I am so completely in a lazy, McLazy, LAZY status right now I can barely stand myself. I have not run since last Tuesday under the guise that my plantar fasciitis has flared up again and I don't want to be too injured to walk during Relay this Friday. (I call bullshit on myself here, by the way.)
We had friends visiting last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and all three meant I drank and ate too much, which resulted in my complete vegetative status on Saturday that consisted of House and Criminal Minds, playing Zoo World incessantly all while eating Chinese food and pizza. I have done the work I have to do to stay above water, but then I am spending the rest of my time watching television or just looking out the window. I have polished off the Easter candy, and perhaps the most telling sign...since my journey began the beginning of 2009 I didn't weigh in this morning. What the hell ?
But this afternoon, I was thinking about why I am freaking out and completely reverting, and I think I know what has triggered this latest sabotage that kind of started about 6 months ago. I am not quite ready to talk about it, not until I get my head straight about it anyhow. Bear with. However, since I think I know what my problem is, even though I don't really know how to deal with it quite yet, I have told myself, assured myself, promised, begged, cajoled and pleaded with myself to at the very least get my run on tomorrow. I guess we shall see.
ETA: After some effort dragging myself out of bed this morning, and reading the comments that were very supportive and maybe a bit naggy, I did get out there and managed to pound out 4.28 miles. If I didn't have a meeting in 45 minutes I think I would have just kept going and going while I debate myself about what is going in in my brains. Now to see if I can get the food to follow suit.