, "Get ready, we will get your TB test for school at the same time."
Diagnosis? He jammed his toe, and this part makes me cringe, the doctor said it went WAY up in his foot. ugh. pain. But he is all calm and nonchalant...while we waited for his prescription for some pain pills we browsed the college aisles at WalMart and went to lunch. Then today he went and got a new cell phone and seems to be just fine, gimpy some, but overall fine.
So, apparently, for my offspring, you must do harm to a toe as a precursor to beginning college.
Monday, July 13, 2009
So as I plow into week 3 of the 15 Week Challenge, I have lost .59% of my beginning weight, which is 1.4lbs. ehh. Not my best efforts, but I have had a STELLAR day. Now, I did not eat "clean", I am saving that for later in the week, but I have eaten lots of fruits and veggies, grilled chicken, went out for a jog this morning, and drank (mostly) water all day. I have used all of my points though, and not sure that I will make it all the way until tomorrow without dipping into my weekly points. I do have berries and watermelon if I get hungry though, so I think I am in good shape.
I even went to work and got a bunch of statistical tests done on a paper I am revising!
Now that the housekeeping is over, I have another Ruby rant.
So, I watched it again last night, and while I probably should just not watch anymore, I probably will, so be prepared for me to gripe. In this episode she was so whiney about not wanting to do universal weight machines because she was going to 'bulk up'. The little bits of her routine I saw were not in the body building category, rest assured. It was just so frustrating. I don't know how she is financially supporting herself, and she has this show to help her lose weight and all she does is BITCH, well I could deal with bitching, all she does is WHINE. (I really feel like Jillian needs to go to Savannah and kick some ass.) Then, her MD brought in some "guru" (that label makes me wary of ANYONE) and he kept saying that her current workout of treadmill and universal weight machines was going to 'bulk her up'. Fed right into her delusions. So she quit her gym. quit.her.gym. I don't know why I am getting so frustrated about a stranger's journey when I have my own struggles, but I truly believe if there was a camera crew following me around I would be too embarrassed not to be on.it. every day.
Okay, judgey rant over. OH, I found out this weekend that one of the instructors at work and her husband are swingers. blech. shiver. throw up. (If you are a swinger, I really don't care if I just offended you because I think it's yucky.)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
I am playing a bizarre game of diet roulette. I am making BETTER choices, but really, it doesn't take a whole lot of discipline to merely NOT eat fast food for every.meal. Throw in a salad here and there, maybe a piece of fruit, and ta da. BETTER choices. Not good. Better. I am journaling maybe one meal a week....I don't even know.
However, I still had kind of made up my mind that I had to get my ass in gear. Kind of.
Then, late last night I watched a few episodes of Ruby. If you don't know her story, she is a lady from Savannah that has assembled a team of a trainer, nutritionist and shrink to help her lose the 300lbs that she needs to lose. The episode I watched was Ruby on vacation...she didn't take any of her meals, and she kept saying, "I think I know best" when she didn't eat her pre-planned meals or when she didn't want to exercise.
I thought to myself, "If she really knew best she wouldn't have gotten to this position."
DING DING DING DING
I am still one hundred pounds overweight. I am still in the super obese category. I DO need WeightWatchers. I do need my Nike girl. I do need to drink water and take my vitamins. Merely fitting into XL shirts from OldNavy does not mean my journey is over.
So people, please feel free to comment on my girl if she is sad...BUT check her out today! I got 2.25 miles in the 200 degree humid filled day...I am cooled down, and am heading to buy groceries!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
I love reality television, most all of it. But I really dig the shows where there are challenges and voting. I LOVE challenges and voting. We even have challenges and vote during our family vacations and holidays.
But this time of the year brings my most favorite...it is an awful, horrendous guilty pleasure...Big Brother. I watch the show (3 nights a week), and have bought the live feeds, I even participate in chat rooms, I am a HUGE BB dork.
ahh. Confession is good for the soul....
So what about you? What is your television secret????
Friday, July 10, 2009
As part of the tenure process, I have to send a sample of my research along with my vita (academic resume) to well-known researchers across the country. They have to evaluate my work, and render an opinion to my university regarding the quality of my endevours.
My hands were shaking when I was putting the binder clips on the papers. Don't get me wrong, I think I have done some really good work, so I am not actually worried the letters will be bad, but I have now officially kicked off the tenure process and it is just so huge to me.
If I don't get tenure, I don't get stay here. Most of my best memories have been made here. My kids both go to school here. My sister is uprooting her family to move here. I love my life here.
What if my here has to change before I am ready?
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I love grits. I love blackberries. Would I love blackberry grits? My initial thought was no, because I typically do salt and pepper on grits...but what.the.hell. I am on vacation. I ordered.
