Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I have a serious problem

with NOT being able to get food from a plate to my mouth without something inevitably landing on my shirt. I am not talking about when I eat spaghetti, or padthai with chopsticks...I am talking I can eat a salad without dressing and STILL stain my clothes. This problem came to a head this morning when I was getting ready for work.

So, I decide on black dress pants, and I will couple it with a turtleneck sweater since it is in the chillzone down here. My first choice: blue. I feel like blue works best with my winter coloring.

mmkay. I seem to have a little schmutz on my sweater. Throw on the bed, and go for red, in celebration of nearly Valentine's Day, and damn, I look good in red too.

Okay. FINE. How about a nice forest green?

Holy Hell. Now I am down to pink and lavender. And orange. But I wore orange last week. Okay, fine. Pink.

Well at least there is some variety. Instead of stain residue on the boobage area, there seems to be wing sauce on the near ass area. So I guess I am stuck with the lavender. ugh.

Yes, I am aware that wearing the exact same outfit every day with slight changes in hue does not make me ready for fashion week. But if you can buy a sweater for $6, I say buy it, and all of its friends. That way, when you ruin FIVE of them (I spilled bleach on my brown one), you still have a fucking purple sweater to wear to work.


DAVs said...

Hey I like the purple!
And Lee does the exact same thing. EVERY single item of clothing he has has a mysterious "grease" stain on it. He said if he ever dies and they can't identify his body, just look for the grease stain and I'll know it's him. Morbid, but true.

creative kerfuffle said...

i do the exact same thing. and so does the hubs. after trying furiously to get the stains out i just started tossing the damn things. now if i could only get the hubs to do this; instead he puts them back in the closet like there's a stain fairy in there that's going to work some magic. and i love the lavender color on you and love the necklace too. : )

Lisa aka water_nymph said...

LOL!! i hear ya loud and clear!!

i love love love wearing white.

do u know how many white shirts i now use for working out cuz there is a stain on them??

p.s. love the necklace!

Anonymous said...

I carry a Tide stain removal pen with me at all times for this very reason.

Tracy said...

You have an eating disorder.

I am spilly too.

Alice said...

man, i have the same problem! except i, uh, just wear the shirt anyway.

HAHAHA tracy.. an eating disorder! i have one too :-)

Hotch Potchery said...

Tracy: The first title for the blog was "I have an eating disorder", but because I am doing that Biggest Loser thing, and who knows how many google hits I would get from that I changed my mind. But you are is funny.

Astarte said...

HA!!! My girls are like a Shelf O' Spills. Sigh.

Girlfriend, you need some shirts to wear over those turtlenecks. Then, no one will know, and you can always take off the overshirt while you eat, thus only spilling on the already-stained turtleneck.

BTW, I own the same turtleneck in several different colors, too. Sales is sales.

Astarte said...

(Hmmm.... my comment didn't appear after I wrote it... so if I now have two, that's why.)

I do the same freakin' thing. My boobs are magnets.

Get some shirts to wear over the turtlenecks. That way, you can still wear them, and then take off the overshirts when you eat to make sure you only get mess on the already-stained turtlenecks!

grace said...

Speaking as someone who is down to having only 2 black t-shirts left (my husband thinks it's just hilarious that I manage to stain even BLACK), I can sooooo sympathize!

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

I get the mystery stains too. But they're coupled with the lovely spit-up stains on my shoulder or down the back of my shirt, poop stains near the bottom of my shirts (from baby's famous blow-outs), or snot anywhere (and no, it is NOT mine). Tres chic!

Mandy Lou said...

I'm not so much with the mystery stains as much as the mystery bruises - on the upside they usually get covered with the exact same turtle necks that you have :-)

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

Your man is a hero! And LOST was good! We finally finished watching it at midnight.

Krissy said...

I buy the same shirt in different colors all the time. Not because I spill on myself (but I do do that a lot) but because once I find something I actually like I need to get all the colors available because I actually liked clothing. It's hard to find clothes that fit AND you look good in.

Creative Commons License
TheHotchPotchery by is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.