Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I don't get suicide

A guy from my high school class posted some goofy stuff on Facebook in the morning. Went to his job all day, picking up his step son in the afternoon to help him. Went out to a bar that evening, and ended up getting into an altercation, got arrested for aggravated assault, posted bond (it was only $1000). He went home, went into the backyard and hung himself for said step son to find him when he took his dog out in the morning.

I know that in his mind it likely was the only alternative, but I HATE this. I am so sad for his wife and boys and so damn angry at him, and we weren't even close. But still. SELFISH. STUPID. SELFISH some more. I ache for his 8 year old that now has to carry this weight that his DAD felt was too heavy.


Anonymous said...

That poor poor boy. Now he's fucked up for the rest of his life.

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I think we are each entitled to do what we want with our own lives ... with one caveat: that we don't screw up the lives of others. Though, I don't understand suicide, I think it's each of our choices. I only wish that man didn't do it in a way as to leave a horrifically visual reminder for his family.

Swistle said...

I just read a novel where someone was suicidal. It was a NOVEL, so I don't know if this was researched well or ANYTHING. But it was the first time I'd heard the point of view that people who commit suicide feel as if they ruin everything, that they make other people's lives worse, and that the world would genuinely be better off without them. Which, if true, helps to explain the selfishness part: if in their delusion they think they're in fact acting selflessly, getting rid of themselves to improve other people's lives.

That doesn't explain killing oneself where a child or loved one will find the body, though.

Alice said...

i can *almost* understand (well, ok, not understand, but appreciate) the feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness that would lead someone to truly believe that your friends and family would be better off without you around.

i CANNOT understand how you could EVER, EVER, EVER be so selfish as to not only convince yourself that was true, but do it in such a way that your CHILD IS THE ONE TO FIND YOU OMFG.

creative kerfuffle said...

i also don't get it. i mean i can understand the feelings that would lead up to it (hopelessness, etc.) and i understand depression..but i don't get leaving that legacy for your kids. don't get it at all. THAT is the selfish part.

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