So, the bug guy left me a letter today:
Dear HotchPotchery,
Today I put a giant vat of bug killer all around the outside of your house. It is not organic, and is actually the most opposite of organic that is possible...it is man-made horrible poison made with extra cancer and if you accidentally lick it you will get tongue tumors within 5 minutes. However, this toxic substance will kill the following critters:
American Roaches, Ants, Ants, Species Unknown, Argentine Ants, Big Headed Ants, Ghost Ants, House Ants, Outdoor roaches, Pavement Ants, Pharoah Ants, Roach Species Unknown, Roaches, Scorpions, Silverfish, Smoky Brown Roaches, Spiders.
Yours Truly,
The Bug Guy
UMMMMMM....Roach Species Unknown?
SOLD.
I threw the letter away.
(I ad libbed the orange italics...but surely that is what the bug guy meant by "I treated the exterior and pest entry points.")
Showing posts with label some stuff is too gross to keep a secret. Show all posts
Showing posts with label some stuff is too gross to keep a secret. Show all posts
Monday, November 8, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
so it wasn't a rock afterall.
The weather here this week has been absolutely divine. So great that all I want to do is breath the outside air...and actually right now I have all the doors open (don't tell Mr. P because I guess bugs like to come inside, and he would prefer I just open windows) and am 'working' from the patio.
On Tuesday I just putzed around the house and went running and when I finally couldn't put it off anymore, went in to work to finalize my exam. I took my gym stuff because my circuits class is on Tuesday afternoon. I ended up not allowing myself enough time, so I ended up having to scramble and throw my gym clothes on and run to get to the class on time. I felt a little stone in my shoe and thought that once I got to an ab exercise I would take my shoe off and get it out.
It shifted, so ended up not bothering me so I didn't look for it until after the class. It wasn't a rock afterall.
It was a broken nail. No, not a metal nail like for hanging up pictures, or hammering wood. I looked at my toes, all intact. Looked at my fingers, in tact. I don't know where it came from or whose it was, but ACK. GROSS.
But, that isn't the worst thing I ever found in my shoe. Once, I had a 'rock' in my shoe and when I got to work and checked, and it was actually a
roach. A COCK.ROACH.
The only good thing? It was dead.
(That happened about 15 years ago when I was working graveyard shift at a diner and living at my dad's house in between Mr. P getting out of the Air Force and us starting at school. ahh the good old days.)
On Tuesday I just putzed around the house and went running and when I finally couldn't put it off anymore, went in to work to finalize my exam. I took my gym stuff because my circuits class is on Tuesday afternoon. I ended up not allowing myself enough time, so I ended up having to scramble and throw my gym clothes on and run to get to the class on time. I felt a little stone in my shoe and thought that once I got to an ab exercise I would take my shoe off and get it out.
It shifted, so ended up not bothering me so I didn't look for it until after the class. It wasn't a rock afterall.
It was a broken nail. No, not a metal nail like for hanging up pictures, or hammering wood. I looked at my toes, all intact. Looked at my fingers, in tact. I don't know where it came from or whose it was, but ACK. GROSS.
But, that isn't the worst thing I ever found in my shoe. Once, I had a 'rock' in my shoe and when I got to work and checked, and it was actually a
roach. A COCK.ROACH.
The only good thing? It was dead.
(That happened about 15 years ago when I was working graveyard shift at a diner and living at my dad's house in between Mr. P getting out of the Air Force and us starting at school. ahh the good old days.)
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
and the HITS just a keep on a coming!
So yesterday was my first hula hooping class.
OH, I didn't tell you I was taking a hula hooping class? mmm. Well, it is yet another thing I have never, ever been able to do that I have always attributed to my fatness, and damn it, I want that to stop. Plus I have a friend and she is part of this hooping gang and they hoop all over town and it sounds just dorky enough that I want to play too. So, I go to hooping and there are several people a bit rounder than me, and even some quite a bit older than me, and a 65 year old DUDE, and
I.am.the.ONLY.one.who.can.NOT.hula.hoop.at.all.
