Sunday, Sunday

I broke out the regular clothes today and went to lunch and a movie with the kiddos and Mr. P. We went to Olive Garden for our annual "Never Ending Pasta" fest...I was a good(ish) girl and had salad, and one bowl of pasta (angel hair with 5 Cheese Marinara)...no breadsticks, and no refills. At the movies...NO popcorn, and Diet Coke only. Victorious.


The movie was another story. Mr. P had to do some work, so he went off after lunch and the kids and I headed to the movies. We wanted to see Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist, but due to timing, we went to see Blindness instead. SPOILER: If you want to see Blindness, skip the next paragraph (you know, the 4 other people that have ever even seen the blog...)

I am freaked out by the possibility of being arrested or put in jail for something I haven't done and having no one believe me....I truly believe the frustration would drive me mad. It's like when you were a teenager and you tell your parents that you did not go to the party in the field 7 miles out of town and they. just. don't. believe. you. even though you didn't go (this time). This movie brought that up for me HUGE. It was in a word...disturbing. Basically a bunch of people go blind, and in a state of panic the government locks them all up without any oversight (no pun intended). One group of people get ahold of the food and first ask for all the valuables in exchange for eating...then ask for the women to...well, you know... it both broke my heart and twisted my guts.

It is this type of feeling that gets me so upset about work. Two years ago I had a horrendous Fall semester. My grandfather died the first day of classes, my mother went downhill, my sister had just had a baby and I wasn't able to be as active in that as I would have liked, and then my grandmother died. I was stressed beyond belief and one day in class my students were very unprepared, I snapped and sent them home for the day. They retaliated by raping me in my evaluations...to such an extent I nearly got fired this past semester (a whole other story for another post). There was absolutely nothing I could do. Was I unprofessional? Maybe for 3 minutes of an entire semester, but I was teaching a graduate class and they had not done their work. Was I so horrid that I damaged them in any way? NOT EVEN CLOSE, yet their damage to me is still not repaired, and it makes me crazy. I have one other situation at work where there was a misunderstanding between me and a full professor, and the person who caused it thought it would blow over and so may no efforts to fix it. Another blog for another day...but suffice it to say it hasn't blown over, and now it may be too late. It sucks because the cause of the misunderstanding is my boss.

Do I think my work junk is as bad as the movie situation? No. But I feel frustrated and trapped with no recourse just the same. I know the answer could be...go get a different job...which in theory is excellent advice, but major research Univesities are pretty limited in this particular neck of the woods, and it would require a major move for Mr.P and I, which may be forthcoming, but it is best for the family if I stick it out and hope for the best.

Bottom line: I went out with the kids today to see a funny movie with no message and a potentially good soundtrack. Instead I got twisted guts...no fun for Sunday night.