I didn't take a picture, and for that I am deeply sorry. They looked, well, kind of gross. A bowl of grits, with some blackberries and blackberry juice sort of pooled on top. I tentatively tried a tiny taste, and oh.my.god. SO delicious. I just googled the restaurant so I could see where I could go get another sample, so I could do a better job of trying to pick it apart so I could make it myself. I was FULL ALL DAY after eating those grits (well, and half a spinach, mushroom and tomato omelet and potatoes, but still!). But alas, they seem to only be around the beach...
Today I am back at worky work, and it sucky sucks. Vacation > work. Even with my 'sister-wife' (GROSS) and drinky dad.
OH, I tried to Facebook stalk my Dad's girlfriend and while she is on FB, and UGH, we have friends in common, she does not have an 'open profile' so I would have to friend her. uh. NO.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
If the 3 years wasn't awkward enough, she is embroiled in a bunch of drama in my home town with people my age that I went to highschool with...now to be fair, not really people I hang out with anymore, or even ever really, but people that know who I am, and that is just oh.so.disturbing. Dudes, we don't have just ONE year class reunions anymore...we have like 5 years worth of classes at reunions. My Dad would be there as a DATE at my reunion. It is just so white trash.
She left after one day, so then we just hung out with my Dad, and that was pretty okay. We have to work very hard to keep him busy so that we can stay out of the bars until sunset...he likes hims drinky. We did lots of touristy stuff, like putt-putt, bowling, go-carts, arcades, movies, and window shopping. Sadly we didn't get a ton of beach time because the weather sucked. This morning we got up to gray skies and decided just to come home.
We get home, and there are two dudes on our back porch having torn out our back steps and most of the fence...um. HELLO? What are you doing? It is a rental, but we had no idea that this was going to be going on. I was mad. Mr. P? He lost his shit. Didn't help that he had not smoked all day and was already kinda pissy. It was a bad hour of phone calls to the contractor, realty company, realty company, realty company. I think Mr. P's blood pressure just now is normalizing...we had a good salad for dinner, and I think bed is in short order for me...I like vacationing, but to be completely honest, I am only ever truly comfortable at home. I have become such an old lady.
I missed my normal weigh-in on Monday, so will weigh in tomorrow morning, and get to back to work. Worky work, work on the 15 Week Challenge and work on healthy, healthy, healthy.
I hope everyone had a great 4th of July!
Friday, July 3, 2009
The movie got me thinking about my parents. For as long as I can remember, I don't think my parents were ever really happy in the life they built for themselves and I wonder if they felt like the couple in the movie. Endless days of putting on a facade and forcing themselves into some sort of mold of what they thought happiness should be when really everything was falling apart within them. At such extremes that they made horrible decisions that hurt so many people in an attempt to rescue themselves from their own misery.
It makes me sad to think about that, and at the same time so very glad that Mr. P and I paved our own road to get to our own happiness that I almost feel guilty.
Told you I was feeling angsty and weird. Seriously, I need to go find my Big Bang Theory DVD.
ETA: So last night I was all cocky in my love for my life and my husband. But now that Mr. P has BITCHED about my lack of accountability for iPod wires for an hour, I am seriously rethinking my position.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Now that it is boating season, and next week we will be at the beach, there are moments when my upper thighs are granted a viewing with the rest of the world. Normally they are covered. Not because they are fat (which they are), but because they are kind of, well, um. disgusting. In my quest to make them un-disgusting, I have made them worse.
Back story: about a month ago, I was sitting on the back of the boat in just my bathing suit (I forgot my coverall), and I looked down and I had horrendous BLACK and longish inner thigh hairs, which considering I have GREY face hairs is a lovely punch in the ass. (OH, and I am not talking about nether region hairs...not quite that upper, truly mid to upper thigh hair). So, as soon as we get home, I shave them off, and use some Apricot scrub to help soften the skin.
yeah, the long hair and scaly skin was better. NOW, I have what I can only describe as a horrible case of thigh acne. Razor bumps for WEEKS and since I have already overshared, some got scabby. For the love of Christmas, WHAT DO I DO?
ETA: I think many of you know, but the anonymous poster, "Tracy" is my sister. I almost didn't publish this post because I KNEW what her response was going to be. Just knew it. I don't remember when, but once we had this HUGE discussion about leg shaving and her thoughts are from toes to hip...nothing left out, and me, I am more of an ankle to knee kind of girl.
After I read her comment I texted her:
Me: I KNEW you were going to say that.
Her: Because I am so right!
Me: So if I always had I would have built up a resistance?
Her: Yes! Obviously
Me: I should have listened.
Her: Thank you.
Gotta love sisters. I hate to say it, but that might have just cost her 1 babysitting hour.