Even after an hour of lessons, where I receive several remedial instructionals from the hula hooping guru. Apparently I do not have appropriate hip posture and man it is so discouraging, but I tried the entire time and have 7 more weeks of classes and damn it all, I will HULA.
So, after I get home from hula and we eat and watch Biggest Loser and play farming on the computer, I decide to retire quite a bit later than usual because oh, for the love of all my laziness, I am still sore from Monday's adventure back to Body Pump and it was easier to stay on the couch than go downstairs to go to bed.
And this brings us to the crux of our story today. Most of our house is on the TOP floor and there are stairs at the edge of our dining room that lead downstairs to the master suite...and our Christmas tree is right by those stairs so that when I walk down the stairs I can look under the tree at eye level. What? That isn't a very good description? OKAY, then...here is a drawing:
(Not to scale).
I have my new "Cooking Light" and the remains of a Diet Coke and I start easing my way down the stairs like a two year old, because OH MY GOD I am so sore. And I look at the little edge of the railing and I see lots of "DOTS" which I first just attribute to pine needles. Then. I looked a little closer.
YUP. BUGS.
Lots and lots of dead teensie tinsie disgusting bugs.
After I have a quick seizure thinking of all the lyme disease I surely have already caught from the 4,000 ticks that have taken over my house, I regroup, log back into my computer and Google, "black bugs Christmas tree".
Seems that, in fact, they are not ticks but instead are harmless aphids that stowed away on my tree and when the sap started running out they dried up and died. And you know what might completely skeeve you out? I left those dead suckers there and will vacuum them all up tonight after Hobson hits the streets. I was too tired and too sore to even consider taking the ornaments off the tree and I like my ornaments too much to do it when I am completely impatient.
So, while I did NOT have any hot flashes last night, I did have the creepy crawlies, just sure those aphids were all.over.me.
How was your day?
OH, I didn't tell you I was taking a hula hooping class? mmm. Well, it is yet another thing I have never, ever been able to do that I have always attributed to my fatness, and damn it, I want that to stop. Plus I have a friend and she is part of this hooping gang and they hoop all over town and it sounds just dorky enough that I want to play too. So, I go to hooping and there are several people a bit rounder than me, and even some quite a bit older than me, and a 65 year old DUDE, and
I.am.the.ONLY.one.who.can.NOT.hula.hoop.at.all.
Even after an hour of lessons, where I receive several remedial instructionals from the hula hooping guru. Apparently I do not have appropriate hip posture and man it is so discouraging, but I tried the entire time and have 7 more weeks of classes and damn it all, I will HULA.
So, after I get home from hula and we eat and watch Biggest Loser and play farming on the computer, I decide to retire quite a bit later than usual because oh, for the love of all my laziness, I am still sore from Monday's adventure back to Body Pump and it was easier to stay on the couch than go downstairs to go to bed.
And this brings us to the crux of our story today. Most of our house is on the TOP floor and there are stairs at the edge of our dining room that lead downstairs to the master suite...and our Christmas tree is right by those stairs so that when I walk down the stairs I can look under the tree at eye level. What? That isn't a very good description? OKAY, then...here is a drawing:
(Not to scale).
I have my new "Cooking Light" and the remains of a Diet Coke and I start easing my way down the stairs like a two year old, because OH MY GOD I am so sore. And I look at the little edge of the railing and I see lots of "DOTS" which I first just attribute to pine needles. Then. I looked a little closer.
YUP. BUGS.
Lots and lots of dead teensie tinsie disgusting bugs.
After I have a quick seizure thinking of all the lyme disease I surely have already caught from the 4,000 ticks that have taken over my house, I regroup, log back into my computer and Google, "black bugs Christmas tree".
Seems that, in fact, they are not ticks but instead are harmless aphids that stowed away on my tree and when the sap started running out they dried up and died. And you know what might completely skeeve you out? I left those dead suckers there and will vacuum them all up tonight after Hobson hits the streets. I was too tired and too sore to even consider taking the ornaments off the tree and I like my ornaments too much to do it when I am completely impatient.
So, while I did NOT have any hot flashes last night, I did have the creepy crawlies, just sure those aphids were all.over.me.
How was your day?
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