nothing to see here

now that I have had a good night's sleep after a semi-nuclear breakdown yesterday. I am trying so hard to live in the NOW and be HAPPY and POSITIVE that it all became too much yesterday and it manifested in my passive aggressive tendencies towards Mr. P in a very bizarre way.

I registered for the 1/2 marathon yesterday. I registered for myself. NOT Mr. P.

Then when we were gathering stuff for our trip this weekend I told him, "Hey, if you are going to run that race, you need to register." He looked at me quite surprised. "You didn't register me?"

To which I replied, "Well, you aren't training at all, and it is in two months, so I wasn't sure if you are serious about it or not."

Yowza.

Then when we were watching some TV later and he said, "You really didn't register me?"

AND I am OFF.

When we take a trip, I make EVERY arrangement. I pick the hotel, make the reservations, rent the car (if need be), arrange for the dog, and every other detail that has to be taken care of. Mr. P has NEVER registered for a 5 or 10K himself. I do it. I pay every bill that we have with the exception of his student loan. I take care of health insurance, car insurance, all paperwork. And yesterday I was COMPLETELY over it. So, when it came time to register for the race, I selected to register for myself only.

I told him that I wanted him to start acknowledging all that I do. He just ASSumes that I will take care of it, but he never really asks or thanks me for it all. So I said if he would ask me to register him, I would. He wouldn't.

I am going to be very upset if he ends up not doing this race with me because while I believe I am RIGHT about his taking some initiative now and then, it is making me nauseous that maybe he won't remember or take the time to register.

Maturity reigns at Chez Potchery.

Life happens, so you should LIVE

When I was in 10th grade we moved to Alabama and I started high school with 350 kids. I was still the 'new' kid when we graduated 3 years later because everyone else had been going to school together since Kindergarden.

Anyway, during that first week of 10th grade I was assigned two lab partners in Biology and one of those lab partners led to most of my high school friends and many, many memories. As typical with a small town high school, we had crushes on each other (at different points in time), he was the object of a very weird love triangle with two of my now very good friends, we played tennis, drank grain alcohol mixed into Hawaiin Punch, collected 50 seeds for Biology and during that project I tried chewing tobacco and dry heaved for hours and hours, he joined my church and we went through confirmation classes and softball coached by my father.

We lost touch after high school and he made some very bad choices. VERY bad. But, at the 20 year reunion he was sober and looked great, his wife seemed happy, and their kids are cute.

(He is in the blue shirt).

I have now spent 10 minutes trying to decide how to tell you where I am in the photo if you couldn't tell. I am on his right when looking at the photo, but really I am on his left IN the photo and I don't know which one is the right way to tell you. How about I have on the white shirt. I babble, because the hard stuff is next.

************************************************
Two nights ago, he was speeding, drinking and not wearing his seatbelt. He is in a coma.

************************************************

The evening I got the news about my high school friend, some friends asked us AGAIN to go skiing/snowboarding/tubing with them for the weekend. I immediately said, "Maybe next year when I have lost a bit more weight." They are used to that song and dance and just smiled and said, "cool".

Then I looked at Mr. P and out of NOwhere I said, "YES. We CAN go." So yesterday I found a hotel, rented a car, got a pet sitter, and figured out what we have to do to rent equipment. Tomorrow at lunch we will pack up and head north to a VERY cold eight degree mountain and we will try our hands at skiing and tubing and bringing in the New Year in a life where I no longer say NO because of my weight.

I am done WAITING. I am ready to be LIVING.

Because you just never know.

yeah, you probably SHOULD judge me

because I am eating bon-bons...but not MY bon-bons, but Mr. P's bon-bons because my Mom loves me and Penny and therefore did not give us any bon-bons. Oh, don't judge me for eating candy, but instead because while I eat bon-bons I am just now working on my Christmas cards.

AND

I wrote a.

a.
a.

Christmas letter. I know. I know. I laugh at the Christmas letter writer people.

also, judge me because I compiled a 'collage' photo to include. oh dear, how obnoxious am I?

Anyways, I thought I would share with all of you because other than a few people, I like my interwebs better than most I am sending this too. (Except for YOU, of course).

December 28, 2009
LATE LATE LATE!

We wanted to wish everyone a great holiday season, and even picked out cards out very, very early this year, but we wanted to include an updated family photo and time got away from us—

But…while we have your attention, we will provide a quick update, this has been a HUGE year!

CK2 graduated high school, got a scholarship to Auburn, moved into an apartment (with CK), and completed his first semester in college. He was in two community theater productions this year, Fiddler on the Roof and Miracle Worker.

