3 Days Down.

Did you know that Christmas is in 24 days, which is 3 1/2 weeks away?

Being out of commission the last three days has put a serious kabash on my Christmas preparations...the only thing we have are the Advent calendars I bought in SEPTEMBER. When I was telling Mr. P that there was some prep work involved in getting them ready, he asked me, "So, did you buy yourself one?"

Yeah, jackass, I did.

Maybe because I am feeling better enough to go to work, but not really better, better, but I am feeling very upset with Mr. P. I am in a rut where I feel like he is taking advantage of me, and not in a good way.

He quit smoking in January and I made a huge freaking deal out of it and he milked it for attention AND presents. In August he started smoking again on the stealth, which meant he hid it. Occassionally I wouldn't be able to find him, which drives me bat shit, and it would be because he was smoking. Now, since I know he is smoking again, he just smokes whenever he feels like it, and there has been FIVE times over the weekend where I needed him for something, and I couldn't find him. Twice I needed his immediate assistance, and luckily a kid was there to help.

On birthdays, Valentine's Day, whenever it is an occassion where I should reasonably expect a card or present, I know he will be late from work, because GOD FORBID he plan ahead.

I KNOW the holidays should not just be about presents. I get it. I am nearly 40 years old. But there have only been TWO Christmases out of twenty where he has planned and surprised me. But I have surprised him every. single. one. Believe me, after the first 5, I quit trying to have him "read my mind".

I guess my feelings are hurt because in September I told him I bought him and the kids Advent Calendars, and he was even brazen enough to ask if I had gotten him a Lego one. I had.

I figured then he had 2 MONTHS to buy or make me one. But guess what I got when I pulled them out and gave him his. Lego. one?

"So, did you buy yourself one?"

AAAAAAAAAAAAH.

ETA: I decided that I shouldn't play the passive-aggressive victim and I should just tell Mr. P that I am upset AFTER he asks me if I opened my first box on the calendar in such a way that I feel like he is taking credit for getting me the calendar, even though he just put it together.

Me: I am upset.
Mr. P: Why?
Me: I told you about the calendars in September, right?
Mr. P: Yeah.
Me: Then last night when I give them to you to set up, you ask if I bought myself one.
Mr. P: Yeah.
Me: What if I hadn't?
Mr. P: Eyeroll, and walk away.

I can feel myself losing my shit right now. Oh, and I know I am irrational and am blowing a fucking Advent calendar (sorry, Jesus) way out of proportion but I decided that ranting on this blog is better than driving to his office and shoving the plastic tree that I got for December 1 right up his ass.