Tuesday, September 29, 2009

asstastic

So I have got the hemorrhoids. I actually got them when I was pregnant with the College Kid, but they never, ever bothered me.

That is over.

The 'home care' as prescribed by Dr. Google?

Ice.

Really?

I am supposed to put ice on my...or in my...well, you know where hemorrhoids are. AND lay on my side. It is hard to computer laying on my side with ice...well, you know. AND it isn't like my arm is sore, or I pulled a muscle...so it is hard to explain to people that I can't hang out or do things because my hemorrhoids hurt too much. jeez. If it isn't one thing it's another. damn.

ETA: I think it is really fitting that I spelled hemorrhoids wrong THREE times in this post (don't check now, I fixed it.)

15 comments:

kilax said...

Ouch! I have never had them, but someone close to me did... and stayed home from work for a week. You poor thing!

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Sounds awful. I take it running doesn't help? Boo.

Tammie said...

ugh.

'roids suck. mine flare up (such a lovely term) a few times a year. preperation H is a friend of mine. hang in there.

wafelenbak said...

Can I just say I totally love that you write openly about your hemorhoids?
They hurt though, and yes, the solutions are quite limited. Blah pooey.
I hope you feel better soon.

Penny said...

what about ASS-pirin?

ha ha ha
ha ha ha
ha!

I think I'm funny.

Shelley said...

I think Penny's funny, too!

Sorry your butt hurts, HP.

DAVs said...

Oh my.
I don't know what to say except I'm sorry?
Feel better soon!

tara said...

Witch hazel works really well for the itching, but the pain is ridiculous and really just has to be waited out. I'm sorry.

Lynne said...

Yikes! I'm so sorry. I hope you get some relief soon.

creative kerfuffle said...

penny's comment almost made me pee my pants. i love that you wrote this, though i know that shit hurts.

Tammie said...

ha..penny kills me.

chezjulie said...

Poor thing. That sounds awful. I hope you are going to talk to a doctor with more credibility than Dr. Google.

Not Your Aunt B said...

I know way more about this than anyone should- another *blessing* of being an ER nurse.

Preparation H cream & suppositories
Tucks or witch hazel pads
Ice packs (baby diapers opened to where you can stuff ice into the stuffing part or maxi pads soaked in water then frozen slightly)
Donut pillow seat
No straining (lots of water and fiber and docusate)

If that doesn't work, get thee to a GI doctor. You can get a rectal rocket. RECTAL ROCKET. YES. That is the name. Better than the surgery they have for them as I am sure that is a pain in the ass in more ways than one.

Just don't come to the ER unless you are bleeding to death because we will all die in fits of giggles and snorts over the rectal rocket part.

Feel better HP.

Astarte said...

OK, I'll admit it - since having the kids, I get them on my labia. It used to happen all the time, but over the last few years I hardly get them at all. I'm so sorry you have them!!!! Ow! And, itchy! I used Tucks Pads on mine, which is basically witch hazel, and that helped. There was no way I was sicking ice in my crotch!

Anonymous said...

hotchpotchery.blogspot.com is very informative. The article is very professionally written. I enjoy reading hotchpotchery.blogspot.com every day.
ontario payday loan
online payday loans canada

 
Creative Commons License
TheHotchPotchery by hotchpotchery.blogspot.com is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.