CK turned TWENTY and is now a senior at Auburn. She has decided on her career…high school science teacher! She will graduate next December. CK spent her summer in upper NY working at Camp Echo Lake and currently works at the after school program where she attended Kindergarden, talk about full circle.

Mr. P and I are enjoying our empty nest, and are anxiously awaiting my tenure decision. I put my packet together in October and should get the final word in early spring. We are definitely hoping for tenure since my sister and her family, and my mother moved to Auburn this year.

It has been a good year for our family, and we hope all of you are well! Hope you had a terrific holiday season!!!

P.S. Santa brought our family a cruise to Mexico for Christmas, and that is when we finally managed to get all of us in a photo!

Commence barfing and gagging, and check out the photo collage:



Merry Christmas. again.

Indulgent, much?

The cruise was DEC.A.DENT. Here is an alphabetical sampling of what I did/ate/drank/saw:


angel fish
bacon
banana daiquiri
Beatles show
bingo
bread pudding
Bud Light
butter
champagne
cheerios
cheese burger
cherries jubilee
chicken fingers
chile relleno
cold strawberry soup
Diet Coke
Dos Equis
duty-free store
flamingos
flying fish
french bread
french fries
french onion soup
french toast
fruit
guacamole
Gulf of Mexico
hammock
hash browns
jogging
karaoke
kayak
lobster
lounging
mangroves
Michelob Ultra
Mongolian barbecue
omelet
pedal boats
quesadilla
queso fundido
ratatouille
reading
Riesling
rye bread
shrimp
sunburn
Tecate Light
tilapia
towel folding class
tree crabs
tuna salad
water trampoline
yogurt

Mr. P and I LOVED cruising and will definitely be going on another as soon as we can coordinate the time off. It was great spending time with the family while NOT dealing with 'real life'.

I will go through the pictures tomorrow and find some that do not fit the adage, "What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico!".

Christmas was fantastic, BUT food has been out of control, same with drink. I am just bloated and BLECH. Ready to get back on the straight and narrow. Will slowly begin to catch up with all of you, and catch you up with what is going on here.

Feliz Navidad!

Bon Voyage!!

In about 7 minutes we will be headed towards the Gulf of Mexico and our cruise ship.

Things here are still "ehh", but I am putting that aside until December 28th.

I am actually at my lowest weight so far this journey, let's see if I can maintain whilst about the giant floating buffet!!!

I just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy Holiday, Merry Christmas, Good Kwanzaa or Chipper Channakah...whatever it is that you celebrate, I hope it is great. Catch you on the flip side!

in TRAINING

I officially started my half marathon training today with a 4 mile run that I had to complete in the rain since that is all it has done here in days. and days. and days.

There is some stuff going on 'round Chez Potchery...nothing BAD in itself per se, but pile on a bunch of moderately troublesome stuff and it gets to feeling like a giant pile of shit. Anyway, that stuff has kept me from wanting to blog at all because I want to write about how I feel about the stuff that is going on, but really? They aren't my stories to really blog about in depth if that makes sense. Nothing is going on with ME, stuff is going on with other people that matter to ME.

Oh, but in stuff I can blog about? I took my kids car away. I am very conflicted over this. I feel guilty for taking the car, but relieved because now I can get some stuff done that I have needed to do. When I see grades for this semester I will reevaluate my position.

In Challenge news? I stayed the same weight this week, which is a good thing. I did not log my food. boo. I did not drink 80 oz of water. double boo. There was an additional challenge to try something new...so when I roasted veggies the other night I included brussel sprouts and got everyone to try them (me, Mr. P, CK and CK2). We all agreed that the first one or two are cool, but then they get over-powering. Not sure they will get moved into our permanent repetoire.

I hope to shake these blahs soon, because I sure do miss the blogoshere!

eight miles is FAR

It is official!

I am starting 1/2 marathon training on December 15th and I am pretty stoked. The half is on March 7 at the beach. I am very excited about it.

One of the "prerequisites" of the program was to be able to run 8 miles. Check out my Nike girl---eight.miles. and .02 just for good measure. I felt pretty good up until 7.25ish miles, then the last part was really tough. I wanted to go into work this afternoon, but not sure I have another 1.5 miles in me (to get to the transit, then to my office). I am going to go watch Biggest Loser and try to get pumped up about going to work.

