McFattie at the Olympics

I woke up this morning to a very chatty mother which means her eye is now "annoying" and not painful. which now means she is extra annoying and extremely painful. to me.


Mr. P and I decide we want to go for a run. We get ready and tell mom she is welcome to join us, because after we run at this particular park I like to feed the turtles. She grabbed a pack of cigarettes, a Diet Coke and a sandwich and crammed them all in her pocket. sweet.


I completed my second workout in the running challenge I joined earlier this week. The run was HOT and HARD. It is tougher than I thought it would be. I am doing intervals like week 1 of Couch to 5K, but they are longer, and I am trying to keep a 10ish minute mile for the running intervals. I am getting about 2.6 miles in distance in the 40 minutes, I can't quite keep up the running pace for the 1:40 I am 'supposed' to, but it will come.

After we finish and we feed the turtles, my mom says she needs to talk to me about something before my sister arrives. okay. what's up? She says that she really wants to go get an ice cream sundae. mmkay. why do we have to do that before my sister arrives?


"Your sister is serious about her counting points."


Apparently, I am keeping my amateur status in WeightWatchers in case I ever want to Fattie it up in the Olympics.


Now, do you want to hear how she bought a box of strawberry danish Poptarts, an Arizona Plum Tea and Transformer fruit snacks that were on CLEARANCE at the grocery store to eat on the plane on her way home? Or how she told me that she liked my taste, but that the rest of the world likely would not? Maybe we could talk about how my mother has made awful generalizations about people that made me slightly nutball, things like if someone is an illegal immigrant or from Iran they are likely a terrorist. Better yet, I will just tell you that she has been carrying around a piece of a sandwich in her pocket, and whining at me when it leaks on her.


We finished the day at the final performance of Fiddler on the Roof. The highschool kid is really impressive, we were quite proud. After mom presented him with flowers and told him how awesome he was, we lost her. It was raining so Mr. P said he would get the truck, so I hit the ladies room. I found the college kid in the lobby and asked where mom was. She looked around and said, 'oops, I lost her'. Then something catches my eye. Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, do NOT let that be my mother standing in the rain wearing a trash bag smoking a cigarette. right. in. front. of the theater.


damn it. no such luck. two down, six to go. fuck me.