I worked 14 hours on Monday and I was exhausted.
I woke up Tuesday morning and learn that my sister is having a hard few days and that makes me feel awful because I can't do anything to help her. Then a mere minutes later I learn that my colleague died. He was 38 years old. His wife is FORTY. FORTY. My exact age. Her husband, her life partner is gone. She has three children. She is FORTY.
So I went running and got all inside my own head with angst and mortality thoughts and more and more and more angst. I decide to power through and head to circuits. After circuits I am flying through the locker room getting changed for hula.
I run into an old friend. She started out as my sister's boss. Then she gave Mr. P some work one summer that we were really broke...he painted her restaurant silver. It still is silver and it always makes me smile when I see it. She gave my kid's their first jobs. Last year during the awful, brutal 10K she hung with me a bit and high fived and was super supportive of my weightloss/exercise efforts. Anyways I ask her how she has been and she blurts out, "My mom died." fuck me. They were shopping on New Year's Eve and her mom just fell down...she had a stroke and died and I never had any idea. I really rock on the friend frontier.
So I went to hula.
Then I cried.
I am trapped in my own head and I can't get out.