Thursday, December 11, 2008

Draft for this year's Christmas letter

Can you believe it is already December? Where does the time go? We have had such a busy, full year.

The mister is working very hard and has everyone at the firm talking about his potential...could that corner office have his name on it? He also has perfected his swing with his 5 iron, and is the new treasurer down at the lodge.

I have been busy as well, with all the time I volunteer at the shelter for blind cats and darning socks for our soldiers. That is of course, when I am not chasing these kids all around. What little rascals they are.

Sister is doing very well in school, and her science experiment won 2nd place in the world. She is also active in ballet, softball, cake decorating, piano, karate, and of course, raising pigs for 4H. She is perfect in all of these activities and we could not be more proud.

Brother, that darling, is top of his class, and his shit does NOT stink. He is trying out for the olympics, duodecathalon, and he is only 7 years old.

Our family is perfect, and we do perfect things like conserving water by recycling our own pee for drinking water just like the astronauts, and last summer we grew all of our own we were able to grow enough to end malnutrition in 4 African countries. Can you believe that? That mister and his organic fertilizer, you could not believe the tomatoes.

I hope this finds your family well, it will be next December before you know it, and I can try to rub your loser faces in all of our perfection once again. In love and Jesus.

So, I got our first of what is likely to be MANY holiday letters from Mr. P's side of the family. If you can't quite tell, I don't dig the holiday letter prepared for the masses. One year, I got one that was Wizard of Oz themed...bizarre.

How about you? Where do you stand on the holiday letter? What about the picture holiday card? What about...okay, maybe we should start at the beginning.

Do you like receiving....
holiday cards?
holiday cards even if they only include a signature, no personal note?
holiday cards with pictures?
holiday letters?

What do you send?

I am pro holiday cards, and for the last several years, I like them better with pictures, especially if there are children. Now, if I can be picky, and I am picky...I prefer if the picture is holiday themed and the children in coordinated, if not matching, outfits (if there is more than one child, of course). I also like the border to go with the picture. I am quite judgemental if your picture is from the beach, and there is a red/green border with candy canes. I came by this judgement after we used a picture from our Disney trip in a holiday card, and in retrospect, it was quite hideous. Last year, I did coordinate our outfits and made a better border choice. If it is a card with a picture, then I am okay with no personalization since it is hard to write on those. If it is a card with an enclosed photo of a child, I prefer a photo of said child with Santa. I also look for a holiday stamp. Not just Liberty. BORING.

While I am not particular on my celebratory Christmas creatures, I am a Christmas card bitch. Maybe that is why it is December 11 and I have only gotten two cards. People don't seem to like it when you edit their letter for grammatical and factual errors and send them back.

P.S. One work party under our belts, and after careful consideration we determined it to be a 3 beer party. Which means we stopped on the way and had 3 beers, then went to the party and drank water. We had the perfect buzz, ate a bunch of delicious food, chatted with ease, and now are home settled in...Mr. P and the boy are watching "Ratzilla" and I am about to watch Survivor. Party #2 tomorrow night.


creative kerfuffle said...

ugh i just had a huge comment and my computer barfed before i could post it.
i am a card hypocrit. in this, as in many aspects of life, i like receiving better than giving.
i hate getting cards w/ just the person's name, no note, though i frequently do this too.
i hate getting pics of people i never hear from except thru xmas cards, though again, i do this.
i like the photo cards and do not care if they come from the NORTH or SOUTH or if they are holiday themed or not. i like xmas stamps though i don't always use them.
we only used to get one xmas letter from one of the hubs' brother and his wife, but now that they are not as financially/maritally blissful we don't get them. their letters used to be the oh, look how perfect our lives are. karma baby.
we do not do holiday photos, i typically send the kids school pics, if i remember. last year half of my name only, school pic bearing, flower stamp having cards came back w/out proper postage. i might slap extra postage on there and resend them. my cards are always late. sometimes as late as jan. mid jan. i like getting cards. i like picking out the cards i want to send. however, i hate the sending process.

DAVs said...

I love the topic of this post. I am quite picky about holiday cards myself. While they can be hard to receive--long winded updates about all the kiddos with many adorable pics of babies and such--I do like getting them.

What I like: themed pictures. My favorites come from my friend Jane, who every year has her kids (each year there seems to be a new one) in some type of holiday hat, sitting with their English bulldog, also in some type of hat, and usually the babies are not smiling, but rather have a look of surprise on their face. It is very Gap ad, but adorable.

I do not like the long winded letters, though we have been guilty of doing letters ourselves. This year we decided to skip it. We decided it would be odd if we ignored the obvious (infertility) but yet also a real downer and we just weren't up to saying things like: "But it's ok, we know there are big plans for us and it will all work out in the end!!!!!" (my exclamation points are extremely sarcastic).

I also hate hate hate hate hate cards with only a lame signature. Gee, thanks.

This is all over the place, but our favorite card we ever sent was us posed on Lee's vintage Vespa scooter, holding presents, and done in black and white. Cheesy? Hell yeah. But it worked.

Sorry for the long comment, but I love giving my opinion on things.

Jen L. said...

I HATE Christmas letters! People always turn into one of two things in them:
1. Religious zealots (even though they are sitting across from you swiggin' Makers Mark the rest of the year)
2. Self-righteous, bragging fools
My uncle used to send one a lot like the one seen in your post, except it always inlcuded the heights of each of his kids. This would be ok, I guess, except he did it until they were in their early 20s. My mom kept threatening to send one that said "Well, Jen's 30 and still just five feet tall."
I like holiday cards with pictures, especially if the pictures are of cute children. We made Dean's picture with Santa our card this year and everyone's going nuts as they receive them. Yeah, we've only gotten 3 cards so far. Mine were in the mail on the 2nd, bitches. Reciprocate!

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I like them all- plain cards, just signed or with a note, with photos (matching or not), with a letter (bragging or boring, whatev). I just like getting something.

This year we haven't even taken the photo as it was supposed to happen Tuesday, but the kids got sick. I do like Christmasy photos in the card versus regular photos. Which makes me feel horrible because we've gotten only a million (ok, 11) so far and I haven't send mine out yet! Ack!

And you don't want my kids with Santa. It would just be a blur of girls trying to get off his lap and one pissed off Santa.

kathi said...

I haven't done Christmas cards in quite a few years. We still receive cards from those who don't feel as I do, and the ones I enjoy the most are the ones with photographs of kids or pets, holiday or not. None of my dogs have had the clothes-wearing gene so there is no chance of any cute Christmas canine photos from me.

As for the letters, if anyone could ever write one that didn't sound like a political self-promotion, maybe I'd like them better. Oh, and...

Brother, that darling, is top of his class, and his shit does NOT stink.

I did laugh out loud at that one. Perfectly sums up the tone of most typical holiday letters.

Creative Commons License
TheHotchPotchery by is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.