Friday, September 18, 2009

split this.

So, last Thursday after I did a thorough house cleaning I decided I deserved new sheets because I need additional reasons to stay in bed all damn day (see Tuesday). So I head over to my bestie Overstock.com and buy 800 thread count sheets for our king bed for $99. Next day, Mr. P and I are at Bed, Bath and Beyond and lesser thread count sheets are $70 EACH (flat and fitted) and I feel completely justified in spending $80 at Old Navy on a new dress and other 'necessities'.



The sheets arrived on Wednesday and Mr. P opened them.



Mr. P: What is a split king set?

Me: (as I look at the package and feel the sheets) A flat sheet and a fitted set? Remember at BBB you had to buy them separate?

Mr. P: Oh. Should I put them in the wash?

Me: Yeah, I am done sleeping like a peasant on regular sheets.



(From the laundry room)

Mr. P: Fuck.

Me: What?

Mr. P: Split means the fitted is SPLIT into two twins or whatever and I already put flat sheet in the washer with soap and water.





What the hell is wrong with me? How do I not know that? Plus when I looked at what I ordered, the NON-split king sets of 1000 count sheets were $20 less. So...anyone need a pair of sage split king fitted sheets?



Oh, and would you have known what that meant?

20 comments:

creative kerfuffle said...

now that you've explained it i guess i understand it, but i never would have known what split sheets are. how truly bizarre. my box springs for the king are split, but not the mattress. why would the mattress be split? and if it were split, what's to keep them from sliding apart? and if they're split are they just two twins pushed together? too much to ponder.

Lynne said...

I had no idea what splitted sheets meant. That's good information to know.

Not Your Aunt B said...

Why would you ever even need those? How does that even work? My brain does not compute.

Fatinah said...

I hate when that happens! URGH!!

Tammie said...

i agree with aunt b....im just not getting it. this sounds truly retarded.

SoMi's Nilsa said...

If we had room for a king sized bed and actually bought one, I *might* know what a split king was. Emphasis on might.

Shelley said...

My Grandmother had a split king bed when her husband was still living - although I didn't know that was what you called it. She liked it because they could toss and turn and not disturb each other. Sucks that you have nice sheets you can't use!

So what does the dress look like? I still have a hard time shopping at Old Navy - I think because I was never really able to buy their clothes when they first opened, so I am intimidated by their women's section.

HopeFool said...

The first time I bought "good" sheets was from Overstock too - 1200 TC white for $80 and we still have them. I'll never go back to Target/Walmart bedding, ever.

(I never heard of a split king either. I'm thinking maybe it could be for adjustable beds? Confused...)

DAVs said...

I got nothin'.

I love new sheets, I especially like it when it gets cold and I can put my super soft t-shirt sheets on the bed. Come on fall!

Penny said...

I still don't understand...it was actually TWO fitted sheets? That makes no sense to me, then why would you get one flat sheet and not two? Why not just one big fitted sheet? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

kilax said...

Whoa! I have a King, but that sounds REALLY complicated! Who knows, maybe you will end up loving them! What color are they?

wafelenbak said...

I had no clue. Seriously, why wouldn't that just be two twin sets?
I still get hung up on whether I have a "full" or a "double". I think "double" was the old school name for it...

chezjulie said...

I agree with Kerfuffle. My parents had a king bed that was two box springs hooked together, but it just had a single king mattress on top of it and used a normal king sheet. I've never heard of a split king.

I think you should try getting your money back anyway. They seem like they might be one of those "no questions asked" type places.

Jen L. said...

Aw crap.
My in-laws had a split king until about a month ago. It always baffled me. I was like, why don't you just get 2 beds?

Lucy said...

I have never heard of such a thing??
Guess you are going to have some expensive paint drop cloths (lol)

Jenn said...

I've never heard of that before, either!

F. McButter Pants said...

Hell no...I have never heard of such a thing.

Is there no way you can return them? I would at least call and bitch.

Why not say 2 twin sheets..weird?

LiLu said...

Ugh! I totally wouldn't have known that either. Sad face Magee!

Alice said...

ha! nope, i would have had no idea either. thanks for clueing us all in...!!

Astarte said...

I still don't get what you're talking about!!!! The only thing I've ever heard of that comes close is when I saw a set of sheets at Plow and Hearth that was split between one side flannel and the other side regular, but I'm pretty sure it was one sheet with two sides attached together. That's just stupid, what you have there. I would call and complain, too. Sheesh.

 
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