Monday, November 8, 2010

Sometimes mail is not for reading

So, the bug guy left me a letter today:

Dear HotchPotchery,

Today I put a giant vat of bug killer all around the outside of your house. It is not organic, and is actually the most opposite of organic that is possible...it is man-made horrible poison made with extra cancer and if you accidentally lick it you will get tongue tumors within 5 minutes. However, this toxic substance will kill the following critters:

American Roaches, Ants, Ants, Species Unknown, Argentine Ants, Big Headed Ants, Ghost Ants, House Ants, Outdoor roaches, Pavement Ants, Pharoah Ants, Roach Species Unknown, Roaches, Scorpions, Silverfish, Smoky Brown Roaches, Spiders.

Yours Truly,

The Bug Guy



UMMMMMM....Roach Species Unknown?

SOLD.

I threw the letter away.

(I ad libbed the orange italics...but surely that is what the bug guy meant by "I treated the exterior and pest entry points.")

7 comments:

wafelenbak said...

Tee hee.
I thought the Ghost Ants sounded pretty scary. :/

Swistle said...

He had me at spiders.

Alice said...

there is a time and a place for extra-cancer causing poison, and that list of horrors is one of them.

Tammie said...

i hate roaches. the second i see them i spray the strongest chemicals i can get my hands on.

Jen L. said...

Send some o' that my way. Maybe it'll get rid of the damn mice!

Anonymous said...

Will he come to Texas you think?
B

creative kerfuffle said...

pharoah ants? big headed ants? smoky brown roaches? i never knew. i feel it is my duty to inform you though, none of that stuff will kill spiders. another lifetime ago when we lived in oklahoma, the hubs went to "bug school" to work for a well known pest control company. he learned that none of the stuff they spray on the ground or on stuff kill spiders because spiders do not drag their bodies through it (because of their big long legs). w/ spiders you have to spray it directly on them.

 
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