Sunday, February 8, 2009

Missed the boat

I just finished watching Big Love from last week, the credits are still rolling actually. If you haven't watched it yet, I am going to offer up a spoiler and so you may want to quit reading.

Sarah is pregnant and she told her brother at the very end of the episode. She is a teenager. She isn't married. She has no college education. Her parents will NOT be pleased. When she tells people she is pregnant, it isn't news that is offered with great joy, nor is it received that way.

I feel for her. I have never gotten to call my sister or girlfriends with that news and have them be so excited. I have never had a baby shower with my family and friends. When I was 19 and got "knocked up" my parents were mortified and angry. When I got pregnant the second time, I didn't even tell them until I was 4 months pregnant (we lived in Germany) because I didn't think they would be happy for us. I am not sure if I was right, but I never really wanted to know.

Now I am almost 40 and our babies are grown up, the high school kid will be 18 in June. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and do not want to have a baby, it's just that if I did get pregnant, I feel like the sentiment from my other pregnancies would linger, even though I am an adult, married, and have an education. I kind of know that actually. I told my Dad a few years ago that Mr. P and I were thinking about another baby, and he told me that it was stupid.

I missed the "People are happy you are pregnant" boat. Looks like a really cool boat, and it makes me sad that I will never get to ride it.


DAVs said...

I know. It's a lonely boat. Oh wait--if we missed it, it isn't a lonely boat, more like a lonely view from the shore?
I'm sorry you didn't get to have that happy stuff, you totally should have. Maybe you can have a teenager and college-aged kid shower now? :) Just being silly.

Anonymous said...

That does suck because it is cool for people to be happy for you.

If you get another dog I'll have a baby shower for you. It will be creepy and awesome.

I moved. I shut down raising steamboat, it sucks.


Not Your Aunt Bea said...

Wow. Never thought of it that way. You totally deserve some of the so happy for youness, but I waited 4-5 months to tell people I was pregnant with both of the girls (including family). I just never thought they would be okay with it until it was pretty much a done deal.

autumn said...

yes i watch that same show too. you're not alone though, my mother in law hated the idea that we were prego, but then after he was born and she got that first look at him, she fell in love with her grandson.

Swistle said...

One of my friends is in her thirties and recently married, and says she only recently realized that if she got pregnant now it would be GOOD news, not "she ruined her life" news or "they should have waited news.

tara said...

If I lived there I would totally throw you a non baby shower!

But think of it this way. I have chosen not to have kids, so people think that there is something wrong with me. I must be some sort of crazy woman not to want children, and I will certainly 'change my mind'. If I had had a kid when I thought I wanted to people would have disapproved and told me I was being stupid.

So basically, you can't win. People are just never happy for some people.

It's because we are so much cooler than they are.

Astarte said...

That's terrible! WTF is wrong with your father?! I think that some parents never learn that sharing your opinion, especially rudely, is a luxury that stops once your kid is old enough to make their own decisions!

Look how well you've done for yourself. Shows them, huh?

creative kerfuffle said...

i'm sorry you didn't get to have that wonderful part of being pregnant. the first time someone congratulated us when i was pregnant w/ the girl (12 yrs ago) the hubs said, 'you do realize people are congratulating us for having sex right?' now, dammit, everytime someone i know is pregnant and i congratulate them i think of that and it makes me laugh.

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