Monday, March 23, 2009

I don't want it

Pretty much this entire weekend I have been in a super pissy, whiny, horrid mood. Not necessarily outward, but inward.

I don't want to exercise so I have done it half-assed.
I don't want to eat healthy, so I have stayed in my points, but not making healthy choices.
I don't want to get my work done, so I have done the shear minimum to get through the day.
I don't want to comment on blogs because I have NOTHING to say.

I am in a super funk, and I seriously don't want it. I think it comes from 3 solid months of working out, eating healthy, getting a bunch done at regular work, and still being SO FAR from feeling like I can 'relax'.

Anyways, today was fat test day, and I scored 90.95% (which is a 1.8 lb loss). That B+ has been quite elusive, I have been floating above it for several weeks now. The college kid has one class that is on a 7 point scale...and in that class, I would have a solid B. But, no fair changing the scale halfway through....

Back to my funk. When you are in a superfunk, how do you break out? A movie? Pedicure? Sex? A puppy?

Help me!

Mr. P will be grateful for any idea that works since I cried after jogging at the park yesterday because I wanted to quit it all and just be fat since Mr. P doesn't care that I am losing weight. I went on and on about how he has time for marine stereos and rebuilding propellors and solitaire on his iPhone, but time to let me know he is proud of me....and really after typing this, I realize my ridiculousity because I am NOT DOING THIS FOR HIM and I really shouldn't be relying on him to make me feel good about this journey. I just wanted him to.

In his defense, he does care, but he isn't caring the exact way I want him to, so I went a little nutball on him. OH, and if you are curious as to what I want him to do so I can just tell him... yeah. I don't know. Hence the superfunk.


creative kerfuffle said...

to get out of the funk i recommend sex and a puppy--but ya know, obviously not together. plus music. blasting my favorite music helps me. and i do the same thing when i'm in a funk--get pissy w/ the hubs and expect him to read my mind on what to say or do when i don't even really know what i want him to say or do. what about buying something? that might get you unfunkified.

DAVs said...

Ouch. It's tough when your best friend/partner in crime isn't being supportive in EXACTLY the way you need them to, and even worse when you can't articulate it. Gee, I'm super helpful--I just restated your problem. :)
I think just telling him that you need/crave his support is a good start...

Now, as far as getting's a hard one. A good movie? (saw Milk this weekend and it was very good). A good book? I'm reading a great memoir by a drag queen that will blow.your.mind. Drumming? It helps me, even though I really do suck.

Making a paper chain, to count down the days until Tracy and Steamboat (aka "the baby") arrive? Oh yeah, Warren, too :)

Wishing you a splendid, less funked up week.

Anonymous said...

I think you need to do something just for yourself... a pedicure is alwasy good, buy yourself flower, a new lotion or some article of clothing and for goodness sakes give yourself a breat. But, DONT give up the fight that you have started. You have made so much progress, don't give it all up because of a funk. this too shall pass.

andrea. said...

Ugh, I totally get that feeling. I think one important thing to remember with 'funks' like that is that it WILL pass all on its own. No one ever goes in to a funk and never comes out again. So it will go away even if you can't figure out a solution immediately.

That said, the thing that always helps me is to get outside of my own head. For me, that often means doing something that makes me appreciate the city I'm in. So I'll take a walk around a neighbourhood I don't know very well, go to a Farmer's market, or a play, or even just an independent coffee shop -- something that makes me remember where I live and how many other people are living there too, going about their crazy lives, just like I am. (For some reason it seems to have to be something specific to my city -- going to Starbucks or to see a movie doesn't have the same effect as doing something Toronto-specific.)

The other thing is HOBBIES. I talk about knitting a bit on my blog but it's actually something I spend a fair bit of time with -- and going to yarn store can always cheer me up. Buying something there helps even more. :)

Jen L. said...

ICK. I hate that you're in a funk. I felt one coming on a few days ago, too. I had to force myself to relax and was finally able to snap out of it after several trips to the park with my boys, a solo shopping trip and a pedicure. Doing little things for myself always makes me feel better. I also bought new curtains for my living room and finished planting my herbs. Do something you love doing that's just for you, even if you feel like it's a waste of time. If it makes you happy, it's not a waste of time!
Or you could just do what my mom does when she's in a funk: come to my house and snuggle Dean. ;)

Bulge to Bump said...

Sorry about your funk...I've been in one too. I don't know that there is much one can do to get out of one. You just have to ride it out until something good happens, or you get distracted from the funk. I find crying and bitching (to friends, on my blog, to my mother, to my dog) eventually make me feel better.
I hate when I'm irritable. My husband could breath to loud and it would piss me off.

Anonymous said...

Hi H.P.,

I can certainly relate to that being in a funk feeling. I'm sure it's some letdown after the article business, plus some "healthy living fatigue" (I just made that term up). When I'm in a funk I call my best friend who always makes me feel better, I order whole wheat spaghetti with turkey meatballs from the healthy place, and I watch a bunch of old Buffy the Vampire Slayer videos with my cats. YMMV, but that works for me.

tash said...

Exercise sometimes helps, but I usually got for a new hair cut/colour and some shopping. And sex of course :)

Anonymous said...

Regarding wanting some positive feedback from Mr. P., I TOTALLY get that. I require recognition for everything I do, to the point of saying things to M. Hubby like "Guess what? I did the dishes!"

Obviously Mr. P loves you the way you are, but certainly he wants you to be your happiest and healthiest, right? Here are a few sentence starters for him... See how he does with these:

I've noticed in the last 3 months how much more you have been ___________.

I bet it's hard to change old habits, and you have really ____________.

I'm happy that you're getting healthy because ______________.

I'm proud of you because _________.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Anonymous said...

I think you've been doing a great job! It is really hard to keep going and realize you still have a long way to go but just try to think about how far you have already come, and you don't want to undo all that hardwork. If I was there I'd hold your hand and run a 5K with you. Tracy

HopeFool said...

I'm all funk over here too.

I'm pretty sure the only thing that will help me is divine intervention.

wafelenbak said...

My boyfriend has a way of saying, "The only way out is through." And while it seems depressing on the surface...I usually find it oddly comforting.
This is not what you'll want to hear, but you need to steel yourself and find ways to reward yourself because it is going to get HARDER. When you lose weight and change your lifestyle, you'd think people would be happy for you. At best, they are rather nonchalant about it and at worst, they will tear you down because you have made a choice that is so hard for most of America to make. I've been working on this for over a year now and I still have a friend who yells, "You are too skinny! You are skinnier every time I see you!!" when we get together. Uh, I am totally within normal range for my BMI and would not describe myself as "skinny."
Of course, I'm not including your husband in this...I don't know him. But you've got to find ways to give yourself the kudos because there will be days when no one else will, and dammit, someone's got to do it--you've worked for it!

Paul said...

Meditation, especially breathing meditation, helps. You become very aware of your mind talking just to hear itself talk, and it becomes easier to ignore these funks as "things that will eventually pass once your mind finds something else to obsess about."

Or sex. Sex is also good.

Astarte said...

Sorry about your funk! I think they're going around. When I feel funky-in-a-bad-way, I go outside and either read a book or walk the dogs if I can talk myself into it. Anything outside helps.

kilax said...

I wish I had some advice. I just have to wait for my funks to go away. I have to find as much time alone as possible too, because I am awful to be around.

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