Mr. P's work drama was a one person firing for being a jackass, not a layoff...so everyone else is fine. We ended up not going to the movie because CK had a flat tire, and Mr. P went to help out and then followed her to Walmart so he got home a bit later than we thought...no biggie, instead we went and played trivia and listened to some music. It was fun, we had a really good night. Tonight is family dinner with tacos, crafts and games, and then we have one more weekend until MEX.ICO.

luckily for them, the shirt WAS good

Oh man, the 10K was BRU.TAL. I don't know how the hell they managed, but the whole entire thing seemed completely uphill. And not tiny little hills, but long, long hills that lasted for 20 miles. Oh, the whole race was only 6.2 miles? My bad.

My iPod messed up and told me I had 2.5 kilometers to go, when I thought I had about 1, so I slowed down, and didn't make my goal time...I did it in 1:21 something. Plus, I got lost at one point. I was actually last and the two people in front of me turned and against my better judgement I did too, and that led me astray for a few minutes...oh well, excuses aside as soon as it was done I was thrilled to have done it, and I wore my shirt with pride that afternoon. (and I finished SECOND to last, thank you very much.)

Sadly, I haven't run since. I had a long, slow run planned for today and it rained/drizzled all day and I was sure I didn't want to attempt 8 miles when I was damp/wet. Maybe tomorrow.

I managed to lose 1.6 pounds even with a day of baking on Sunday where I MAY have sampled at least one of about 7 kinds of cookies that I made for the family. I don't know why I bake when I KNOW I can't resist. I said it was to make my kids study care packages for finals, but it is more likely I wanted a reason to eat some cookies.

Mr. P and I were going to see the Blind Side tonight, but he just texted me that he is going to be late because they are having a meeting re: layoffs. He is safe, but it makes my stomach hurt to think of people getting laid off/fired right before the holidays. OH, and speaking of fired, my cousin supposedly got fired for stealing $83. Weird, huh?

Well, I told Mr. P I would get ready to be dazzling company for him this evening since he is bound to be bummed...So I am going to go put on a good bra, low cut shirt, practice my understanding/compassionate doe eyes, dab some vanilla behind my ears and watch some stand-up comedy that I can pretend I made up on the spot. the things we do for love.

this SHIRT better be good

It is 37 degrees.

It is overcast and windy and gray.

It is 7am on a SATURDAY.

The damn shirt better be damn good because a damn 10K under these damn conditions seems like it should almost qualify me for the damn winter olympics.



FYI: I am not really a morning person.

tis the season to go SHOPPING

Normally by this time every holiday season I am in shear panic mode trying to make sure that we are getting the kids the right gifts both in quantity and quality, and while I have done this to myself, I realized last year that I was kind of over that stress.

As if to assure me that last year I was correct in how the holidays were making me crazy, the same thing already started happening...I ordered the kids what I thought were comparable Advent calendars and once they arrived, CK2's was noticably better, and I don't want CK to be upset and so the parent guilt of keeping kids 'even' continues.

The Advent calendar debacle makes me even more grateful that Mr. P and I came to a decision in August that we put into motion in October. No presents this year. Well, no piles of gifts under the tree this Christmas morn. NO, we haven't gone all Scrooge or hippie or anything. (I don't know why I thought maybe hippies didn't give presents, but it fit in the sentence.)

Instead? We booked a 5 day cruise to Mexico for December 19- 24. We will be home by noon on Christmas Eve all set to do all of our traditional Christmas stuff after having spent 5 days together, the 4 of us, in sunny MEXICO. So that means I don't have to spend the next three weeks scouring the Internet for deals or trolling Best Buy and stacking and restacking and then stacking their gifts just.one.more.time to make sure they are going to be happy.

So, my biggest stress of Christmas? Gone.

But today Mr. P and I are going shopping. We have two Toys for Tots events...tonight a basketball game, and tomorrow the 10K, so we are going to go buy toys. FUN. Plus when we had family dinner at the mall on Wednesday I took a tag off a tree to buy a toy for a baby in need. That was the last thing we did, and we were all walking out of the mall, less one Mr. P.

When he caught up to us, and that crabby, grumpy, delicious Mr. P had a tag from the tree for Seniors that live in a local retirement home. He said, "I nearly teared up when I saw that someone made a tag and had to ask for lotion and a blanket."

This afternoon we will be dining at Olive Garden (DON'T you snicker. CARB loading for the 10K tomorrow), then buying 5 toys and lotion and a kick.ass blanket!

How about you? How do you feel about the shopping part of the holidays?

it's OK to be fat and work out...

I have been struggling with food lately, having more bad days than good, so today before I decided on my lunch I found the 'Where are they now' episode of Biggest Loser online and am watching it now (in another window, of course). At the beginning of the episode the doctor made a comment about one of the impacts the show has made on America and it is that the show has made it so that it is okay to be fat and work out. That is really resonating with me.

