Thursday, September 30, 2010

I am not mad

I have been out of blogging mode for most of the last year.

A few days ago, I decided to read my old blogs to see where I was, to see if I could relate to where I am now. DUDES. I was angry and bitter and then angry some more. I want to chalk it up to tenure tension, but even after I got tenure. I was upset and angsty and upset some more.

Maybe that is why I am less bloggy, I am not pissed at the world, when apparently I used to be. I love my life. I get annoyed and pissy, but in all seriousness, I am getting on board with my tiny house, I love my husband, I have tenure, so I only have to do work that I LIKE to do...I have money I need to pay my bills.

Nothing is that different from a few months ago. I wonder why I was so bitter---I am embarrassed by how nasty I was about my life.

Sorry life. I know it's good.

11 comments:

creative kerfuffle said...

i am really happy for you...but...i hope this does not mean you're going to quit blogging! you can write about good stuff, or silly stuff or whatev. do you have a puppy yet?

--V said...

I wonder...it seems your blogging slowed down after Mr. P. got fired from the job he hated. Do you think maybe you were taking on some of his angst and releasing it here, and now that he's happier, you're happier?

Or, you know, you could just be too busy enjoying life to stop and write about it.

Kate said...

When I look back on my blogger, I just see the seasons of my life. Sadness, grief, trying new things and now? Steady contentment. I love that I can see it in my writing. You can see it in yours, too!

kilax said...

Sometimes we just go through phases like that! I am happy the absence means YOU are happier :)

wannabeamy said...

Life is good. It's great when we can remind ourselves of the good things in life. :-D

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

If it helps at all, I never thought you were bitter. And when you expressed frustration or disappointment, I always felt it was for valid reasons. That said, I think it's great you're in a better place now ... though, I will also say I've missed your bloggy absence. =)

Alice said...

hee, i love that you've apologized to life here ;-)

it's ok if you write boring posts! we're still happy to read them & hear from you! :)

Shelly Overlook said...

If I slap you a few times will that make you angry so you blog more?

Or worse - what if I call you a 'Bama lover???

chezjulie said...

I would say you were more anxious and frustrated. You had a lot at stake waiting to see if you got tenure, and now you don't have anything hanging over your head like that. You were also having some rough adjustments with your Mom moving nearby.

Believe me, I know some angry and bitter people, and I wouldn't put you in that category! But if you could stop by and blog sometimes when something funny happens, we would all appreciate that.

Tammie said...

i agree with kate, i think the whole thing kinda ebbs and flos.

wafelenbak said...

Ha, yeah, I was looking at my blog from right before I took a "break" and thought, "Whoa!! I was getting a little bit crazy!" Now I'm less crazy but kinda boring. ;)

 
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