recovering

Last week was an emotional rollercoaster. After getting the great news Monday, we celebrated. After the horrific Wednesday, we commiserated and mourned and we have moved to the recovery phase. Some of you may think I have gotten to the recovery stage too soon...honestly, I just can't do the sad thing for very long, I can do it DEEP and FAST and DEEP again, but I don't have the stamina to sustain. I loved my dog. I hate that she is gone, I had her for 38% of my life, and it is weird not having her around now. I have read and re-read my post about her and all of your wonderful, comforting comments and cried at least once every day, until today. Today I remembered that she also used to sleep in the bathtub, (we figure it was the only place she could keep cool in our tiny Texas duplex), and I smiled.

During all of this, I didn't count points and kind of fell apart from a health perspective. I tried to make some healthier choices (I drank Michelob Ultra and ate veggie pizza, mmm. Not buying those as the 'healthier choices' ? yeah. so anyway...), and I managed to get out and run 3 times. I provided myself with excellent rationales the whole.week. Even until just TWO minutes ago when I had a 100 Calorie pack of Orea Cakesters and some fruit snacks even though I am not hungry. I just wanted it, and damn it, insert excuse here, I am going to have it.

I am mad at myself now that all those other emotions aren't in there to fuck with me, it is going to suck to have to lose the same weight AGAIN next week that I lost last week, but that is the way the Oreo Cakesters crumble.

On a related, but sort of completely different note: Thanks for being there for me. My sister is great support, and Mr. P rocked as well, but my Dad, well, he wrecked his truck, and my mom, well, she let me talk for 4ish minutes before we talked about her dog that died (which for my mom is actually quite good), so it was really, really amazing to know that there were 28 people across the world who felt bad that Nala died with me. I switched to Google Reader during my crappy days, because I wanted to read, but didn't have the words to comment other than, "thanks for saying you were sorry my dog died" and that was getting pretty depressing, even though really, really thanks for saying that.

Some of you did some pretty cool things that I loved reading about, even when I was feeling pretty sorry for myself:

Bea, I LOVED that you decked out as Batman and friends...that 5K time was rocking. AND, I have a picture of me and Mr. P with Rick Perry outside our duplex. Seth McKinney (TAMU center) lived next door and his dad and the gov were BFF.
Ashley, those crepes look SO good, and I am so happy for you that the little brother called to tell you about his successes, that means a lot.
Kilax, I hope I get to the point where I need to refuel with Jelly Bellies, not oxygen! What do you do about water? I am parched after 2K every.single.time.
Nilsa, it is really cool that you got out there and helped in that neighborhood...I need to get involved like that, and thanks for the reader tutorial.
Tara, your garden makes me GREEN with envy. I love it. LOVE it. AND, thanks so much for the commercial, it made me laugh.
Tracy, I love your photo comparisons, it is crazy how time goes by so fast.

Look how presumptuous I am that these bloggers will actually read this post...now it is kind of making me nervous and antsy that I am being too presumptuous. There are many more comments I want to share, and other bloggers did some cool stuff too, and I plan on spending some time tomorrow catching up with everyone.

I needed the time away, but I missed you guys!