It took me a long time to feel okay about going to fitness classes, using the weights at the gym, running on the treadmill, running in public...I still wonder if people who pass me or see me are thinking things like:

A little late, dontcha think?

or maybe,

That isn't going to help you, Fattie McFat.

But you know what? I think I (mostly) don't care anymore.

On a somewhat related note, for which I could figure out no graceful or clever transition, I read a post today that inspired me to do something else for my health, and that is to make my appointment for my "annual exam" (I think it has been three years since my last one, OOPS) so that I can then get a referral for a baseline mammogram now that I am at the big 4-0.

Okay, back to the Biggest Loser episode...it ended on the note of finding a DAY TO DAY way to live a healthier life...not the Biggest Loser ranch way, but a real-life way that you can do for.ever. I am definitely NOT there yet, but heading that way for sure.

So on that note, before some lunch, I will get in my last run before the 10K on Saturday, then will have a nice pasta with chopped spinach and broccoli.

Best ADVENT calendar EVA

If you haven't been around these here parts long, then you don't know how I feel about the season of Advent from a gift perspective. I like, no LOVE getting a tiny gift each day, or different gifts leading up to Christmas. I am very gifty. It doesn't have to be much, I just love the thrill of opening presents here and there as opposed to all at once.

A few years ago Mr. P got this whole thing started by having the 12 Days of Christmas for me where I got a teensie tinsie ornament from Hallmark every day for 12 days to go on cutie picture frames. He did this for two years.

The next year, I got a Peyton Manning themed Advent which included a Peyton ornament, Colts stocking, a KICK.ASS official 18 Jersey, a Peyton Manning rookie football card and a subscription to Sports Illustrated. No daily prize, but here and there. It worked for me. (no duh, right?)

The next two years I did Advent for Mr. P. Both times I got him Lego Advent Calendars, the first I got at the Lego store at Disney, and because he dug it so much, last year I ordered Playmobil, Lego and Littlest Pet Shop calendars for all of us. Then.it.happened.

Long story short, Mr. P didn't do anything for me for Advent and my feelings were crushed. THEN he had the gall to complain when he got an ice cream stand as his prize. (I personally liked the Lego prisoner, complete with handcuffs as one of his prizes, what? You don't see the Christmas in that?) Anyway, I got completely defensive and told him it was all him next year. I expected a season of Advent from him next year, which coincidentally is right.now.



I was sure he hadn't done it and had no plans for it. I even sort of called him out. (Yeah, I am a spectacular human being.) I got home today and on the mantle there was a prize, wrapped, for me. It was this:

For those not from around here, this is an artistic rendering of the iconic building of our University. Cool, no?

You know what is cooler? Mr. P made it for me. MADE it. That is his theme for this year, he is making me stuff. I am so excited. I made a comment to him that he should have saved this one for later, because it rocks so hard it would be hard to beat it. He laughed and said, "OH NO, it won't be. Just wait."

He knows me better than that. I CAN'T.

YIN(g) and YANG

So, apparently the saying is YIN and YANG, not YING and YANG as in the YING YANG Twins. I learned that today after reading Nilsa's post about Thanksgiving.

Yesterday I learned that what I have been called a SHUFFLE pass, and Mr. P has been calling a SHUDDLE pass (to each.other even) is actually a SHOVEL pass.

Last night I had a quick spelling bee at our MNF Bingo gig, and I, the HOSTESS, had Massachusetts spelled wrong. MASSECHUSETTS is what I had on my paper.

What the hell man?

So after my debacle of a breakfast yesterday I posted that I would do better for lunch. I ended up in meetings right after my class so I didn't get to leave for lunch until 2:30 and I bolted across the street to Firehouse Subs. On the way I made the decision to have Jalapeno Popper Doritos (7 POINTS) with my sandwich. DUDES, as luck would have it, they didn't even have them, so I had Southwestern Baked Lays instead. Then I had a grilled chicken salad for dinner.

and 4 fried pickles. and 1 french fry.

All POINTS tallied, I am halfway through my Weeklies on Day 1 of the week. Stellar.

Today though, I have done a 5K (which I haven't uploaded yet because I still like the 7.03 under my Nike+ girl), took the dog for a walk, and ate my yogurt breakfast which while I was eating I thought...YUM, this is so.much.tastier. than greasy hash rounds. I have plans to hit my favorite 6.5 POINT lunch (slice of cheese pizza and spinach salad) and finish my day not touching any.more.weeklies.